God I feel flat.

[ssd]

Not even dressed yet.
Just feel low and shit and flat today.

Thank you @sparklingbrook. I think maybe my hormones are not helping the matter. I was tempted to celebrate 51 this year then do 50 next year.

Can I join in the miseryathon? It's been a total slog today /this week. I think made worse by yday's announcement that single people and lone parents can form bubbles and... I am still alone cos there's nobody for me.

Parents live 4 hours away and are in their 70s. Boyfriend dumped me at start of lockdown. Friends all have other people they will bubble with. Best friend shielding.

My little boy is wonderful but he has asd so conversation tends to be mainly about video-games.

Oh and the fucking cheery work shit. Had an online conference today that made me want to jump off a fucking bridge.

Sorry that was long

@LostandLockeddown

Can I join in the miseryathon? It's been a total slog today /this week. I think made worse by yday's announcement that single people and lone parents can form bubbles and... I am still alone cos there's nobody for me.

Parents live 4 hours away and are in their 70s. Boyfriend dumped me at start of lockdown. Friends all have other people they will bubble with. Best friend shielding.

My little boy is wonderful but he has asd so conversation tends to be mainly about video-games.

Oh and the fucking cheery work shit. Had an online conference today that made me want to jump off a fucking bridge.

Work is the worst because it’s sooooo close to ‘normal’. I drive home feeling worse than ever (although really quickly because of the lack of traffic on the roads).

@LostandLockeddown

I know it’s no consolation as it’s gonna be the SAME FUCKING THING tomorrow, but you’ll be ok

It’ll happen, there will be some normality...just sleep through it until it happens.

All the fucking pressure to bake, clean, garden, ‘learn new skills’...fuck that...just whale about and wait for it to be over

Thank you @hamstersarse..those are wise and helpful words plus I really like your username.

@Saucery I drove 2 mins to the supermarket. Its the highlight of my week

@LostandLockeddown I think it must feel like the first passengers on a train felt. So FAST! BREATHTAKING! All the scenery a BLUR!

Well I went my walk. So I feel I've done something. Didn't enjoy it but went any way.

Hope we all wake up brighter tomorrow.

Here’s to tomorrow not being quite as shit as today, @ssd 🍸

@ssd " Didn't enjoy it but went any way."

Sorry but that made me laugh! Yes, here's to better day tomorrow

Thanks folks!
I walked around with a face like a wet weekend...

So with you about the toxic jollity of making working for home fun, even worse when under the guise of 'mental health' or 'well-being'.

Being required to do 'Fancy Dress Friday' would make me either phone in sick or pretend that I had a problem with my camera (do that sometimes anyway).

It is so much better when it can just be acknowledged that this is just really, really difficult.

I felt like this on Monday, and on and off since. Today I really couldn't be arsed to cook the kids' tea... But of course I had to cobble something together. Now I can't be arsed to feed myself. The weird thing I find is this doesn't feel like lockdown anymore - just a rather shit life with nothing to look forward to

@Divebar - Oh please feel all the sympathy in the world for yourself. These times are hard. But remember, you WILL have a very happy unbirthday 50th celebration some time in the future.

@Misty9 that's exactly it! It's like we thought lockdown would happen for a little while and then we'd be back to normal but it's been a slow, boring miserable realisation that life is just a bit shitter and will be for the foreseeable.

Oh God yes 100% fed up and flat today. So tired and demoralised with home schooling 3 high energy boys and just the same old same old Groundhog Day.....

YY to what Misty said: in the beginning we were running on adrenaline - I was at work constantly (NHS ICU) and it was busy busy so no time to stop and think. Plus the weather was good so that helped.

Now it just feels grey, dystopian and depressing with no end in sight

It's so hard. I'm so depressed. Can't be bothered to do anything. (Cooking, cleaning, washing, home school, shopping)

I constantly feel sick and have a headache. I've given up drinking because I thought that wasn't helping but I still feel shit.

I feel bad about feeling bad, I don't have to work right now, financially we're ok. We're not shielding. Why am I feeling so awful 😩

I’m going through a really bad phase of finding fault with myself atm. Whenever I’m alone I’m muttering to myself ‘about what a useless pile of [insert nastiest word you can think]’ I am - I would never dream of speaking to someone else in the way that I talk to myself. I’m really struggling this week, after managing the first couple of months really well.

I feel shit this week too. I think it's very true about us living on adrenaline.

I hate my work this week. Life is a drudge atm. It seems to be about existing. A few weeks ago I could see the beauty in stuff, but the colour has been turned down to grey now.

Something I do know, even if I don't feel it, is that there will be better days.

I just feel this is going to go on and on. Can't see any escape

Glad it's not just me feeling really pissed off and fed up today.

I'm shielding and have been for the 13 weeks, can only do so much work from home as I work in a school as a teaching assistant.

Feel like colleagues are going to hate me for being home for so long whilst they've been working, but it's out of my control.
I can't wait to get back to work and have my life back

I was tempted to celebrate 51 this year then do 50 next year.

I think that's a fab idea! Or turn 50 two years in a row

I just cried and cried and cried last night.

I'm off to see a friend this morning and when she says how are you, I will have to go with "Fine, how are you?" because otherwise the floodgates will open again.

Yes, we have a house and jobs and we're OK and I am grateful for that, but my whole life as I know it has been ripped out from under my feet with no end in sight.

I've had to walk away from home schooling one of my DC because it was just causing me so much stress and damaging our relationship.

Both children are missing out on a social "life" (I don't mean parties, but the actual social aspect of their lives which is vital to their development and mental health) and their education because worksheets sent home does not make an education!

Don't worry, DH has the poisoned chalice now, so the poor lamb won't be completely abandoned without learning anything.

How are you doing @ssd and everyone? Good news this end is that I'm ill! So maybe I was just feeling miserable cos I was coming down with something and therefore I'm not just a miserable git!!