DC’s starting to struggle now - any advice please?

[Littlemiss74]

I have ds 12 & dd 8 who won’t be going back to school until September. I think it’s really starting to affect them now. DD is so sad. She misses her little group of friends and her teachers. She loves going to school. She is getting all the home learning done by midday every day sometimes earlier. She’s been so good getting on with it mostly by herself as I am working and dh is helping ds as he is getting loads of work set and needs supervision or he will just disappear!

DS’s behaviour has changed in the past two weeks. He is moody, at times quite angry, rude and defiant. He does have a lot of school work but apart from that he just wants to go on xbox and phone and we have let him as it’s now the only social interaction he’s getting. I’m think his challenging behaviour is a mixture of his age and lockdown but it’s causing a lot of upset in this house.

We do make sure we get out for a walk every day and this helps but I am reluctant to do much else yet as I am in the vulnerable category.

Today my dd spent hours by herself and then said mummy I just really want to go to school. I do work more hours on a Monday so can spend more time with her on the other days but I’m starting to be at a loss what to do actually do with her. We’ve done lots of home activities but I think she just wants to go out places now and is so bored of being at home.

We have another 3 months of this and I’m starting to get concerned for all our states of mind.

I know there must be lots of others in the same boat and so I wondered if anyone had any advice or suggestions and we could help each other through this?

It's all up in the air @CrowdedHouseinQuarantine. The govt has said it wants all primary pupils back before the summer, but the rules that schools are having to implement make it almost impossible if DC have to be in groups of no more than 15. Most classes are approx. 30 and where will all the extra classrooms come from? There's an article in today's Times saying how it's impossible for most schools to do that. Plus, there is no date of return for years 2, 3, 4 and 5 and seemingly no plan for making it happen.

www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/coronavirus-safe-return-of-all-primary-school-pupils-will-be-impossible-cnsjdbgw7

My almost 8yo has been struggling too. We have been doing Video calls with one friend where the other parent and I have set up a little activity, like they take it in turns to ask quiz and answer quiz questions etc to give them some focus. One day we set the cameras up so they could play sylvanian families in their rooms side by side so they could talk about what they were doing. We also bought her a Nintendo switch and animal crossing as an early birthday present, she plays online with her friend and they visit each other's islands and send text messages through the game. Sometimes we set up so they can play whilst on FaceTime. She's been writing notes and we've been posting them through letter boxes then standing back and waving and having a little chat from 2 metres away.

Thanks for all replies. I’ve made contact with a couple of parents and suggested possibly meeting up in the park socially distancing so will see what they say. Another difficult morning, trying to get ds to concentrate and not terrorise dd!

Hi @Littlemiss74. Your post really resonated with me. My DS(15) appears to be coping really well all things considered. He’s got himself into a good routine of school work in the morning, Xbox in the afternoon/evening (when he hooks up with friends) plus some exercise and music practice. He’s met up with a friend for skateboarding (at a distance) a couple of times and that has had a noticeable improvement on his mood. My DD(12) is finding it much harder and has been very up and down. She’s struggled with the volume of schoolwork and the independent learning, and I‘m limited in how much help I can give as I’m meant to be working from home (as is DH). She seems adrift from most of her friends, particularly (as others have also pointed out) since she was only just settling into high school and a lot of her friendships are not well established. I’ve tried to encourage her to phone friends but she says she finds it too difficult and doesn’t know what to say to them . She does message friends (easier than speaking), and spends far too much time playing Roblox. I have let this go to some extent as I think it allows her to ‘escape’ from things and also she often joins up with her cousin in the game while chatting on the phone. I think it’s easier for them to communicate when engaged in some sort of joint activity, rather than just calling for a general chat.
I’ve suggested arranging to meet up with a friend in the park but she’s really not keen at all. I really worry about how this is affecting her confidence and how she will cope when they are allowed back to school.
Sorry no helpful suggestions from me but I do sympathise. It’s very hard

I'd second the Zoom calls etc. If you have anytime at all I'd also suggest things like draughts, chess,boardgames, family cycles, games of football, donkey etc and if you can find like someone said, a project, something to be built or made, write a comic book, create a game? Just keep at them, fun fun fun kind of thing (and then let off to Xbox!!)

My children are playing way too much roblox..it seems to be the only thing they are interested in. They are becoming more and more disinterested in any school work and we struggle to enforce it as working. It is a rubbish situation for the kids and I worry about the long term effects of this. So unnecessary in my view..

Oh and have to add the odd nerf fight/water fight is great as a mood picker upper!!