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Can I take my kids to the shops yet

60 replies

SodOffCovid · 09/06/2020 19:30

I'm so confused what the advice is and what people are doing. I need some bits for the kids which are basically cheaper than the delivery it would cost to get here (weaning bibs, a potty) . I have a two year old and a five month old. Toddler is well behaved and could be put in a tandem pushchair with the baby to avoid a trolley. My DH is a key worker wfh but works odd hours so atm I am waiting for him to finish work so I can leave him with the kids and dash to the shops. Baby is breastfeeding so I am always in a rush to get back. Its OK but difficult to work around. Annoyingly, I have found though when I've done this, that there are still families, or mums with kids in tow. Is this against 'the rules' or am I making things so much harder for us?

OP posts:
Yesterdayforgotten · 10/06/2020 22:23

Afew posters keep saying not to take children as they add to numbers but then what about couples and people shopping in twos? Where does it end? Live and let live for sure.

Jessuk86 · 10/06/2020 22:29

I took my 2 toddlers for the first time the other day it just made sense as had picked them up from the childminder and we needed some bits, my 19 month old screamed round the shop but everyone was really kind about it, I honestly think it was because it was so unfamiliar to him as he did the same thing the first time he had to go back in the car it's all being so unsettling for them I think its important they have a normalish routine again and see other people doing normal things even if it's at a distance (from a very well wiped down trolley!)

RainRainGoAway2020 · 11/06/2020 08:44

I've started taking my kids with me - usually one at a time and they argue over who gets to go. They sanitise their hands before and after and don't touch things or go near anybody. I find its other adults who don't keep their distance though. A man walked right into my 4 year old the other day. He was wearing a mask that he had pulled down so that he could talk on his phone Hmm.

DemolitionBarbie · 11/06/2020 08:51

I know it's not exactly what you asked, but potties and bibs you can get from supermarkets.

Or potty off gumtree/local listings and bibs you can just use muslins or cut up a t-shirt. You could also ask friends near you if they have any or would be able to get you some.

TreeTopTim · 11/06/2020 10:16

People are so quick to judge others.

My friend is a single mum to five children. How is she meant to get food. (online shopping is almost impossible to get a slot for).

I have been taking my baby out every time I go somewhere because DP is still working and out of the house for 12 hours a day. Me and DP both went to a shop last week because I wanted to get his opinion on something that concerned us both.
I took my teen to a supermarket to show them that it is ok. The world hasn't ended. Since lockdown their mental health has hit the floor. They need a bit of normality, they have been to the supermarket once in 11 weeks.

Lukasmummy · 12/06/2020 03:20

@CakeCakeCake21

You really have no idea about anyone personal circumstances

I can't see why anyone would have to go into a shop with both parents and a child, and I am usually one to bend over backwards thinking of reasons to excuse people's behaviour. And maybe it doesn't add that much time but when there are 12 people in a queue and it is raining - and it is not that small a shop - I reserve the right to get a tad irate.

How about the fact that we don't drive a car and the kids help carry the shopping home? We tried really hard to time it for when it wouldn't be busy, but to be honest I am tired of feeling like I have to apologise for my kids being anywhere.

We are a family of 5, and there are no good options. My husband works in the NHS, I have chronic health issues including seizures and my teenager and middle son have additional needs. The kids are 8, 10 and 17. We have also moved house during lockdown which means a lot of our usual options are now more difficult.

I can choose to rely on my husband to do the shopping on his bike after work so it's multiple trips to the supermarket a week. He isn't very good at following shopping lists or even reading text messages.

I can beg/bribe the teenager to watch the youngest in the house if I leave her a snack and her tablet (he cannot manage both of them) while I take the middle one on public transport to go to the shops. This isn't great for anyone since he really struggles to follow instructions and I really struggle to cope with the health issues. He also has anxiety issues that are made worse by people staring or being nasty in the shops even when he is wearing a mask and I am stopping him touching anything by holding his hand constantly.

I can trust the teenager to follow simple instructions regarding shopping and transfer the money onto his debit card, he can manage about 5 items correctly if they are essentials like bread and milk and he knows the packaging well, anything complicated that comes in multiple sizes/brands/flavours causes him to panic.

We have literally nobody we can ask for help, but we cope and we always have done. We are experts at fitting the shopping into the double pushchair, shopping trolley and backpacks.

Before lockdown, shopping as a family was part of the routine. Not only out of necessity but because it was a safe way for them to practise important skills like making choices and using money. Them being in the shop never had any effect on any other customers.

This sometimes involved us meeting my husband at the local Lidl after he finished work, we lived close enough that a shopping trip after Cubs had no effect on our kids, or a trip to Aldi with my middle son while my daughter was at Brownies or a visit to the shops during the school run because one bus stop was as close as another.

mylittlesandwich · 12/06/2020 03:49

There are many valid reason to shop with your kids. I haven't and won't but I really really miss shopping as a family. Walking round together and choosing our meals. Especially now as DS now eats actual food and it's great picking out things for him to try. I miss showing off my beautiful baby to all who cared to look. I remember having a really bad day before I'd ever heard of CV and I was in Asda. These two women who I didn't know peered into my pram and told me he was beautiful, the asked his name and then told me that was lovely too. It was so genuine. They then popped a pound in the pram and I finished my shopping. That interaction meant so much to me. Now I can't even take him to buy a pint of milk or I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Mnthrowaway20202 · 12/06/2020 04:01

Will be interesting to see what happens after non-essential shops have opened for a few weeks, when the initial hype has died down.

Currently there seems to be a general solo shoppers policy with most retailers, but I can see those rules being relaxed down the line as customers spread out across different shops etc and footfall is lower

Casino218 · 12/06/2020 04:44

I take my daughter because if she doesn't get out with me then her option is she stays at home. She has no school, she can't visit friends. She got some relief recently when the sun shone and she could sit in a park with her friends but that's been it. So anyone who wants to make a comment to me is welcome but they had better be ready for a mouthful from me.

Redolent · 12/06/2020 05:01

@mylittlesandwich

There are many valid reason to shop with your kids. I haven't and won't but I really really miss shopping as a family. Walking round together and choosing our meals. Especially now as DS now eats actual food and it's great picking out things for him to try. I miss showing off my beautiful baby to all who cared to look. I remember having a really bad day before I'd ever heard of CV and I was in Asda. These two women who I didn't know peered into my pram and told me he was beautiful, the asked his name and then told me that was lovely too. It was so genuine. They then popped a pound in the pram and I finished my shopping. That interaction meant so much to me. Now I can't even take him to buy a pint of milk or I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
I think that feeling that you’re doing something wrong is self-inflicted tbh. I’ve taken my toddler out shopping (in the pram) twice a week during the whole of lockdown and have never seen anything negative. Quite the contrary. She’s been waved at, complimented, chatted to from a brief distance (‘where’s your nose etc?’). Little snippets of interaction that are the most she got from other people.
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