So now it is clear that many teens will suffer damage to mental health from lockdown what is the government going to do?

[1SayT0mat0]

Because where I live CAMHs are doing sfa and have been woeful throughout.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-53022369

Yes, won’t hold my breath.

Batters,why only one day a week? If they are teens, cant they go out on their own? Do they have a bike? After a few weeks in, my son rediscovered his bike, and he was off cycling round the neighbourhood for his exercise. Made all the difference for him.

We have worked all the way through, home schooled two children, looking after elderly parents and still managed to go out for the day every single weekend since restrictions were eased. I don't think I would have coped half as well if we hadn't. Why not try it and see, pack a bag now and say enough is enough we are out of here?!

As in go out right now somewhere fun. Take a ball, some sandwiches and leave. There is a whole world of people out there doing just that.

Batters...I mean this in the nicest possible way as it sounds like you are struggling...do you think your negative attitude rubs off a bit on them? If you are always looking for fault, and doom, kids will see that.

We used to go for daily walks and was always amazed at how a lot of people never seemed to. We'd be out for ages and only see 3 people. That's going to have a massive affect on lots of people, if you never went out at all.

I expect the government will announce mental health is a huge problem and force schools to have a named mental health coordinator to monitor it.

They will allocate no funding, time or training towards it, though schools may be able to send their coordinator on private courses by Academy trusts if they have a spare £485 per delegate per day. This training will be woefully inadequate.

The coordinator will still have a full time teaching load and no budget or staff to offer any provision to anyone.

Mental health will become a huge part of Ofsted accountability and the allocated mental health coordinator will have a breakdown and leave the job completely due to the pressure.

Just my thoughts.

Pigeon my husband works full time 6 days a week and finishes at 6. I work full time. We’re shattered and cooking tea after. We go out for a quick walk with them often quite late. Can’t do any more than that. Sat is food shopping and chores. Sun a longer time out.

I have not rubbed any negativity onto my dc. I have teens who are ok. One isn’t. We work and get on with life and have attempted a long line of positive activities after hours of research. Read the thread. This has had a massive impact. Many teenagers are not going to simply bounce back. And yes it will be foisted on schools to sort with zero cash.

I think the general message people are trying to give is don't wait or expect some support from government/mh agencies.

Theres also been some good ideas on this thread that those struggling could try. Of course they may not work for all but they will for some.

It comes across negative and 'blamey' but the reality is its largely going to be down to parents to look after their children and there's no real easy way of saying that. And sometimes a strong message is necessary as some parents struggling now may think some help is going to come along and solve it but the truth is it won't. So they're going to have to continue to try different things themselves.

I really don’t know what else to do.

As we just about to enter the mother of all recessions, we can not and should not rely on the state. We are going to have to pull together, fundraise, be creative and realise that only the most severe cases will be seen. It is just a fact. We are going to have to rise to the challenge. This will be the case whoever is in charge of the country.

The buck ultimately always starts and stops with us. No one else is responsible for our wellbeing. No one is going to pick up the pieces so we need to make sure we take care of ourselves, and those around us.

batters Make Sunday count. That is your day for something special. Make a long list as a family of where you would like to see, who with etc and go for it. Even once a week would be better than nothing.

Everything is opening, most places are already open and operating ticketing even if they are free. Just do what you can with the time you have. It doesn't need to be all day if that is too much. Start small.

Friday evenings could be cooking night, Saturday afternoon could be chores and then something fun. You are working hard, but you need to devote some time to having fun. It seems completely absent from your posts. Have some fun Batters, it is not easy at first but is like every new habit.

I am so tired, I have only slept for three hours. I am going out now with the kids for another picnic. We have some bats and balls. It is not the wildest day out but will be good for them, for all of us.

Get yourselves out!

Have you had a conversation with school. I read the HT when one of my children was crying daily and self harming and she has been attending school every morning since then and it's a different child. They sit on their own with a laptop, no interaction with friends etc but it was lack of routine stressing my daughter and she is a high achiever but unable to focus at home and so was way way behind on set work which was again stressing her.

@Batters3aPark A you have other teens who are doing OK you know this is not your fault. (I have one teen who is absolutely loving lockdown, and regularly bounces around the house singing "I'm winning at lockdown!" before going off on his bike. This has nothing to do with my ace parenting! I have another who has become anxious, and another who is simply angry his nice life at uni has been interrupted)

I don't think it's the government's fault either, and while I do think it would be good if they could plough money into picking up the pieces, realistically that's not going to happen. It's going to cost families time and effort and a lot of money to manage their teens mental health.

Can you tempt your DS out with the prospect of a theme park or do you know someone who might need their dog walking? Often things suggested by people other than parents go down better with teens.

At times I just think, all you can do is model good behaviour: get up early, work hard, eat healthy, exercise and be nice.

OP - couple of questions.

How was your teen before lockdown?
How old are they?

Before the pandemic it was very difficult to get any mental health support for children. NHS or private. CAMHS are in such a mess that desperate parents were going private and in turn those services are overwhelmed and not taking new patients.

So what happens Lynette to the families who don’t have the money or mental resources?

Said child hates the outdoors particularly at the moment due to lockdown hair.Is causing huge anxiety so 3 hours out is a compromise we met. Will try and enforce night time run on top of teatime exercise but it’s hard enforcing a depressed teen if they refuse I can’t throw them over my shoulder and make them physically run.

Used to love the cinema and crappy stuff like Starbucks and shopping. Shopping isn’t going to be pleasurable with endless qing although I might send him into town on an errand. Won’t go until haircut and refusing clippers, v low self esteem/ self hatred.Might do drive through Starbucks god knows when.

Will continue to wait to see what CAMHs come back with after crisis call and will try and get a gp phone call. They weren’t much good originally though and just referred to CAMHs. Will continue to do my research re private help. He needs good quality counselling and I know everything else is like a sticking plaster.

With the greatest respect I have tried hoards and do a load of positive stuff myself which is why I’m fine albeit beyond worried.

Not all families can provide all the above.

Teen had had an awful time, then picked up and was doing really well. Spiralled down really badly in the past few weeks.

Ah awful time before lockdown? As a result of a specific event or more general?

What helped pick them up?

You mentioned they have no friends- is that recent?

How old are they?
Is teen open to text based support? It’s often really popular.

So what happens Lynette to the families who don’t have the money or mental resources?

Basically they're stuffed. A lot of people are going to be very set back by this pandemic. The divide between winners and losers is going to be widened further. Sorry, I don't think it can be sugar coated.

@1SayT0mat0 this website is supposed to be good op
www.kooth.com/

It’s interesting that the article you linked to said can lead to issues. My experience with my shielding year ten has been positive, she misses her friends but she chats constantly on Facetime and snapchat or Insta. She much prefers working at home and realises his stressful she found school. She would rather be at school so she can she her friends but despite not seeing anyone in person her mental health has not suffered. She is less anxious and more relaxed.

You only need to get your teen to September, and then they will all in the main be back in school. I am not for one minute saying this is a short amount of time but it is just a few months. The only way you are not going to seriously lose your way, and allow them to sink further is by taking action now.

You said you can only afford therapy or a break. Ask your teen which one would be better for them? Get them involved in their own recovery plan. I mean this kindly, we have a long way to go with CoVid. We have to get over the hurdles in the best way we can, and prepare for the next one. A break would make a difference at least in your energy levels and all benefitting.

Where do you get text based support?

Now worried sitting twiddling our thumbs waiting for CAMHs will make us end up losing out on private if we can find something right, good and affordable to us.

www.kooth.com/

This organisation are great.