Scotland Phase 1 support chat

[Breathmiller]

As we, in Scotland, look to moving into phase 1 of coming out of lockdown in a couple of days, what will change for you? What are you looking forward to? If you are shielding how does that feel, if you can't ease your rules? I imagine that will be hard for you.

I would like to meet up with my adult children in an outdoor space. My only issue is the loo situation. We are too far away, I think, to visit them (they also live in a city in a flat with no outside space). But I think if we both drive halfway to meet outside somewhere neither of us will be travelling too far. How far is too far? We are told to go with our common sense and not go further than we would need to use a loo. But that's obviously different for everyone. They could come to me as I live very rurally on a farm surrounded by woods and fields so a nature wee is not out of the question for them. But I think the journey for them would be pushing it for distance. It can all get quite complicated, cant it?

I also have friends in the nearby village in walkable distance who I look forward to sitting with in their garden at some point, with social distancing of course.

My mother was moved into a nursing home from hospital in lockdown which has taken a huge toll on my father's mental wellbeing. I know that the guidelines say they will look at one designated visitor getting in to some homes but he's understandably worried about that given the situation in a lot of care homes. And to be honest I'm not sure how my mum would manage or understand social distancing with her complex needs. But he is desperate to see her, as we all are. She (and my father) have had a massive upheaval with none of the normal family support that they would have had outside of this situation. We're not sure at this stage if her particular home will allow this at this stage anyway. Which, again is understandable.

3 of us (me and my two children at home) are in the vulnerable category (not shielding), so as much as we are being cautious with that in mind, we are looking forward to the safe easing of restrictions.

If you are in Scotland what are you hoping, if anything, will change for you as we move into phase 1?

I’m also vulnerable, not shielding .

I’m hoping I can see my grandmother, she lives one mile away and at 80 is struggling with the isolation a lot . It would help her if I could go up and change her bed for her at least - she won’t allow me to until Nicola ‘allows’ her to . She’s talking about doing a BBQ at the weekend - yep, I can’t explain why she thinks that’s OK but changing the bed isn’t - but we’ll see , I am very, very wary of doing that despite us (me, my mum, gran) having had zero contact with anyone else for weeks now .

I think that’s the only change we’ll have . Shopping still all delivered , meds delivered by local community group .

Dsis lives 6 miles away in residential with autism, her carers are saying ??September before we can see her ... That’s very hard to cope with .

My issue is also the toilet problem, I have bladder issues so need to catheterise - because there’s no toilets anywhere now I can’t go out for long at all !! I did think about if I needed my granny’s loo she has two different doors, and two bathrooms - one that goes totally unused and is right next to the also unused front door ... surely I could use the front door and that toilet whilst my gran out of the house ... I dunno .

I’m just desperate to be able to do normal stuff . Just to go to the chemist, or pop to gran’s for a cup of tea, or visit my sister ...

We are planning to meet in laws half way for a walk (about 30 min drive). We are rural, so everything is a bit of a drive.

I hadn't even thought about toilet stops. The kids are young enough to get away with a pee behind a tree if it comes to it.

Looking forward to garden visits with friends.

lesbihonest

I'm sorry to hear about your sister. That sounds very hard. Does she's have an understanding of why you can't visit her?

We have sadly lost my mum to a world of dementia through this time and she has no understanding why we can't visit. We can speak to her for a moment or two over facetime but it's not really coherent. She really needs us to just sit with her. It's very sad. We didn't even get to see the home, or help her settle in. I do hope you get to see your sister soon.

Im not surprised your gran is confused. It can be pretty confusing. I know a friend of mine is her mum's carer and still goes to change her bed and help her with stuff she can't manage on her own. I'm sure that is still within guidelines under an unofficial caring role. I wonder if there is something official "from Nicola" that your Gran would accept?

CaptainMerica yes that would be about our halfway drive , 25-30 minutes. I like hiking in the hills so I'm not shy at peeing behind bushes but it depends how busy it is. We can't all be peeing behind trees in the local park for instance. .

What are people's feelings on maintaining 2m distance with toddlers. I have 2 year old twins and if we have a visitor to the garden then I'm struggling to see how they could manage this. I also have a 4 year old who could probably manage it. I would love for my mum to visit our garden in phase 1.

sparkle17 i can't imagine how hard it will be with toddlers.

I have an 8 year old who is the snuggliest thing in the world and can't wait to see his older sisters. I keep telling him to remember that he can't hug them when he sees themand he is so excited to see them but so sad he cant hug them. He usually runs up and is attached to one or the other until they leave again.

To be honest I know that I'm going to find that hard too. So how on earth do you help little ones understand?

If you are in a garden is there a way to make a small 'barrier'. Even if its just a line of tape or something or a small line of bricks or toys. Make it a bit of a game, this is our side and that's Granny's side. Maybe something like that would work for at least the 4 year old?

But I hear you. Its an instinct for us adults to want to go up and hug our loved ones but at least we can rationalise why we can't, so hard for young ones to not just do what they normally do.

I am so looking forward to taking a short drive to take the dogs to our favourite fairly isolated spots- it will clear my head
I am going to start using my own common sense , My very elderly father is currently in hospital and nearly died because of lockdown . I feel terribly guilty that I adhered to the rules by only dropping off shopping and speaking to him on the phone , as if I had seen him I would have taken more action
He was on the phone to his GP practice nearly every day for the past two weeks , prescribed antibiotics , antidepressants over the phone etc. The lack of normal services at GP's is having its own knock on effect on non Covid illness- I will be having short socially distanced visits to his house , with a mask , when he gets out of Hospital-

Many nursing homes have gardens - I don't see why they cannot start short 10 minute garden visits with one relative , in homes that have remained Covid free- it would help residents and relatives so much - September is ridiculous

@pobparker I'm so sorry to hear your dad has been so affected. It's going to take a long time to recover the mental health of a lot of people.

I know that the suggestion was that some homes may open to one designated visitor. Perhaps that will be in the garden. I do hope that the home my mum is in will be one of them and that my dad takes them up on it. He is worried that my mum wouldn't understand social distancing. But to be honest, he has self isolated the whole time and would be more at risk of catching anything from my mum, not the other way round. But he says he is scared he would pass it on if be had it. His mental health has really suffered through this too. And I'm worried about him. But not to the extent your father has been. I do hope he can begin to heal again as we start to see our loved ones again.