Is anyone else still living in strict lockdown?

[laura081008]

Just that really.

Since March I’ve lived in lockdown.

My baby was born in lockdown and we haven’t seen anyone.

Even now the restrictions are relaxing, I don’t want to leave the house.

I’ve had friends asking me to go for a socially distanced walk, I don’t want to go.
Our parents have asked if they can come to our garden, or we go to theirs. I’ve said no.

I suffer terribly with anxiety and ocd and I just cannot face the world again after living in fear :(

It’s just too hard for me.

I can’t imagine going out to a clothes shop / supermarket and feeling comfortable.

My OCD means I doubt myself a lot and I know I would worry that I’d touched something, or forgotten to wash my hands.
It’s just not worth my mental health and the worries it would cause me by getting back into the “real” world, especially since it’s so far away from what I will remember before DS was born.

I feel like my life now will be confined to my living room and garden.

I’m being supported with my mental health but I really don’t think it will ever truly help, as my worries are the virus and until that goes away I will never want to leave my house.

I’m absolutely petrified of catching it and leaving my baby 😔

When will it ever go away.

How does everyone else feel?

Pretty much, but mainly because I'm working from home and I live in a rural area and the advice here is to stay home unless necessary to leave. I really have no interest in pottering around the shops at the best of times let alone now.
But I have gone for walks and occasionally done grocery shopping. I have to remind myself to socially distance! For me it isn't an anxiety thing, just a habit now.
But for you if it is an anxiety thing then you need to address that.

Are you saying your baby hasn't even been outside?? When we're they born?
Go for a walk, nothing will happen to you!

I'm a keyworker so been working and out exercising as normal, I have colleagues with asthma and we have all just carried on as before. Social distancing isn't possible for us, it's been fine, and honestly I am grateful for it, I haven't had to deal with the fear.

I suppose I am but my circumstances are different to yours, op, I'm a pensioner and though there's nothing wrong with me (as far as I know), I would be considered vulnerable. I hadn't been out for a long time before our rather flimsy lockdown so it made little difference to me, except that I suddenly had a good excuse for self isolating. I like my own company and enjoy the peace and privacy.

It's not going to go on forever and sooner or later you will go out and meet up with people again. I remember when I had a baby I preferred being at home, hated even going out to the shops and didn't want visitors; that's not unusual, you might have felt the same even without 'lockdown', we'll never know. However you will have to make the effort eventually and may find you enjoy it once you're used to it. Don't worry for now though, you can't afford to take risks with your health when you have a young baby.

PS I hope you have a garden and can enjoy some fresh air while the weather is good.

‘ Who told you that mild controlled asthma is "high risk" ? ’

The government!

It’s on the clinically vulnerable list

Not the exceptionally vulnerable/ shield list, the ‘flu jab’ list

A strict approach to distancing, and avoiding unnecessary outings remains prudent.

But there is no need to avoid going outdoors for exercise/leisure in places where you can reasonably expect the 2m rule to be respected.

Unfortunately, there seem to be an increasing number of people who aren’t doing it, and it’s damned unlucky that coincided with the time that the shielded were first told that daily exercise (with diligent distancing) was no longer against guidance

Yes.

However, it seems like a ton of other people have just conveniently forgotten!

Forgotten what? People are permitted to see friends and family in outside spaces/gardens in groups of up to six. Unlimited exercise is permitted. Sunbathing/picnics etc are permitted. Garden centres are open and non essential shops will be open on Monday. Just because you aren’t doing any of these things, doesn’t mean other people aren’t able to.

Op asthma is no longer considered high risk. Even severe asthma. You need to read more around the subject (not in the media or on social media)

I had been at home up until 2 weeks ago.
I went to a garden centre and popped into a small shop. It wasnt as bad as I thought. I had however been going out for a walk with the kids.
Regardless of the virus a walk really helps your mental health. I could feel myself starting to worry about coming out of lockdown so I pushed myself to go out. Choose a quiet time, early morning maybe and go for a 15 or 20 min walk with the baby. Will do you both good and you can build on the walk after a while and then do a little bit more maybe meet outside with a family member, but start small.

