Mums do most chores & childcare in lockdown

[okycoky17]

This is the title of a report on the BBC website this morning. Here's the link:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-52808930

I certainly agree with this from my perspective - I've got two DS, one aged 6 and the other 18 months. Whilst my husband continues working very set hours each day, dedicating his focus to one thing (his work) I am working, looking after the kids, thinking about meals, food shopping, tidying, washing. I would say I probably average just under a third of work-time compared to DH.

I think lockdown has shown that when push comes to shove women prioritize children and the home environment and men focus on their jobs. Women also try to focus on work, but in a crisis their priority clearly falls elsewhere. I guess the reasons for this are biological - we're programmed by years of human evolution to respond to our primal instincts.

As my household is all-male (bar me) the feeding process seems to be the most dominant issue. I have to break conference calls to serve lunch, or feed the baby, or sort out dinner. It's not that my DH can't do it so I'm not really sure why women and men seem to fall into these tasks almost by default at a time like this! Good old fashioned nature at play again I guess.

I don’t think it’s just about individual men though, my husband works for a private company who have been utterly unprepared to be flexible to any degree - his choice is literally work set hours or lose your job. I work for a local authority who have been incredibly flexible, so I’ve carried the bulk of childcare during lockdown - from a practical point of view that’s the obvious way forward in our house. If the situation was reversed in terms of employer flexibility then he’d do the bulk of the caring.

He pulls his weight in other ways but his employer’s attitude is what’s put me in the position of primary carer, my husband would happily cover things at home if he had that choice. I don’t think we can separate decisions we make domestically from the wider structural systems that influence those decisions.

Not really a surprise is it?

Not in this house! I'm WFH and DH has been furloughed so he is doing all childcare and cooking (he loves cooking so he's happy with that). I'm still doing my fair share of cleaning and washing and make sure I make time to sit and have meals with them.

It's actually been nice to have roles reversed. I work in a very male dominated industry and they've all been surprised at how I can be at my desk cracking on with work whilst they're wives are having mental breakdowns.

Next week DH goes back to work and DS goes back to nursery, albeit for shorter hours/days so it'll be my turn to juggle again. DH will inevitably have to do bedtimes so I can get on with work.

Same as before lockdown then!

I know lot of female doctors, nurses and pharmacists so actually just counted and most families I know the husbands/boyfriends are working from home, doing childcare, household chores etc. My brother sounds broken (he's in a highly pressurised job with a 2 and 4 year old at home with him, both are bad sleepers.)

Me and DH (both WFH) agreed early on during lockdown that we would formally split homeschooling and childcare responsibilities 50/50.
He also does a fair share of chores.

However, I'm the one who's set up schedules, workflows, supply chains, etc.
I.e. done all the managerial brain work.
I reckon because:

• I'm good at it
• it wouldn't have happened otherwise...

So yeah, men suck a bit at household management. They can be trained, but you need to put your foot down, and they typically lack initiative.

I saw this this morning OP. I did wonder if in other news bears had been found to defecate in forests and the Pope had been confirmed to be Catholic.