Going inside people’s houses

[HulaHuh]

So my DF turns 60 next weekend. The plan was/is if the weather is nice me my dd and also my sister and her ds (so max 6 people) to go to our parents house sit in the garden give presents, cards, have some food and drink etc. We’d arranged to sort and bring our own food, cups, cutlery etc and my parents have a big enough garden for us to space out.

So far the weather is looking dismal so I spoke to my Dsis and said there’s not much we can do on the day if it rains as we can’t go inside DP’s house. She said screw that I’m going in the house and that she’s not missing out on seeing our DF on his birthday. Told her straight I won’t be going in the house with my dd and she had a go at me calling me selfish and said I went to see a friend the other day so what’s the problem. But I went to see a friend on my own, sat in her garden and took a flask of tea. It’s a bit different. Am I in the wrong here?

No, I would stay outdoors too. I am looking at buying a gazebo for my own garden, for this reason.

Oh, it's so difficult now the weather has turned. Can you take a pop up gazebo or something?

Don't go indoors, you are quite right. You'll have to tough it out in the weather sadly.

From the sound of things our DP’s are happy to have us in their house. My DH isn’t at all happy though because they’ve all be so holier then now and posting on Facebook about how they’ve stuck to the rules and have been very judgemental about people who haven’t.

I suppose we could look into getting a gazebo. Suppose it depends if it’s just drizzling or chucking it down.

We bought a shelter for this reason. Now we can see whoever, even if it’s lashing down with rain. It doesn’t have any sides, so is basically open air. So unless the rain is horizontal, we should be ok.

I’ve been in my parents house.

I’d absolutely go in the house. Have been in my parents. Crack on and have a lovely time,

I would go in the house personally.

This is where the advice to use "common sense" falls down. If there's only the 6 of you, you've all been sensible with social distancing and you all employ stringent hygiene before and after the visit, the risk seems minimal to me but that would be common sense, not playing by the rules.

Get a shelter and do it outside.

We’ve had some family inside - we’ve all been isolating for 12 weeks so the risk seems minimal.

According to my neighbours you set a gazebo up at the patio doors for the look of the thing then completely ignore the distancing as you slowly get pissed and louder over the course of 9 hours. But maybe you only do this if you’ve spent the previous weeks screeching about how you are a key worker and everyone else must follow the rules and stay at home or else they are idiots. Oh and have been the neighbourhood prefect calling out those not clapping.

Stand your ground OP.

Our daughter came to visit yesterday, the weather forecast changed overnight and it was rainy and windy. She sat in her car with the window down and we sat in the hall. It was about 2 meters apart. Not ideal, but we have some health issues and her partner is vulnerable, so we just got on with it.

We were thinking of getting a gazebo, but we have terrible winds here, so not a great solution.

See we’ve had no one in our house since e week before lockdown. My Dsis works in a busy hospital department so is at a higher risk of catching than say me and my children as I’ve been working from home and they’ve not been to school and aren’t going back until September. My DP’s go every few days to check on my grandad but he has home care and has Carers in and out all day so they’re at a higher risk of picking up the virus as well. Plus, and I know I shouldn’t care about this, my family will no doubt take pictures and post them on Facebook and I don’t want people commenting about us being inside their house.

Stand your ground on this one, OP. Might have been different if everyone involved had been completely isolating in the 14 days up to the birthday, but your post makes clear that that's not the case for either your sister or your parents who (through no fault of their own) are relatively high risk.

How can you justify going inside. It just isn't necessary and is potentially dangerous. The weather isn't that bad

Don't be pressurised into doing something you aren't comfortable with OP.