I'm a doctor so I've been going to work as usual, exercising and getting groceries. OP I'm sorry that you are so anxious and fearful, the media are really driving this disproportionate fear. It is impossible to live a life without risk, but the risk from covid really is tiny especially now the rate of infected people has fallen so much. As others have said start small venturing out and I hope you can get some real life help over the phone.

Hi OP. I also have mild asthma and it is now not considered any more of a risk than no asthma. I did read a report somewhere that those who use steroid inhalers regularly actually fared a little better but that's still to be properly proven. As long as you practice social distancing you are at very low risk outside. Personally I am managing risk by minimising it with delivery shopping/click and collect and just using the smaller shops with very few people in them. I have seen friends and family socially (up to 6, outside and distanced) which I've found so beneficial for my frame of mind. How about starting with a quiet walk somewhere with just your household members ?

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to want to stick t your own home/family group. As pp have said, we must all do our own risk assessment and behave accordingly within the guidelines. If you are not comfortable accepting these invitations do not allow anyone to force or shame or bully you into doing something you don’t want to.

@GentlyGentlyOhDear

I'm struggling too with anxiety. New baby is 14 weeks now and I have a 4 and 8 year old. Also have mild asthma. Have only recently left the house to go on 7am scooter rides with the kids.
My baby needs her jabs and 6 week check and we are booked in at the docs tomorrow but I dont know if I will be able to go. If I do I know my mental health will be wrecked for the next 2 weeks

I’m exactly the same. Sat waiting for the two week period to be over to feel that bit “safer” that I haven’t caught it.

Yes baby has been outside. We go into the garden most days and we also have a short walk around our street but we don’t go very far.
We also go in the car for a drive most days but I choose not to get out of the car.

The NHS website has two categories, high risk and very high risk.
Asthma is in the high risk category?

@unchienandalusia

Op asthma is no longer considered high risk. Even severe asthma. You need to read more around the subject (not in the media or on social media)

Where can I find this information?

They call it exceptionally clinically vulnerable (aka high risk, shield) and medically vulnerabke (aka moderate risk, 'flu jab' group)

Current list and advice for those on the lists: www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/people-at-higher-risk/whos-at-higher-risk-from-coronavirus/

We have been going outside, but generally haven’t been within about 5m of people. We have now met with my friend and my sons Grandma, as none of us have been anywhere indoors we let my son treat them as normal with cuddles etc.

asthma is vunerabke but not sheilding.

I'm following my doctors advice and being very careful about socially distancing. I'm getting most food online but I will pop to the shops or see a friend from 2 meters away.

Guidance is when I go back to work ot should be in the least risky role, so not sure what I'm supposed to do there.

Hi OP - I have a lot in common with you. I have twin babies and a toddler, who I'm worried about leaving without a mum (or dad), and I'm a very risk-averse person even at the best of times (we started isolating 2 weeks before the rest of the country did). I suspect that, like me, the "You'll be fine!" type posts do little to reassure you! The way I see it - I can't control much about how my body copes with the virus (though I'll do what I can to help - losing weight, taking vitamin D). But what I can control is my chance of catching it in the first place. And I'll be the judge of what it's safe for me to do and when - I'm not going to do something just because the government says I can.

So what I would suggest is thinking about some baby steps you can take and when you would be happy to take them, but then make yourself stick to it. You can see the number of cases in your local authority (link below) and I check it every day to see how many new cases there are near me. So maybe you could say that when your area has fewer than 10 new cases a week (mine does already!), you'll take the baby to a big grassy space where you can keep a good distance from people. When your area has had no new cases for a week, you'll go to a shop, etc. It will still feel a bit daunting the first time you do things, but you'll know that you yourself had judged it as an acceptable risk and it's nothing more than fear holding you back.

