AIBU that DH won't travel

[FelineUK]

Had planned to go to Turkey in October for 10 days however DH is saying he will not fly 3 hours or more whilst Covid is still around, even in October. We only have hotels booked which we can cancel before September so that's not a problem. He thinks I should be patient and I'm trying not to throw the toys out of my pram. So I'm looking to compromise with a UK break (ferry instead of flight and self-catering) but not booked anything yet however concerned that when if we can start making holiday plans at the end of summer accommodation will get booked up quickly.

Is he being sensible or overly cautious?

Your DH is being sensible.

Pictures of people on flights recently showed no social distancing measures. Why would you want to get on a plane if the situation is like that?

Is it absolutely imperative for you to go on holiday this year? Your DH obviously feels more concerned than you about this. I wouldn't plan any holiday until you both feel safe and secure about the situation. I would want my DH to feel comfortable and not stressed whenever and wherever the holiday happens. If that isn't this year then so be it.

I’ve had to cancel 3 holidays this year, two European and one to Japan. I accept that this year is different and that is fine with me. It’s just a holiday.

I wouldn't book a flying holiday until this seems to be more controlled. Certainly not more than a couple of weeks in advance.
It could easily happen that they decide to close borders or stop flights.

Also be careful about insurance. If you book plane tickets separately from hotel, then you need cover to cancel the hotel if the flights are cancelled.
And make sure that covid or related is covered by any travel insurance.

Why risk it?? It’s a holiday!! A holiday is about relaxation!! You really think you’ll relax??
I’m sure we all can manage without a holiday this year.

I’ve a ‘friend’ who literally can’t cope as he hasn’t had a holiday since February!! I told him to look at the news and be bloody grateful!!

He is being entirely sensible and I suggest you save your money for next year : this year has pretty much been cancelled.

I don't think it's about one person being sensible and one person not. It's about different perceptions and comfort levels around risk. You are happy with the risk level; he isn't. It's just one of those things. Neither of you are necessarily wrong.

I wouldn't because 1) coming to bug season anyway and 2) it's been a ballache for some to change or cancel our holidays and get refunds. Plus insurance is shit and unreliable

I'd be worried about ending up quarantined in a small hotel room. Just the thought makes me panicky.

There are a lot of models that predict a second peak in November to coincide with flu season. The peak is either deaths, hospital admissions or cases. But in any case we know the incubation period is long and the time to death is long.

It’s pretty obvious that the spread is expected to start in October. Added to which no one has any idea on what will happen with spread when measures are relaxed.

All of Europe is pushing for an opening up of tourism. It seems to me that this virus caught hold in Europe during the peak of the winter holiday Season in a popular tourism area.

Rather than learn that lesson we seem determined to jump on planes in greater numbers to sun in the Mediterranean in crowded hotels.

Boris Johnson extols the virtues of instinct and common sense. Look where that got him and his government. It’s not a protection against a public health crisis.

I'm hoping to be able to book sk.wthi g for september. I usually wouldnt care about losing a holiday for 1 year but it was supposed to be our honeymoon, wedding has also been cancelled. Im now pregnant with dc2 and we will jot be able to go abroad next year or potentially the year after so I'm desperate for this get away

Also be careful about insurance. If you book plane tickets separately from hotel, then you need cover to cancel the hotel if the flights are cancelled.

The numpties I know who are planning on going to the Med this Summer aren't going to even get insurance at all. They're relying on the EHIC! One of them actually flew out on holiday on the Sunday, the day before the full lockdown was announced on Monday despite dire warnings not to travel and it being clear that Europe was getting locked down, country by country. Then spent the next week whinging about places being closed (restaurants, shops etc) and not being able to get a flight home and then whinging about being charged by a different airline when he found a flight. Yes, he's the numpty without insurance (and without any functioning brain cells either!).

I understand that people think he is being cautious, what I don't understand is why he is willing to fly 3 hrs but not longer, what difference does it make. It should be that he's not willing to fly at all, that would make more sense

I get the plane phobia, but I can't see how any public transport is safe by that standard. Basically any enclosed space where you have to touch things like handles (e.g. a bus) has the same risk. Bis, taxi, ferry...you name it.

OP I don't think you are being silly and I would be inclined to travel, however things that worry me are :
Someone on your flight with covid symptoms could mean sitting on the tarmac for hours at either end .
Someone in your hotel diagnosed with covid meaning you could be confined to your room.
Either of the above preventing you getting home .
Yourself contracting covid , in a country like Turkey, what kind of medical care could you expect and would it be covered by your travel insurance?
If you've got kids imagine being confined to your hotel room for 2 weeks. Enough to put me off!

I would refuse to discuss it until closer to the date.

Right now, people have different levels of fear.

The papers are full of stories that we won't have any more cases in July, now, that could be bullshit, or it could be right. If it is right, if by July this is pretty much gone, he might well relax at that point.

If you don't need to cancel until September, hold off until the summer to make the decision.

I can see if you are a planner you want something to look forward to, but try to relax, tell yourself if you can't go to Turkey, you'll cancel and use the money to book a last minute deal in the summer.

Hold off having the argument because it's most likely to get your DH to entrench his views. take a deep breathe, tell him as you don't need to cancel until September, let's not think about it until August, at least that way you'll have a better idea how things are going and what sort of risks you'll be facing.

I know it's tough if you are a planner to not plan!

oh and OP - as you can see from this thread, there's a lot of fear re travelling even in the UK. I wouldn't presume everything will be booked up in the UK for the summer. Particularly if you can be flexible about where and when you go.

It's hard to do if you like to plan and have things sorted, but try really hard to just not think about it for another month at least !

Is there really a need for the snide comments? Simply querying as there are so many differences of opinions out there and interested to see what people's thoughts were.

So thank you to all those that responded with advice.. I'll take it on board and chill out for a little longer ;-) At least if I wait til next year for this holiday I'll have chance to drop a few pounds :-)

I personally won’t be going near an airport or plane for some time. You also have to think about potentially being ill in a foreign country.

Your husband sounds very sensible.

I cancelled out July holiday as I was concerned even if open it would be a holiday in Spain if pools were shut , half restaurants etc
If I had Oct holiday booked and I could cancel closer I would probably wait to see how things pan out
There may be new cases there may not , ive booked a holiday for next year even this isn't guaranteed but I can't put my whole life on hold forever , have to hope we somehow get this virus under control
But a uk holiday I hope to have even a weekend away if possible , if things get back to a more normal , nothing wrong with hoping it does and having something to look forward to

Staysure insurance is covering for Covid for anyone thinking of travelling.

The sensible thing is to wait and see. We plan to go away but won't book until much nearer the time when we can determine where is properly open (what's the point of travel if everything is closed) or we will go in the winter maybe. Flight time isn't an issue but the lack of sightseeing, restaurants etc is

Op if you book uk as well try to see if with someone who will give money back etc if things change so you don't loose out

I know it’s not flying but p&o have cancelled all their cruises yesterday up til 31st October. It was initially up til the end of July.
I have a friend who works for a travel agent and things are not looking good at the moment. She’s worried for her job.
After being caught up in the thomas cook refund saga myself I’d be very wary of booking anything at the moment.