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Original poster

Face masks and hidden disabilities

167 replies

Firef1y72 · 04/06/2020 18:29

So I'm guessing those of us with hidden disabilities such as autism are going to have to wear some sort of huge badge or lanyard now if we want to use public transport.

I've tried using a face covering, I last less than a minute before the sensory overload starts to kick in. I can't wear my glasses that help me see, so wont be able to wear a mask. Cant stand things over my ears.

So I've been trying to get used to wearing a running buff over my mouth/nose. It's not happening, feels like I'm suffocating and no way I'd last the 40 minute bus journey in to town, without going in to sensory overload.

So if (and it's a big if) I am going to be exempt then I'm going to be even more of a social pariah than I am now with my stimming. The world just seems to get more dystopian by the day.

OP posts:
Keepdistance · 04/06/2020 18:33

I know it will be hard to have to show/tell about your disability but masks really are needed in enclosed spaces.
Could you use a visor or similar?

Original poster
Firef1y72 · 04/06/2020 18:36

No I can't. I struggle with anything touching my face as I said I cant even wear the glasses I need to see (which means I camt drive). I guess I'm gonna have to get used to people who really don't understand that autism is not a choice and that we cant miraculously suddenly deal with the sensory issues

OP posts:
Barbie222 · 04/06/2020 18:45

What would you like to happen OP? How could this be easier for you?

whatthefuckamigoingtodo · 04/06/2020 18:49

What's the solution?

lesbihonest · 04/06/2020 19:04

Having similar issue with my mum - who is flat out refusing to go out if she needs to wear one , but then gets upset that she can’t go out and panics that she’s going to be indoors forever ... she has post traumatic issues ... I’m at a total loss of finding a solution . Her OT trying to think of something.

Original poster
Firef1y72 · 04/06/2020 19:09

I'd like for there to be something to increase public awareness of the fact some people do have hidden disabilities that would make wearing masks difficult/important. I'd like not to think I'm gonna have to wear a huge badge so everyone knows I have autism. The one saving grace of having a hidden disability is that I can at least partially hide it (if i work really hard at controlling my stims and dont need to speak to anyone)

I'd like to know that those policing the face covering will be aware of why some people cant. And be sensitive to the fact that challenging someone with autism who isnt wearing a mask may cause that person to become distressed. I will struggle if spoken to by someone I dont know, and I have a heightened sense of personal space so would be uncomfortable if someone came too close. (Unlike the NT people around I'm loving the break from crowds and that people dont get too close)

I'd like not to worry about random strangers having a go or making snide comments because I'm not wearing a mask, which again will mean a massive public information campaign explaining why some of us cant wear them (as well as many of the public that already comment at my stimming getting some better manners)

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 04/06/2020 19:30

Has there been official guidance published yet? It may be worth emailing the bus/ train company you use to ask for advice?

EggysMom · 04/06/2020 19:35

Do you appreciate how difficult it will be to distinguish you - Person A, a clearly intelligent person who has a hidden disability, who cannot wear the mask but who also does not with to be approached to discuss the matter - from Person B, an ignorant c*nt who is sticking two fingers up to the government and its guidelines?

Do you have a suggestion as to how public transport staff can tell the difference, if you don't wear a badge or lanyard that distinguishes you?

You have my sympathy but I cannot think of a solution that you would like.

EggysMom · 04/06/2020 19:37

Actually I think I can. I seem to remember that when Network Rail introduced the sunflower lanyards, there was an option for a discreet card that you can show instead - something that doesn't stand out to strangers, but that you can quietly show if approached by staff. Hang on while I try and find out ...

puffinandkoala · 04/06/2020 19:40

Google how other countries are dealing with this. We're hardly the first country to be introducing face masks in these extremely limited circumstances.

greenlynx · 04/06/2020 19:41

The government exempts some categories from wearing face covering and I see it as a positive. My DD has additional needs so I was worried about this issue. I suppose people who will be “policing” the face covering will be aware of hidden disabilities as well, the problem is that you’ll need to have something to prove it in case you’ve asked. It could be GP of hospital consultant letter, we all obviously need clarification on what it might be. Many parents I know used similar letters to clarify why they go for a few walks per day rather than one in April/May.

I would guess once you are in - no one will question why you are not wearing face mask. Other passengers will know that it’s checked by staff.

Duckfinger · 04/06/2020 19:48

I am going to find this really difficult.
I have panic attacks when my mouth and nose are covered, I can't even tuck my face into my scarf in winter.
Problem is although I do have diagnosed anxiety it isn't a disability.

Original poster
Firef1y72 · 04/06/2020 19:48

@EggysMom

Do you appreciate how difficult it will be to distinguish you - Person A, a clearly intelligent person who has a hidden disability, who cannot wear the mask but who also does not with to be approached to discuss the matter - from Person B, an ignorant c*nt who is sticking two fingers up to the government and its guidelines?

Do you have a suggestion as to how public transport staff can tell the difference, if you don't wear a badge or lanyard that distinguishes you?

