Has anyone’s else’s life not really changed?

[BrieAndChilli]

Apart from going to work/kids going to school my life has not changed at all. I never really went out drinking , never went to pub and we probably eat out in a proper restaurant once a year. Don’t go to cinema although DH takes the boys to the latest marvel/Star Wars films do maybe twice a year. I don’t go to the gym or other sports activities, I don’t go to the theatre. We do go on family days out maybe once a month to somewhere further afield and maybe a national trust once a month.
I go to the shops but mainly food/B&M which I am still doing otherwise it’s shopping for kids clothes which I’m not doing or am ordering online. Otherwise my life was taking kids to school, going to work, and taking kids to various activities.
Nobody except DH family has asked me to take part in online quiz/zoom chat/ other virtual parties, no one has tagged me in post 10 pics of being a mum type posts,
I’ve tree aches out to people and asked how they are doing, dropped schooltopic related crafts parcels round to some of DS2 friends. I get a couple of messages back but no-one is the first to text me.
I think I’ve realised that I’m alsways the one helping people out with childcare, making cakes for thier kids parties, giving advice etc but actually I’m not top of anyone’s list. And that actually my life (and by default me?) am pretty boring.
Even the kids moan when I ask them to play a board game with me or watch a film.

I’m with you op. I’ve been furloughed and have realised that all my day to day chats are with work colleagues but none are social friends so no zoom calls or anything. Haven’t heard from work in weeks - pretty sure they’re going to make me redundant. Have no friends that I meet for coffee or pub or anything. My dc are secondary and don’t need my help with school stuff and then jump on calls with friends. They look at me as if I have 2 heads if I suggest doing something together. My mum tells me she’s been on 3 or 4 calls a day with her friends and it’s so exhausting for her we only speak once a week. My mil is the same. Dh is a loner and there are a few issues in our marriage that he refuses to talk about. I’m pretty miserable to be honest because I’ve realised I’ve got nothing and worse still it’s always been like this except for going to work and ferrying people around. An old acquaintance died of Covid the other week and all the lovely things that people said made me consider that if I died nobody would really notice.

@WalesStar

Not everyone wants to be out doing things all the time. Most of the things on your list I wouldn't enjoy, for example I hate sports, would never go to a gym, and hate scary rides at theme parks! (Although yes I did take my DC on occasion when they were kids). I fill my free time with things like spending time in the garden, reading, numerous crafts, gaming, I'll often have some DIY project or some decorating on the go. If I want a chat I'll talk to my Dsis or adult DC. I have loads to occupy my time.

@WalesStar never really did any of those things you listed. Very limited budget. Cinema as a birthday treat for Dd once per year, couldn’t afford to eat out more than a couple of times a year or join a gym, museums once in a blue moon as when you add up travel/lunch (even budgeting for taking something from home, I’d have to add extra to normal shopping for that, again, strict budget so it would mean the adults probably skipping a main meal) something else essential always cropped up that needed to be paid for. No proper friends to invite round and Christ, never been able to pay the price to get into a theme park!

My life was very small, shit and boring due to money anyway so this hasn’t been a change at all.

@WalesStar
I find this quite strange, does that mean you never went to the cinema, restaurants, theatre, sports events, swimming, gym, concerts, art galleries, exhibitions, museums, cafes, theme parks, national trust type places, friends/families houses or had people over??? How did you spend your free time before lockdown?

Cinema - DH took boys once or twice a year for starwars/marvel but anything else we watch until it comes out on NOW TV as cinema would be £35 for the 5 of us even if we took our own snacks where as now TV is £10 a month.

Restaurants - a meal out even in a chain pub would be upwards of £50 as kids too old for kids meals now! Can’t justify spending that much very often. I can cook better than a chain pub so if I went out I’d want a lovely meal which would be £100+

Theatre again expensive £40 a ticket more if it’s something popular. Theatres are 45-60 minute drive away

Cafe - might go to one sometimes but we normally takes a packed lunch with us on walks etc. Sometimes a cup of tea.

theme parks - we might go once a year maybe if get cheap tickets.

national trust type places, We go about once a month but kids are bored of local ones

friends/families houses - nope. Families live 200 miles away and like I said no one ever invites me over

had people over - our house is a hovel but as rented we can’t afford to spend money on a new kitchen/bathroom/carpet etc that isn’t ours. So I don’t invite people over anymore as too embarrassed

We go to museums occasionally but as don’t live anywhere near London we have done local ones to death.

Can’t justify spending 50-100 pounds on a single concert ticket!

I’d get my hair cut once a year, never had my nails down or my eyebrows or go to a spa etc

DH has a chronic health condition. We didn't get out much pre-lockdown. We don't get out at all now, but on the other hand there is some time at weekends when he is fairly human that we can enjoy; in normal times, weekends are his recovery time and paid employment Mon to Fri gets priority for his energy. WFH with flexible hours is obviously less draining than commuting and puutting on his office face (ie masking the chronic pain he is often in). So good changes in that respect.
I am WFH 5 days a week but I always did so 2 or 3 days a week so just a question of scale.

