Grandparents, nursery and childcare dilemmas

[Bubblesbubblesmybubbles]

So its now illegal to get grandparents to offer childcare, have I honestly read that right?

We dont want to put DC1 back into nursery yet as we have a newborn DC2, partner will be back at work and I am recovering from a c sec. Parents (healthy!) Have offered to have DC1 for a few hours on my partners 14 hour shift days so i get some rest. It makes sense, all have been getting food deliveries and abiding strictly by lockdown rules.

Its the safest option! But am I right in thinking we can't do this? I know the police have no powers of entry but I'm not usually a rule breaking type. However I need to keep my family as safe as possible including through my c sec recovery and then mental health long term

Parents neighbours are an unknown in terms of busybodyness and whether they would report it

Childminders are open, so as long as your parents aren't vulnerable I don't see why they can't look after your child. You wouldn't be allowed in their house and vice versa, you should hand over at doorway.

Thats fine, happy to throw him across the threshold and retreat!

Anything to avoid nusery as long as is possible to be honest as that just feels like sending him to a guarantee of him bringing illness back to our newborn

I believe the rules only actually prevent overnight stays, but honestly I can't see that being enforced on a toddler at their grandparents. Any time we have been to MILs we have been delivering her food shop, but I have never actually been stopped or seen anyone else stopped by police

I think childcare is covered by 'reasonable excuse'.

The rules are designed to prevent people having parties etc, not punish families who have to work and have no other childcare.

I just saw this on another thread and it maybe the case. Is not being widely reported. Is very confusing to say the least.

I thought grandparents as childcare is allowed as long as you don't mix and match with school / nurseries / child minder. So either of these options is fine.

It's been asked on one of the BBC Q&As and yes they can as long as only one parent enters the carers home. Two people are allowed in everyone's house. I provide childcare for my GC, so I've taken an interest in this.

It's become quite clear that we've got to do a level of thinking and calculating risk for ourselves. Do not blindly follow the rules, if you are all fit and well, especially if it puts your family at a disadvantage, in any way.

If it was good enough for Dominic Cummings...

I've just seen that it's why you recover from a C section. That comes under the Care/Support section of the exceptions. It's been in place during the whole of lock down. It's just some people have revelled in the withdrawal of possible support, others might be offered, so without reading the guidance and watching all the Q&As, they automatically declare things as 'not allowed'.

@Ponoka7 yes initially as c sec recovery but they'd like to longer term while its safer for all (so keep him our of nursery for a while). Glad its been asked on the BBC so i know its clear, DPs job means he can't risk law breaking at all

I'm so confused by the answers you're getting here. Who's told PP that two people are allowed inside your house? That's just made up.

We were told on March 23rd that we were not to use grandparents for childcare. That is why everyone is juggling work and looking after their kids. That rule hasn't changed and I know someone personally who's been fined by the police for co to using to drop her kids with her Mum and go into work.

Whether your need to recover from your op is justifiable for involving your parents is another question (although thousands of us have done it without that help so it's not essential), but say to say no you're not allowed to send them.

@Shelley54 i cannot pick up DC1 for nappy changes etc and she does not come willingly, there is only a small age gap.

Its frustrating as it hands down the safest option for my family however I want to do the right thing!

Common sense needs to be applied in certain situations.

My child has been going to a grandparent for 2 day’s a week since school closed in March so that I can go to work. Grandparent is fit and healthy and under 60. We have had no problems and everyone is happy with the situation.

If you need help and have weighed it up to be the safest option then go with it.

@flowersinthewild yes its a pain when the safest option isn't whats suggested, its so illogical!!

My parents have self isolated near enough to be able to offer the childcare at no risk to us. We could even go as far as getting one food delivery for the 2 houses so reducing risk further. Moving in all together wouldnt work for us all as we like our personal space but its the closest we could get to combining households without doing so

Can someone link to the bbc q&a on this please I can’t find it anywhere..

Ive been trying to find it too @littleren and no luck

@Shelley54

I'm so confused by the answers you're getting here. Who's told PP that two people are allowed inside your house? That's just made up.

We were told on March 23rd that we were not to use grandparents for childcare. That is why everyone is juggling work and looking after their kids. That rule hasn't changed and I know someone personally who's been fined by the police for co to using to drop her kids with her Mum and go into work.

Whether your need to recover from your op is justifiable for involving your parents is another question (although thousands of us have done it without that help so it's not essential), but say to say no you're not allowed to send them.

The rule has changed actually. It changed when nannies and childminders were allowed to go back to work in May. That means that as long as OP pays her parent a token sum of money every week, then it counts as paid childcare and is permitted.

Ok so its definitely OK if I pay them?? I thought you couldnt pay someone for childcare unless they were registered?? Oh I am SO confused

Sorry I just realised that my last post was wrong. Apparently you can only provide childcare / legally be present in another house if you have a recognised qualification...

@Bubblesbubblesmybubbles

Ok so its definitely OK if I pay them?? I thought you couldnt pay someone for childcare unless they were registered?? Oh I am SO confused

Honestly it’s absurd. You can pay a high risk childminder who is overseeing other children and mixing socially, but not a lower risk parent when you are both self isolating.

Just know within your mind that you are following your parental instincts and safeguarding your physical and mental health, and have them over. I know it’s hard if you’re not a rule breaker but needs must.

@Redolent exactly its insane!! I want to keep my newborn safe but also offer DC1 some fun away from her new sibling

[quote Bubblesbubblesmybubbles]@Redolent exactly its insane!! I want to keep my newborn safe but also offer DC1 some fun away from her new sibling[/quote]
Maybe you can pay your parents a small amount to clean / wash up/ de clutter for you every day?

As far as I’m aware there’s no cleaning qualification...but ready to be proven wrong.

@Redolent you are a cunning genius, I like it

Here are the new regulations - these are actual law, not guidelines, and came into force yesterday.

www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/558/pdfs/uksi_20200558_en.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjYrv-Z4eLpAhV_ShUIHbWLALAQFjAAegQIAxAC&usg=AOvVaw0H6U6Wj9w0lFYjW-Cr_2NA

(It's a PDF download)

The relevant bit here is the new Regulation 7 (d), which contains the exceptions to the rule that no gatherings of 2 or more are allowed indoors. One of those exceptions is "for the purposes of early years childcare provided by a person registered on
the Early Years Register under Part 3 of the Childcare Act 2006" - but if you look at the Childcare Act 2006 you'll see that the meaning of "childcare" actually excludes care provided by a grandparent or other relative. The start of the new Regulations says that "childcare" in the new Regulations has the same meaning as in the Childcare Act 2006.

I guess the above is why the Independent ran with this story yesterday: www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/coronavirus-laws-dominic-cummings-lockdown-childcare-relatives-a9542381.html

However Regulation 7(d) also says you can have gatherings of 2 or more people indoors where reasonably necessary for work or volunteering purposes. There is also an exception for caring for vulnerable people.

@89balloons so they're somewhat contradictory? Its all madness