DH and I have one child, aged 8 months, who is the first grandchild on both sides of the family. My parents live in the area and have met her several times, all before lockdown. (My parents are both 70 and self-isolating by choice for the foreseeable future).
DH’s parents (both aged 70) live in Eastern Europe in a country that has thankfully been relatively unscathed by the virus so far. They were unable to visit us in May as planned due to the ongoing situation.
Unfortunately, I have been unwell with the increasingly recognised ‘long tail’ form of COVID-19 since early March. I was unable to access a positive test at that stage and was not hospitalised. However, my GP is fairly sure that I have had it and has promised to let me know as soon as an NHS antibody test becomes available for patients such as myself. I am still not ‘well’ as I continue to suffer mild breathlessness, headaches and fatigue.
DH and I have had airline tickets booked for many months to visit PIL from September to October for DD’s 1st birthday. We have agreed that if quarantine restrictions remain in place at that point then there is no point in us going. However, even if quarantine and other lockdown restrictions are lifted to some extent before then, I feel very anxious about travelling. This is because:
- I fear reinfection, particularly whilst travelling, and in turn infecting others
-right now, I can only do about 1500 steps a day and would need a wheelchair to get through an airport
-a further issue could be measles outbreaks which are predicted later in the year in Europe - DD will not be 12 months until October and so we would be unable to have her jabs until after our return. If there is any evidence of the predicted outbreak/s in Europe then I would definitely not want to travel.
MIL hasn’t been told of my illness as she is anxious about the situation already and DH and FIL feel it would worry her unnecessarily. MIL does not have any medical conditions but fears not surviving the winter due to the coronavirus and DH believes that if we do not visit PIL before then, they (particularly MIL) will want to visit us here.
I completely understand MIL’s fears, particularly having been in some very dark places myself with this illness. However, my feeling is that PIL would be much safer staying put - we could then postpone any travel until next year when hopefully things will be safer. There is the fact that they are adults and can make their own decisions BUT there is also the fact that they could pick up an infection while travelling and bring it back to us, so it’s not as simple as ‘at their own risk’... On the other hand, I understand their desire to meet DD.
As for the prospect of me, DH and DD travelling to them, I will feel very anxious to engage in air travel myself, for all the reasons above.
Should mention that DD is breastfed (we have no plans to change this) so DH would be unable to travel alone with DD.
I’m sure I can’t be alone in this type of situation, so would be grateful for your thoughts.... WWYD?