If two people have totally self isolated for 14 weeks ...

[whatsbesthere]

When they meet up should they still social distance?

My mum and my grandad . Both have shielded themselves (not by letter, but out of fear) since the beginning of March . They’ve not met or seen anyone since then . All shopping delivered etc . I’m living with DM just now to help her as she has MH issues and so do I .

Grandad almost 90, deaf, very old now and has had a horrendous 14 weeks alone and not wanting us round . This morning said could we come past, we did but didn’t socially distance after a few minutes . He said he needed a hug, couldn’t hear us from two metres away very lonely and tired and common sense would tell me there was probably zero chance of any of us having the virus .

So we did hug ... and had a lovely afternoon in the garden .

I’m now home and wondering if I should have ‘allowed’ that (they’d have done it anyway), I can’t see the harm and as neither could have the virus and neither will be seeing anyone else ... surely it’s very, very low risk? Whereas MH on both sides a huge risk already . I’m not sure .

You say 'we'. Does that mean you hugged him too?
Are you shielding? If not, and you live with your Mum, she isn't shielded either.

But it's done now, so don't beat yourself up. Just bear in mind the above questions if it arises again.

Yes, I did and yes I’ve isolated with mum - impossible not to . We have had all shopping delivered contact free etc, no other way of doing it as don’t drive, and haven’t been to see anyone else, even chemist etc been delivered

It's not totally risk free but in terms of the risk we all face from this it is very very very far down the line and it terms of other things that could make him ill it is insignificant.

Don't worry about it at all.

If all 3 of you have self isolated properly then you haven't put him at risk.

Could he move in with you guys?

I did suggest that at the beginning, but wouldn’t work apparently . Would have been easier in some ways .

Thank you, that’s made me feel a good bit less anxious and guilty !

You do have to weigh up the meaning of life and the rules, and sometimes they don' sit well together. If I could do what you did with my family I would in a heartbeat.

I can totally see why you would do that.

The thing that’s preventing me from doing the same is that I would be terrified that if my loved one got CV and died I would blame myself. Even if it turned out to be something else. I’m just terrified for my older relatives. I get my own shopping and go out walking so I’d be the risk factor if they never leave the house.

If you have all been in isolation there is zero risk.

And also remember the actual risk even if you catch it is very low. Even for a 90 year old the odds are well in his favour.

Whereas, realistically he is in his last years and it's heartbreaking for those to be lonely and miserable ones.