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vulnerable but not shielding

6 replies

bloodyc · 30/05/2020 19:01

Hi all
I had a letter from my consultant early April. I am classed as moderate risk and vulnerable because i have Crohn's and am on immune suppressants. The letter was really daft and said i should stay away from the people i live with (husband and 2 little kids) and use separate bathroom, bed etc but that i could go for walks and I could go out to go shopping. It was from my crohn's consultant who knows my situation but the letter was very generic. I suppose they don't know whether my husband is a key worker, goes out shopping etc.

Since March (12 weeks total now) me and my whole family have been isolating at home. We walk the dogs and go out for exercise once a day. I initially stayed at home but my youngest got a bit agraphobic and anxious when one of us took the dogs out so we decided it was better to go out. We never really saw anyone and didn't go anywhere where we needed to touch anything like gates etc. We get sainsbury's delivered once a week. I have been into hospital twice for infusions and my husband took my son to the GP once for his pre school booster vacs. Thats it regards going out. We wash anything thats delivered. Weve had amazon deliveries and 2 takeaways delivered.

My letter never gave any dates (like the 12 weeks some people have been told). So now i am left in limbo.

Its harder to go for a quiet walk now. We live in a small village but still see more people and people seem to have given up social distancing. All around me are grandparents hugging grandkids. I haven't seen my parents since lockdown and would love to see them but they go out alot. They do have a mask but my mum goes shopping 3 times a week and sees my sister who hasnt been following the rules so i wont risk it. I think they are scared of giving me covid too as they havent been pushing for a visit and usually we see them every fortnight and they adore their grandchildren.

My youngest isnt going to nursery on Monday. My oldest isnt in the year groups to go back. I lost my job a few weeks ago so no work to go to and my husband can easily work from home.

So do we just carry on as we are for another month? I do feel lock downs being eased too soon and people are going a bit mad now seeing everyone but im concerned im so paranoid about getting near someone i cant make a rational decision. Im finding it harder to isolate now seeing everyone else isnt. We are all bored so risked a takeaway (delivered) on Friday just for a change.

What is everyone else doing who is vulnerable and has a letter from their consultant but not on the shielded list (i did originally get food parcels etc). I got an automated call the other day from the government saying they were phoning me as im on the 12 week isolation list and they were checking if i needed food etc. But no ones told me im on the 12 week isolation list?

The plan is to sit tight until end June and see what advice I am given then. But im being made to feel a bit like an anxious wreck because everyone else is meeting friends for a walk and i wont.

OP posts:
pinkpip100 · 30/05/2020 19:15

Hi @bloodyc, not much advice to give I'm afraid but just wanted to empathise. My dd(6) is vulnerable due to several factors, initially we were shielding her despite not being on the list, because we weren't sure exactly how vulnerable she was, but in the end (around 3 weeks ago) we did receive a shielding text for her, although not the letter that was supposed to follow, and were added to the lists for priority shopping delivery slots etc. We do go out for walks 3-4 times per week, because we all really need to get out, and we have recently let her siblings meet up with 1 friend outside for a walk/chat/bike ride - always socially distanced. Our shielding dd is not able to understand social distancing, so sadly we can't do the same for her. Two of our children are in the year groups due to go back either next week or 15th June - year 6 dd isn't going back, year 10 ds it will depend on specific arrangements and infection rates etc by then. I am wfh and dh is currently furloughed, though he may be back in work soon.
It does feel really hard to hear everyone else's plans to meet up, have barbecues etc, when we still feel stuck in limbo - and I really worry about our other dc feeling resentful that they can't have the freedom their friends are getting.
My worry is that we will need to continue shielding dd into Autumn - I have no idea how we would handle that in terms of school, work etc. It all just feels so uncertain.

bloodyc · 31/05/2020 14:44

pinkpip100 That sounds like a very challenging situation you have. Dont worry about the older children though and missing out because going out with friends in a socially distanced way is all anyone is allowed to do anyway. And they will want their sibling safe too.

I see theres been an update for shielded people but still nothing for the vulnerable. At times i feel im making a mountain out of a molehill but then when i think about going out im actually scared. Its definitely getting harder to sit tight whilst the whole world seems to be heading back to normal.

I lost my job a few weeks ago. I am applying for jobs and if i get an interview or a job where I have to go to an office I will go. I really need a job for my MH. I hate this hiding away and I have to admit i have felt sorry for myself at times. How did i end up one of the sick people? I was a tough cookie until I hit 37 and then it all went to shit. I have too much time to go over that as well and it brings it home more that i am different when everyone else seems able to be normal. Sorry a bit of a wo is me moment.

OP posts:
PineappleUpsideDownCake · 31/05/2020 14:58

If you had the call from the gov and asked about food (if you'd said no, you'd have got the box delivered) then it sounds like you're on a shielding list. Also access to sainsburys slots was limited to those shielding.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 31/05/2020 15:00

Ah see you originally had food parcels. They didn't do those for vulnerable, just shielded.

Zem74 · 31/05/2020 15:19

@bloodyc your situation is identical to mine.

I also have crohns (well controlled, in remission) and take azathioprine. Got govt letter back in March/April to shield for 12 weeks but I believe this was blanket advice to anyone on aza, IBD nurse told me that my dosage and fact that disease is in remission makes me moderate risk.
I’ve got a DD aged 2 and DD aged 5 at home , husband wfh anyway and I’m SAHM
We’ve been taking girls out for walks in the fields/woods etc a couple of times a week, I’ve seen my parents at a distance in their gardens a few times but other than that not had any exposure.
I’ve probably been over cautious seeing as I’m only moderate risk, but DD is going back to school 1 day per week as of this week. I feel she really needs some structure/interaction back in her life so am running the risk associated with that. Youngest won’t be going back to preschool though as she has no concept of hygiene/distancing Wink

IAmReportingYouForBBQing · 31/05/2020 15:27

I have RA and other auto immune stuff and am on biological injections. I am supposed to be shielding but I'm also bipolar and isolation is very bad for me. My sister and I isolated together in separate houses and still mixed between the two houses as I am also a carer for her son who has serious developmental delays and her son who is autistic.

Note it's all being eased, We have just carried on what we are doing and will be going into the future. We go shopping together once or twice a week when it's very early in the day to reduce the risk as it's quiet. I am very careful anyway as I get sick easily so have always washed trolley handles and avoided touching my face etc when out, masks are new though. We mix together with our kids and nobody else up close. Today my eldest daughter is coming around and sitting in the garden and we will both be wearing masks and she won't be coming. This is our new normal now.

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