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Original poster

To not blame people for minor social distancing rule breaks

53 replies

Cornana · 06/06/2020 18:28

Whilst I wouldn’t support a large party, AIBU to not judge people for the following?

  • letting kids play together
  • seeing partner who lives in another household
  • not always being 2m’s away on walks with another household

etc...

I don’t know if I AIBU and it’s irrelevant to me as my family and friends all live miles away as I just relocated before all this. I haven’t gotten the chance to make new friends in my community, so not many opportunities for me to go out regardless...

OP posts:
HugeAckmansWife · 06/06/2020 21:58

Fine with me. Intelligent adults need to make their own risk assessment based on their own health status, the number of other people they are inter acting with and the cost of not breaking the rules. Way too many sheeple curtain twitching and getting into a horrendous state worrying and being terrified when for the cast majority, there is little need.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 06/06/2020 22:05

YANBU. I've started seeing my mum in her house again. At this point I'm doing my own risk assessments.

Bonkerz · 06/06/2020 22:10

I've been totally for lockdown and rules but my eldest autistic son has started having panic attacks and mental health issues and needed to see his friend. She came over for a bit. Stayed with him in one room. Against the rules but saved him last night.

I went to drop off a present to a friends boy. I'm his childminder and hadn't seen him for 10 weeks. He literally ran at me. Grabbed me and didn't let go. How could I refuse that hug.

I think if 2 households have been really careful then mixing shouldn't be an issue with precautions.

FulfilledRemit · 06/06/2020 22:11

YANBU at all.

JustTryingToGetThroughThis · 06/06/2020 22:12

Yanbu
We've been to inlaws in the house twice. But kept prob 3m away. Except the youngest dc they hugged grandparents.
I went in my Dads today but I stood in doorway and chattednand dropped some bits off. .. Was pissing down I wasn't getting wet standing outside. I also borrowed his car but wiped it down before and after. Ie handles steering wheel. Although he hasn't driven it since last Friday anyway and prob won't drive till midweek.

dicksplash · 06/06/2020 22:19

I think you need to be careful with kids as they can't social distance so don't agree with kids playing together - although as others pointed out, it depends on the households. We are have pretty much shielded since lock down, going out as little as possible so if we got together with another similar household the risk is low to us passing between us.

I have no issues with two single people who are in a relationship living alone seeing each other. If they live with others get gets more complicated and I may not be quite so agreeable depending on the circumstances.

We have decided to carry on as we are for now. We are managing to get click and collect shopping and are working from home. I think we can remain like this until end of June when my yr 6 child is due back to school.

LilyPond2 · 06/06/2020 23:47

I think the kids playing together thing depends on context, eg:

  • child not yet back at school and desperately missing contact with other children so parents invite one friend round to play in the garden: wouldn't judge;
  • child has lots of different friends round in a single week: would judge.
PaddlingPoolAgain · 07/06/2020 01:39

I don't blame people for minor rule breaking, but am judging people more than ever for major rule breaking. It sort of goes hand-in-hand - the major rule breakers (eg. having a party) are potentially pushing the infection rate up meaning lockdown will go on for longer for people really suffering from it, who are breaking the rules in a moderate and IMO proportionate way (eg. seeing partner they don't live with, people on their own seeing a friend, lone parents seeing one other household for childcare).

Realitea · 07/06/2020 09:08

No way. I’m not doing it. The rules are there for our safety. Everyone is breaking rules now and it makes me so angry that some can think it doesn’t matter while others stick diligently to them. My MIL called the other day to say she’s organising a party for 13 next week in the garden and I’m just lost for words.

sparklefarts · 07/06/2020 09:11

Minor rule I can understand, to an extent.

I can't understand my neighbour throwing a full blown birthday party for their kid, including a bouncy castle. All kids and adults hugging etc.

They were out every week clapping for the NHS.

Ilikewinter · 07/06/2020 09:17

I went to see my parents yesterday, havent seen them since January. Im a key worker so have been working, risking my families wellbeing for the 'good of the nation'.
If people can go and protest in the thousands then i can see my mum and dad.

