Can my ex have contact with the children at my home

[firstmentat]

Apologies for being dense, but I cannot quite figure it out for myself.

Due to some circumstances, my ex currently has his (infrequent, say once a month for a couple of hours) contact with the children at my house. I read the guidance and it says it is ok for the children to travel between two households of divorced parents - but on the other hand, it also seems that now there is a explicit ban on visits (I mean it can result in prosecution now, I know it wasn't allowed generally before)?

All joking aside. What age are your children and do they want to see him. Do they benefit from the visits?

Lillian I'm not new but obviously I don't know all of the op's circumstances. I've learned that it is sometimes better to say nothing when I am not privy to all details. It's not up to me what the op does or doesn't do, I just can't imagine not allowing my children's father in my home for a while, that's all but I have no experience of that situation.

It's not up to me what the op does or doesn't do, I just can't imagine not allowing my children's father in my home for a while, that's all but I have no experience of that situation.

I think that people that haven’t been in abusive relationships often find it hard to understand why other women don’t sacrifice themselves on the alter of ‘be nice’ or ‘think if the children’. Happy mums have a better chance of having happy children. Permitting a controlling man to use your home, is permitting them to continue to control and abuse the mother. I would be concerned that he will try to bully the OP into accepting this as normal, even after lockdown.

‘think of* the children’

Op just to say after reading that previously mentioned paragraph in the rules I am now allowing my daughters dad in our home to see her, they haven't seen each other since March as she can not stay at his, she so desperately wants to see him and the way I read that was that it is classed as a reasonable reason to be in the home, so I am now happy to allow him here.

You could be right, Lillian, we don't know the history here. I do know people who have been in that sort of relationship, one young woman springs to mind whose partner actually locked her and their little son in their home. She managed to escape, he is allowed no contact but she spends her life looking over her shoulder even fifteen years later. However most people are not in that situation and manage to reach some sort of accommodation.

Well I suppose the government have made it clear you can interpret the rules however you like - especially when it comes to childcare/child welfare.

Thank you for your thoughts. I am definitely not a victim or bullied into compliance - my ex is hard work, but in this case it is a compromise to make my life easier. It happens very infrequently, of course if it was a weekly occurrence I'd feel very different about it.

Yes, the children (4 and 6) like to see him, he usually brings them treats and gifts - so it is a bit of a "cool uncle" time rather than parenting really. I cannot force him to behave like a proper parent, so it is what it is.