coronavirus.data.gov.uk/#category=ltlas&map=rate

Those is not you controlling your OCD this is your OCD controlling you. You are avoiding things so that you don't trigger OCD impulses which itself is part of OCD behaviour just like my husband used to get me to pour the children's drinks to make sure he didn't then worry he had contaminated them. He was so worried about contaminating food he couldn't even pick ups tin of brand in case he contaminated the lid and then some one else used the beans without washing the tin first. Instead of doing the compulsive behaviour his obsessive thoughts were controlling what he did. It's avoidance and reassurance which is a big part of OCD and it's tiring and damaging for the whole family as well as you

others have said it's taking small steps that you need to do. What do you think the risk is if you get our of the car when you go for a drive?
Are you in touch with MH services right now. Exposure therapy can be life-changing for people with OCD. It saved my husband and our marriage

We are doing what the guidelines suggest more or less. Our eldest, Y6, is back at school more or less full-time, DH back in office full-time, both very distanced. Youngster and me at home, still home schooling.

We meet friends outdoors, visit shops for essentials but that might include gardening or craft bits as keeping busy we've always thought were essential.

I'm not saying there is no apprehension there sometimes is. Just taking it a day at a time.

OP, just take things step by step, try a walk down your road in the day with you baby, just up and down, baby safe in buggy, all you touch is door and buggy.

We have to go out for the kids, we have to be the brave ones, no you can't eliminate risk but if all you have to actually do is go for an outdoor walk with a buggy and not go in a shop you more or less can eliminate risk. And it might help you relax just a little, see that the world is still out there.

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/27/phone-texts-notify-cancer-transplant-and-asthma-patients-they-are-off-shielding-list

Severe asthma is off the shielding list. Therefore you can conclude mild asthma is def not high risk.

@laura081008 I think you were at increased risk at the end of your pregnancy but now your risk of becoming seriously ill is very low. There is less covid about now so you are safer to walk out of your door now than you would have been in February and March when probably millions of people had it.
It now seems likely that you can't catch it simply walking past someone even if the person you pass is not socially distancing. You need to be next to someone inside for around 15 minutes to be at risk. If someone coughs over you indoors you are at risk but you can wear a mask to the supermarket to protect yourself. In terms of washing hands you only need to do this once when you come back to the house after going on an excursion. Set yourself targets each day to gradually unwind the OCD things you have been doing..eg half the number of times you wash your hands. Ensure that you go in the garden every day to get vitamin d from sunlight. Try and do half an hour's exercise every day as there are many health benefits and you will feel less anxious after doing a bit of cardio..even going on a walk. Go to a shop. The more normal activities you start doing the more you will feel normal and then you will worry less. I don't know specifically about OCD but most anxiety/phobia treatment involves facing up to the thing one is worrying about...by avoiding things that make you worried the fear will become greater. Don't be afraid to tell a health visitor or gp how you are feeling as they might be able to organise some online help. The only dangerous thing that has happened to me in a supermarket in the past few months was someone dropping a bottle of wine right next to me the other day..the glass went everywhere but fortunately it bounced off my leg!

I have asthma and worked on a covid ward so I've still been going to work etc.
I go out to the supermarket but haven't been to friends houses and nobody's been to mine. If I need to go out, I do.
We can't live in fear for the rest of our lives and as others have said the risk of catching it outside is very low.
Start off small with a short walk and see how you feel, being cooped up all the time won't do your anxiety any favours

I'm also asthmatic and suffer with general anxiety disorder - I'm particularly bad with health anxiety.

We've very much stuck to the rules and been careful - only shopping when necessary, exercise, hand washing etc. Won't be rushing to the shops/pubs when they reopen! Not because we're terrified, but because we can do without them so don't feel its necessary.

I've managed to keep my anxiety at a good level mainly by doing research, looking at the stats etc reassuring myself that whilst I am asthmatic I'm actually pretty low risk and that's ok. Not ideal, but not worth getting myself anxious over.

My SIL and her family have struggled massively with the stress of it all. One of my nieces has very mild asthma - no preventer inhaler and doesn't have the flu jab - so the whole family have bunkered down for the last 12 weeks and non of the teenage children are allowed back into school when they reopen to their year groups later in the month. On the back of it SIL in particular has ended up incredibly anxious, she can't reassure herself by looking at the stats etc as until it's gone they're all in significant danger