Pinkyyy · 07/06/2020 09:18

I've continued to see my parents throughout.

obviouslymarvellous · 07/06/2020 09:19

I think minor things fine. Use own judgements. We have people near us though whose kids just constantly play together in completely different groups. Kids in each other's houses, sharing paddling pools etc etc - this I do get a bit judgey on. These people are the ones who clapped every week and constantly put up posts on social media saying stay at home Hmmbut then the next pic is one of their kids with friends in the garden!

superram · 07/06/2020 09:22

I had a cup of tea at a friends yesterday. Would have sat in garden but was raining. Stayed 2m apart. Both households have been following guidelines.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 07/06/2020 09:23

I know everyone needs to make their mind up but kids playing tigether really is a sure way to spread between households isnt it?

CeeJay81 · 07/06/2020 09:24

I agree. I've stuck to the rules and so far but today I intend to break them for my daughter's sake, by letting her best friend round to the garden. Us mums will socially distance but we agreed the kids won't, they're 6 and desperate to see each other. We'll just wash their hands. Our school's are not due back till 29th, but she's desperate to go back and is getting so bored at times. It's a low risk area here and I know the other kids family have been sticking to the rules too.

Oblomov20 · 07/06/2020 09:33

I'm starting to doubt the rules. No one I know even knows anyone who has been ill. At all. Was talking to my friend about it. So, say she knows 100 people, as do my other 6 close friends, and my parents, and her parents, etc. So now we have 1000+, maybe nearer 2000 people? who haven't had it, haven't been ill, don't know anyone that has.

So if I meet my friend for a walk. Is the risk really that much higher if we sat in her lounge having a cup of tea, which is what we would do normally, but can't now, because that's rule breaking?

Catsmother1 · 07/06/2020 09:55

I don’t agree with mixing with a lot of different people, but I do think you should be able to mix with one or two people (as in the same one or two people) providing that all people have been careful about isolating previously - Like @Bonkerz. We had been sticking to the rules, until my daughter’s mental health plummeted. We now allow her to hug her boyfriend, and this has made a huge difference to her. I have always liked the bubble idea - a relative lives in NZ, and it’s worked well there. Bf isn’t coming in the house yet, but if the rules don’t change in the next few weeks then I think he will. People can’t stay apart indefinitely, and I think it’s crazy they are thinking about opening pubs etc, but you still can’t have a cup of tea in the same room as your mum.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 07/06/2020 10:05

I must admit thats one thing I don't get "the adults will socially distance andnnot the kids." Adults might as well hug if kids are.

If you imagine 2 households any person bringing it in will infect that household, so if 1 mixes they might as well all mix.

PaddlingPoolAgain · 07/06/2020 10:36

If you imagine 2 households any person bringing it in will infect that household, so if 1 mixes they might as well all mix.

This is what I don't understand about schools going back. We're not supposed to go to someone else's house for a cuppa (necessary here after cold and rain for days, if you want to see anyone) but children can mix freely at school.

UnderTheBus · 07/06/2020 10:42

YANBU
most people can, and should be trusted to, make their own risk assessments. We have let DD play with one friend. We have spent the afternoon in my parents garden and not expected a 3 year old to socially distance. We went into my husband's grandparents house and had a chat from the hallway to them in the living room, because his grandad is pretty much immobile and cant get outside easily.

LastTrainEast · 07/06/2020 11:03

Since half the country seems to think the virus has been cured by fairies it may not matter now.

Still, if people are going to increase the risk for someone make it a stranger or someone you don't really like. I'm always bemused by "oh but I want to see my Granny cos I love her so much I'm willing to take a chance on infecting her". If I were Granny I'd be really pissed off by that. I'm surprised there haven't been cases of Granny beating relatives with a stick.

Maybe we'll see threads like "AIBU to think my granddaughter only visited me because she's been promised an inheritance and can't wait."

Lweji · 07/06/2020 11:07

Walks should be fine, although it depends on wind direction.
Partners, not that different from living with them.
Children, I'm more worried about. They may not display symptoms and pass it on to the rest of the family. So, if anyone vulnerable at home or in contact then no. But if you trust the other family to only be in contact with you, then the risk could be very low.

SnuggyBuggy · 07/06/2020 11:10

I think a lot of people started with good intentions but are starting to hit walls and their mental health is suffering. The covid virus isn't the only risk to people's health.

Lweji · 07/06/2020 11:11

What some elderly people have been saying is that they've lived their lives and would rather live with family around than lonely, so I'd say it's up to them to some extent.
It's like smoking or eating. Some people trade off the pleasure for life expectancy. And it's their choice.

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