You have my sympathy but I cannot think of a solution that you would like.

I would fully expect to be challenged by staff, it's just it needs to be done sensitively.

tbh, I rarely use public transport, the crowds on the train stress me beyond belief and when someone sits next to me on the bus, I freak for the rest of the journey. So apart from the worry of dealing with the sensory overload from wearing a face covering and the idea of being challenged/judged if I don't, I think public transport as it is now sounds like I would find it so much easier.

I did consider getting a sunflower lanyard before COVID, because some of my behaviours/stims can attract looks and comments (I get especially bad if something doesn't happen when it's supposed to, like a bus or train being late). But I didn't because I was worried about people judging because I was wearing one, or not understanding the significance, or thinking that I didn't need one. (You'll be surprised by how many people say things like "but you don't look autistic"),

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 04/06/2020 19:52

I’d like not to think I'm gonna have to wear a huge badge so everyone knows I have autism.

So how do you propose we distinguish between those who can’t and those who won’t?

Original poster
Firef1y72 · 04/06/2020 19:59

@MintyMabel

I’d like not to think I'm gonna have to wear a huge badge so everyone knows I have autism.

So how do you propose we distinguish between those who can’t and those who won’t?

I would hope that at the very least the general public would keep their mouths shut. But I dont have that much faith in the general public seeing as i get comments about my stimming anyway (to the point where one person actually reported me to a security guard because apparently my rocking made them nervous).

Perhaps an exemption card that I show to the bus driver or ticket inspector.

OP posts:
ShinyFootball · 04/06/2020 20:00

This is all really tricky.

I have a hidden disability (not this sort it relates to mobility) and I really don't like having to discuss it with others/ strangers. I'm not embarrassed or anything but it's personal, and has a whole host of childhood stuff associated with it that I don't like to think of it IYSWIM.

Also with this, as PP mentioned it can easily be abused.

Also, the general public don't look for sunflowers etc they will just send dirty looks and so on.

The pregnancy badges for the tube had loads of people saying it was not fair, etc etc and a lot of hostility. Including from women (online, in real life it is ok).

These things are really imponderable.

DH works for public transport, I'll ask him what he's heard etc about this when he's back from his shift.

EggysMom · 04/06/2020 20:06

Perhaps an exemption card that I show to the bus driver or ticket inspector.

@Firef1y72 see my later posts at 19:37 and 19:38 - there's a sunflower ticket wallet that you can use to be discreet.

ShinyFootball · 04/06/2020 20:08

Thing with that is most companies are private

Even the public ones, Comms are not great, and turnover can be high.

The sunflower is not well known at all. I first heard of it 2 weeks ago on MN. Tbh I might not notice/ remember even though I've read it.

I will check with DH when he gets in. He's TFL.

PumpkinP · 04/06/2020 20:10

Yep this is going to be difficult. Dd has autism and will not wear a face mask, I can imagine people “ confronting” us or nasty comments /locks, trust me it happens! Now I will be unable to get on the bus as I will be too anxious at having to deal with people. Also will be worried about trying to explain to the driver etc.

JoanieCash · 04/06/2020 20:12

@Firef1y72 I have sympathies but not sure you should be using PT if you can’t tolerate a mask. As difficult as that sounds you’re increasing risk to others and does your right to go into town on a (non-essential) trip, trump others rights to be kept safe.

Cooper88 · 04/06/2020 20:14

You say you have sensory issues with things touching your face I'm just wondering if that extends to hats, specifically baseball caps. My nephew also has sensory issues with things touching his face but can where a baseball cap so has bought a new one and attached a visor to the brim if it so he is still wearing a face covering but not setting his sensory issues off as it doesn't touch.
Not trying to say you have to just throwing ideas out there for you.

Splitsunrise · 04/06/2020 20:15

If you rarely use public transport anyway (and guidelines say you should only use it if absolutely essential) then is this even an issue for you?

ThisIsMeOrIsIt · 04/06/2020 20:18

Not quite the same thing, but I'm hearing impaired and if everyone is wearing masks I'm going to find it very difficult to know what they're saying if they try and talk to me. My hearing aids are only useful really at a distance less than 2m but add in not being able to read their lips... I, too, feel like I need something discreet that says to people I can't hear so they're going to have to be patient and repeat themselves while I try my dictation app, or they'll have to remove their mask to talk to me... People already think I'm rude as sometimes it takes a while for my brain to figure out parts of speech I've missed so it looks like I've ignored them.

Fecking nightmare for all kinds of disabilities. Sorry, OP, no practical advice, just plenty of sympathy. I hope you find something that works for you.

itsgettingweird · 04/06/2020 20:22

Would you think some credit card sized card to show would be a good idea?

My ds has autism. And no! He ain't gonna tolerate a face mask. We've tried. He's 15 and more than able to communicate his preferences.

During the heaviest time of lockdown we just silently showed his gateway card at supermarket doors so they didn't question us going on together.

It did work here. They accepted hidden disability and didn't question us on why he couldn't remain home.

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