Anxiety really getting to me - anyone else? What can I do?

[Littlemiss74]

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I keep getting anxious and it’s affecting my mood, my sleep and my concentration and my interaction with my family.

I received a letter in April advising to shield but after talking to my Dr he agreed I don’t need to at the strictest level, can go for walks but to be careful around people. Now things are returning to normal I feel anxious. I don’t feel like I want to see lots of people but I know my dc’s are fed up with lockdown and I feel bad for them.

My mind is in overdrive. I am almost obsessed with reading about every aspect of the crisis. I spend far too much time looking for the latest news on social media and the tv. It’s like I’m addicted.

I have some days off work this week for half term but as we can’t really go anywhere I’m restless and my thoughts are in overdrive. I have loads I could be doing at home but I can’t focus. I feel even worse when I don’t achieve anything.

I also seem to have anxiety about my health and every little thing plays on my mind, this morning it’s a mild nose bleed!

My dc’s are not in the year groups returning to school yet which I am relieved about but also worried for their mental health. DS 12 is getting really moody & angry at times and dd8 misses school and has been having more tantrums.

I wanted to use the time at home to improve myself, diet, exercise etc but have not done so. If anything I’ve put on weight and have eaten more biscuits than ever before! Comfort eating. I feel like I never have time alone to do any exercise videos, there is always someone there wanting something.

I know many people are worse off. My Dad has had the virus and thank god seems to have recovered but we thought we may lose him at one point. We can’t visit him as he’s in a home. I miss him so much and he won’t know why we haven’t been to see him in weeks.

I wish I could feel better but I can’t seem to switch off the negative feelings. I’m worried how my frame of mind might affect my family as it looks like we’re going to be like this for another 3 months.

I just wondered if anyone had any advice or has felt similar. What did you do/are you doing?

As a fellow sufferer I urge you to contact your GP.
Please take the anti-anxiety meds if they are prescribed, they have changed my life.

Your reactions aren’t wrong, just overwhelming. Meds will calm you and allow you to address your worries in a more rational way

I do feel for you, I get in a right pickle sometimes but far less frequently than before

Thank you IamEarthymama may I ask what the meds are called that you take? I was given propranalol a long time ago. Do you take them every day or just when you need them?

Definitely seek some medical support but also look for methods to distract yourself. Is there anything you can get lost in? Music, reading even games of some description (I’m thinking sudoku or crosswords but anything - those addictive match three games are pretty good or something like sims maybe). Just something to allow your brain a break.

A psychologist explained the ‘news watching’ thing to me as this; your brain is having frightening and negative thoughts about the virus . Sometimes when you watch/read the news you get a glimmer of good news, or you feel slightly reassured by what they’re saying, or more in control of what’s happening next . But that feeling of relief doesn’t last long, the anxiety comes back, so you go back to the TV/Facebook/MN again and it gets into a bit of a cycle . I’ve found myself scrolling mindlessly til 4am !!

Kind of the same as if you have a lump and you prod it and check it and google it etc until you can see a GP .

Told me that the only way you can kind of break it is to live with the thoughts and let them ramble on in the background . Remind yourself that they’re just worries, and not necessarily what will happen or even maybe what is actually happening (your thoughts can exaggerate the threat a bit) . It’s bloody hard but it’s absolutely necessary .

So for example I need to go and see my gran in her garden today, and I know for a wee while I’ll feel scared that I’ve infected her or myself somehow . Realistically the chance is incredibly slim I think - she has been shielding herself (not via a letter) for 13 weeks and as have we (again, no letter) . There’s so little chance of either of us having that virus . I’ll spend the whole time worrying though, and again when we get home ... but need to try and just let that thoughts happen a bit . The more you push worries away the worse they get I think .

Don’t worry about exercise videos or anything ... I was advised back at the beginning of this to just get the basics done . Shower, brush teeth, get dressed into clothes, house relatively clean, eat fruit and veg each day and try to go for a walk somewhere . Same for DC with possible addition of school work . Everything else can wait, or be done when you’re ready - there’s so so much on fb about ‘making memories’ , and massive lifestyle changes, so much pressure but all you need is the basics .

Definitely try and get some sort of NHS support, we have specific MH services for covid19 , I think that might be a bit unique to my area but ask GP surgery first - there does seem to be a lot of help out there .

I feel that the UK news media deliberately created a sense of fear and confusion around the pandemic to get people to adhere to lock down. It seems to have had the desired outcome, but it has left a lot of us with a hangover of anxiety. Other countries like Spain and Italy do not consume as much TV as the UK so it was difficult to inspire the same sense of fear and it became necessary to impose very draconian lock downs with strong police/military presence in those countries. So it's completely to be expected that you feel anxious by what you are read and hear in the media. I became ill back in March with what I believe was C-19 and i was definitely googling way too much, trying to find the reassurance I desperately needed, but only reading negativity. At that time there was still a lot of unknowns around the virus and many, many articles and scientific papers were being released, as well as all the horrific personal stories. At one time, I actually convinced myself that I had caught the respiratory version of HIV after reading an article in the Daily Mail about how scientists had discovered the virus destroying T-cells (the immunity cells that are supposed to destroy pathogens). I concluded that I was going to die in 10-20 years time and what should I do to make the most of my time! Anyway, I fully recovered and my fears around the virus disappeared, only to be replaced by deep, deep fears of economic collapse....
Anyway, I'm rambling. Basically, you need to 1/stop consuming news media, or limit it to half an hour per day. Also, 2/ check out interviews by scientists and doctors that present a more optimistic and reassuring view. I like Prof. Knut Wittkowski , Prof Johan Giesecke and Prof Karol Sikora. Honestly, these two things really helped.
I practice loving kindness meditation and gratitude daily because it is very difficult to experience negative emotions if you are filled with positive ones. You can also keep a diary. The simple act of putting your thoughts into words is helpful, and by the same token, so is talking about your feelings to someone you trust.
Exercise or just going for a walk in the park will get you out of your head for a short while, as will watching a funny movie or doing a hobby you enjoy. Or do you have project you can work on?
Finally, eat a balanced diet with plenty of magnesium and avoid stimulants like coffee.
Hope it helps.

