Bubbles, mum 71, wwyd?

[getoffthatbloodytablet]

My DM lives on her own. I'm an only child with 2 DCs, I'm also a key worker (NHS).
We've started meeting outside maintaining the 2m rule. But now they've introduced the single person "bubble" rule in worried she'll expect things to change.
I'm the risk. I mix with multiple people each day. My DCs obviously mix with me so they are also a risk. My risk hasn't reduced just because a new rule has been brought it.
I'm just not looking forward to the conversation I'm going to have to have with her. That no we won't be going onto her home / hugging her as Boris has said that we can, because for us, nothing has changed.
Am I right?

Theoretically you can 'bubble' with her, regardless of what you do for work but obviously theres more risk than if you were at home full time isolating with the kids. I guess it's a conversation around risk to have with her, it's her choice really and might depend on how vulnerable she is (age aside) too.

Thanks. I just don't think anything has changed for me. My risk hasn't gone down. But I know she'll probably feel differently.

Correct

I think you have to weigh up the risk of your mum getting the virus with the risk to her mental health if she’s isolating by herself for longer. It’s a decision only you can make as a family

I agree with PP, unless she doesn't have capacity to make her own choices, I would say it's up to her.

Presumably your risk won't go down until a vaccine is found, which could be ages away. I think it's up to her to decide if not being able to hug her only child and grandchildren for months or a year or more is tolerable Vs the risk of the virus.

It is her risk though, her balance to make to decide whether it is or isnt worth it OP not yours

and it isnt going to for awhile. I think you need to let her take that risk if she wants to.

Can't you have the antibody test if you are NHS and see if you've already had it? That would put your mind at rest if you had. It would if it was me.

@jitterbugintomybrain my antibody test was negative.

I agree that it’s up to her. My dad age 72 lives on his own and is forming a bubble with us. Although my husband and I don’t work outside of the house, my DS1 has gone back to school this week so he is mixing with other children and I am doing the school run. The risk has therefore increased (albeit marginally as the school have put in place stringent measures) but he’s happy to join our bubble so I am not going to oppose it. His mental health has deteriorated over the past 12 weeks and I am more concerned about this than his physical health.

It's difficult isn't it. My MIL lives alone, not far away, and it would be lovely to have her in our bubble... but our child starts back at nursery next month and will be a massive risk to her. Thankfully at the moment she's said she's not happy to take the risk, even though we've been being very careful.

It's up to her.

I'm a nurse and I'm having similar conversations with my parents. I did go round at the weekend as I had to help them with something, they point blank refused to come into the garden as they usually do and said they are sick of the whole thing. They told me, quite assertively that this was their life, that they would no longer be dictated to and certainly would no longer be sitting in their garden ( particularly in the cold!). Both myself and my sister are single parents, they will not ' choose' between us who is is in their support bubble either.
It's difficult and I'm uncomfortable ( I wore a mask when I went in at the weekend) but this irritated them immensely to be honest. They told me they are adults, and this was their choice.

I agree with you OP the risk hasn't changed just because the government have changed the rules.

But like others have said, this is going to be with us for a long time. We need to find ways to live with it. Is there a compromise you could offer, such as wearing masks, insisting your mother only hugs your children after they've washed their hands, and you try to keep the majority of the contact outside at a safe distance? All of those things reduce risk so that a brief hug might be worth it