The big change is having no childcare for DS. That is huge.

Currently my work sector (leisure) is shut and I went self employed at the wrong time really so not even £200 a month coming in which has been worrying me however, during lockdown, I have managed finally to end a long-term non-cohabiting but abusive and destructive relationship and that alone is worth all the difficulties. I am hoping to pick up work as soon as possible and just be happier generally. I feel like a released prisoner actually.

I don’t do all of those things and certainly not all the time, but I would have definitely done a few over the past 9 weeks. I enjoy staying in too, it’s just the options have been removed (in Wales so still in full lockdown) ☹️

The only thing I actually really miss is being able to go walking further afield or to castles etc

Mine has not changed I didn't do any of those things really anyway, I'm still going to work and kids are still going to school

Walesstar I never did any of those. My parents would kill me!
How old are you ? why would they get angry at incredbilynormal things like going to the cinema or a cafe?

@DDIJ

I love reading about the things people are missing! I just can't imagine doing them. Things like going out for dinner, going to the hairdresser, going to the cinema. It's like another world. I am sorry for the people who do these things regularly and and are missing them.

This. I literally never go out except work and school runs!

@DDIJ why are you letting your presumably quite elderly parents dictate what you do? Or were you talking about when you were a child not now?

cinema- last went in 2015 (older children have been several times since, dp a couple of times)

restaurants -only for special occasions

theatre- very rare, again only special occasions If especially wanted eg dd asked for Hamilton tickets for Christmas

sports events- does watching ds play football count?

swimming- try to avoid it

gym- I did one yoga class a week (not in a gym) and daily at home yoga which I’m still doing

concerts-nope

art galleries-nope, or only as we wander around st ives on holiday.

exhibitions-nope

museums-once a year maybe

cafes-very very rare, we take a packed lunch or wait til we get home unless on our annual holiday when we might go a couple of times

theme parks- I went to legoland in 2016

national trust type places-couple of times a year

friends/families houses or had people over- few times a year

We don’t do any of those things as a matter of course or on a weekly basis. Lockdown hasn’t been long enough for us to miss them because we’d not usually have done them within that time anyway. Our family/leisure time is basically going for a walk or playing a board game or watching a film at home, all of which we have been able to do!

Lockdown has made me wish we did a bit more fun stuff in our normal life, but dp has been working as usual so absolutely nothing has changed for him and I don’t think he appreciates the impact not going to school/preschool/toddler groups has had on the children. He’s still out of the house six days a week so appreciates the day at home just doing a bit of diy, watching tv, going for a walk etc whereas for the rest of us it’s exactly the same day in day out and I think we’d like to become the fun people who waste money in a cafe on a regular basis

Nothing much has changed for me. I'm still working but on reduced hours and still getting the same pay. My partner is furloughed and enjoying not travelling to work at the moment.

I miss going out into the countryside but hopefully we can go soon. We live near alot of our friends and tend to pass them when out walking. I just miss seeing some of our elderly neighbours who we would see when taking our dog out but hopefully see them soon.

We are both crafty people so that is keeping us busy and currently doing the garden up. Safe to say we are pretty boring people but we'll see everyone for teas/coffees soon enough.

I WFH, now I WFH with kids.

Yep same, plus DH and I both can't wfh so literally nothing has changed.

I’m working as normal, as is DH. We didn’t send the dcs to school as they are old enough that we don’t need it for childcare so it’s just like school holidays but with more homework. I would see friends once or twice a month and my sister 1-2 times a week but I’ve got used to the FaceTime substitute. We couldn’t afford a holiday this year anyway and things like cinema, theatre, museums, national trust which I do enjoy a lot haven’t been absent for long enough for me to really miss them. I could do with a haircut but that’s no different from pre lockdown tbh.
Even though I’m working as normal I have more time as I’m not ferrying the kids about or doing things so I’m gardening and cooking more. I HATE that popping to the co-op has become such a stressful marathon.

Not much has changed for me. The only places I used to go were my sons nursery on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and my nail and eyebrow appointment every fortnight. Obviously I haven't been doing either of those things. In fact I haven't been out the house at all since before lockdown started in March.
Dh has been at home so it's been nice having him here as he works long hours usually.

Not much has changed for me except my gym is closed so I don't get up until 6am instead of 4.45am. Plus I'm not 'allowed' to see my OH who lives 25 miles way and we would normally spend 3-4 nights a week together. Other than that, I've been working full time in the office (actually longer hours as covering the roles of staff on furlough), go to hairdressers once or twice a year so whilst my hair does need cutting, I just put it into a ponytail and carry on. Don't do beauty treatments or meals out or suchlike as I can't afford it. Uni age kids have been at home so have had no privacy or chill time.

I would LOVE a day or two off from work but that's not going to happen for a few months, if then.