Am I a mug?

[Velvetpeel]

I have been at home with my 3 kids one of whom is a newborn and whilst I recovered from a c section throughout lockdown. We’ve had no outside help since the first week of March.
We all developed COVID 19 symptoms after I’d been in the hospital including the baby.
All of this time my husband has been trying to work from home. I also have a chronic mobility issue that comes in flares, particularly when I’ve been doing too much.
We’ve been sticking to the rules, not seeing my parents (apart from this week social distancing) Not getting helping from my siblings. And I’m exhausted.
I then heard from friends who have one child and no work and are having MIL over to help two mornings a week as it’s so ‘hard’ managing. I’ve heard other similar stories from other friends.
I’m not having a go at them and everyone’s situation is different but I’m starting to feel like a mug pushing my family through something really hard without help when others are not. I genuinely believed we were doing it for the greater good (particularly as I think we’ve already had it) but I’m starting to feel I need to be more selfish. My health is definitely declining under the physical pressure of having all 3 at home with no ‘safety’ valves that we usually have.

Bump?

As for help. Your mental health is as important as your physical health.

Same here OP. I had a three week old baby and a 2 year old when lockdown began.
My husband, myself and our children live far away from our families so we haven't seen anyone since just before lockdown.
I'm worried about the effects of this on my 2 year old, about how poor post partum care has been, how that my family have missed the baby's early days etc. So it really annoys me when I see others breaking the rules.

@DanceWithYourBalloon I also have a two year old and worry about his lack of social interaction. He’s used to being at nursery and seeing my parents a lot.
It makes me wonder if I need to make choices just for my family as some many other people seem to be.
It’s so hard and I think it would be manageable if I thought other people gave a shit but so many are pleasing themselves now so why am I making myself physically ill and putting us under so much pressure to stick to the rules for the greater good?

I also had a baby at the start of lockdown. Not a section but I tore quite badly so was in a lot of pain for a few weeks. Got an elder DD who is 3 as well. It’s has been HARD having no support as I recovered & OH went back to work. My 3 year old has found the adjustment of a new sibling tough and completely compounded & doubled by her entire world as she knew it stopping dead. I’ve cried everyday. I’ve been so angry & frustrated. But I battled through until last weekend. At which point, I just broke down. I’d had enough. My other half is also exhausted & had no clue what to do. My parents nearby are shielding so he rang his & my in-laws made a 5 hour journey to come & stay with us for one night. I felt horribly guilty but I can’t tell you the difference it made. To have them take my elder DD and play with her solidly all day. I got a long nap, I had a bath & sat a cuddled my OH. They cooked us dinner, washed up & took the girls in the morning so we could go back to sleep!

It’s still hard but I feel lighter. I had a breather & some sleep. I’ve felt able to take on the world this week! How long that’ll last, I duno. & I probably won’t see my in-laws until allowed to do so now but we’ll see.

If you need help. Get some. The law has always said you can care for the vulnerable. Mental health issue make you very vulnerable in my opinion!

I do feel you OP but it's not a competition ie who's had it harder whilst in lockdown. I've not had a particularly easy time of it at home but i wouldn't begrudge anyone having a good moan. Everyone's situation is different and we all have that breaking point where we need to ask friends or family for help.