I have no advice for you Littlemiss but you aren't alone! I have been incredibly anxious, some very, very irrational thoughts that I just can't shift. I am lucky to have been off work as I live with my dad who is over 70 and was shielding because of that. Now we're coming out of lockdown, he is allowed to go out and I am going back to work part-time.

I have limited how much news I watch, snoozed any news outlets on FB and try to stay in my own little bubble as much as possible. I've watched a lot of Netflix. I've had days when I've hardly gotten out of bed. I've had good days too tho. And like you say, there are people worse off. I have to remind myself of this all the time.

That being said, the random, totally crazy thoughts still appear. My hands are absolutely raw with washing.... they are now a completely different colour to my arms and covered in tiny cuts.

I am starting to look back on this and am regretful that I haven't handled it better. I wish I'd done more, perhaps some DIY or learnt something new. The only good thing is because if my anxiety I've lost weight!

Like I say, I have no real advice for you. But you aren't alone.

xx

I don’t have any words of wisdom about how to deal with the anxiety itself but in terms of keeping yourself informed about what is going on I would suggest you limit exposure to UK media and dip in and out of world media. You’d get a better overview. Choose one UK point of information (Sky? - anything you like) then try and find some news channel from other countries like Germany, Japan, Australia, Canada everywhere you think they have a free press. Limit social media or ditch it altogether.
Set aside an hour each day for yourself to get fresh air, listen to an inspiring story or debate (Ted talks, YouTube, podcasts they are full of interesting stuff) about anything you enjoy or know about as a topic or about something completely new to you. Try and look beyond your immediate health worries, beyond the supermarket shop, beyond irritating local news just take a broader view of the world. It helps to contextualise the situation.

You're not alone. I've had the same issues with concentration (a lot of friends and family are the same, I think that's probably quite a normal thing), a few weeks of problems sleeping, and of trying to keep up with all the news, to feel like I had some control somehow I think. I've also comfort-eaten quite a bit. :-(

But in the last couple of weeks, I've been switching off the news for as many hours as possible and just catching up once a day. I've been trying to spend time with the family where I switch off, or throw myself into my work without stopping to check social media. I've also found time in the garden doing practical things helps. And I know I'm lucky to have a garden. I haven't always.

Anything you can really immerse yourself in can help. That's different for everyone but it could be reading a good book or dancing about to music, or a tv series, or trying to learn an instrument or language, anything where your brain has to shut out all the daily stuff.
Also, it can help to keep reminding yourself that you can't change how the virus behaves, or how others behave, or what the government does (although I've found also that writing emails to my MP over specific concerns or signing petitions does feel like I've 'done' something, so can stop worrying too). Otherwise, that's all out of your control, so you can let that go and not worry about it.

I hope you find something that works for you.

Something recommended to me was the thought train’. So the things that make you anxious - whatever they are - you know what the thoughts are and where thinking about them takes you, right? Now I make a choice not to get on the train. The thoughts arrive In my head and I choose to let them go past ... and don’t get on the train to the destination.
It’s obviously not perfect, but I find having some control over the arrival of the thoughts both lessens the anxiety and gives me a sense of strength.
I probably haven’t explained it very well but I hope it’s of some help.

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions. I am going to start by trying not to check the news as much as I have been. I just feel restless all the time and think oh I’ll just have a quick look but then it feeds my anxiety I think.

I think I need to try and get some time to myself each day. Much as I love my family we are on top of each other all the time and I find this difficult at times. When we were only allowed at once a day for exercise this would always be all of us together so I never got any alone time. I think I need some alone time as otherwise I end up irritable with everyone.

Where would I find podcasts? Is this via an app? I’d like to try this.

I really need to make more effort with healthy eating and exercise. I think it’s a vicious circle, feeling rubbish, comfort eat and little exercise leads to feeling more rubbish.

It’s just the thought of another 3 months like this that gets me down. I know I need to try and be more positive to get through it but making positive changes just seems so overwhelming when feeling like this. I will try though.

There’s an app called Podcasts and another one called Ted Talks. You can search by topic of interest (beauty, health, literature, politics, economy, crime etc) and you get various results. Trial and error at first until you find something you like. Or google top podcasts about Gardening for ex them search for them in the app. You find a title you like and download past episodes and you can set it to update new episodes as well. It had its own issues - I will never listen to all my favourites in 5 lifetimes there are too many. Some are discussions, some are in news format some are stories. And you can listen whilst you do housework, cooking, going for a walk, brushing teeth etc.
You absolutely need time alone, even 15min every day.

Oh thank you Branster I will definitely have a look at podcasts. I love things like that and it might motivate me to get some house stuff done if I play them whilst doing stuff. I have listened to some Ted talks in the past and really enjoyed them.

Me too! I feel like I’m doing something for myself whilst also being productive doing boring chores. Sometimes I listen to audio plays on youtube.