Living again will be a shock go the system.

[Iwillhavetea]

Can't sleep again! I nodded off and just like every night since lockdown I wake up again half an hour later. My body is all messed up. I've got kids who won't sleep until 9-10 most nights. No matter what I do the five year old isn't tired until I'm exhausted.

I'm just thinking back over the last two months. It's one big blur of lazy days and random walks. I've tried to fill it with activity to make it feel normal and happy for the kids. But I've hit a wall. I'm out of ideas. I'm tired. I'm irritated. I just can't see where things will improve.

I've choosen not to send DD back to school on June 1st. Purely because the changes are huge. It will be a totally different experience. It's also hard because I don't want her to do six weeks of this and then in September it changes again. Too much for my daughter's personality and age.

I just don't remember how to live anymore. I can't imagine being normal. Going out for a day. Taking the kids to swimming lessons and popping in the shops. Like everyone else. I've not seen my parents for two months. I've seen my best friend once on Friday. We have a milk man and shopping delivered. I have avoided shops 100% but now I don't want to go in them because it's queing and others waiting for you to hurry up.

I'm honestly filled with dread at the thought of early mornings and school runs. I'm dreading autumn and winter. All the viruses are going to be much scarier this year. Will our kids be allowed in with snotty noses this winter.

I even have been thinking of Christmas. Wondering if it will be a normal happy time.

I just worry we won't remember how to live soon.

Op, start now, and go as far as current advice will allow. Go for walks or bike rides morning & evening. Meet up with a friend from outside the household. As more shops open, gradually go to more of them. Go to the garden centre. Wean yourself back into normal life as far as you can. It will be help you both

The scared of men thing is quite common in girls of that age to be fair my mum and one sister had it despite both having loving dads. They both grew out of it!

I just worry we won't remember how to live soon.

You will.

Remember how all this was hard to adjust to, but now you have? Well you'll adjust again as things open up again.

Some people will be ready to hit the ground running; others will ease into it slowly. And it may be slightly different world you'll be going back to.

But you'll learn to live in it. Really, you will.

I can’t wait to go back to work but think it will be a real shock to the system. I work in a special school but haven’t been in for 10 weeks as my childcare doesn’t work with my hours. Life has slowed down so much and getting back to normal pace will be weird.

It’s impossible to see through the lies.... I wouldn’t be so worried but am obese through immobility and quite sure I’ll be in the shit if get this

No idea why she is scared of strange men. She has Grandads. She has an uncle who's a farmer. She has a dad. She has a best friend who's a boy and walks home with his grandad in the school term.

No I'm not sending her back. We have already confirmed with the school and they may not be opening anyway if they can't staff it. The need 4 teachers just for my daughter's class. All split into seperate rooms. Her teacher who she can't wait to see again has asthma.

Sorry the post was negative to many of you. That was kind of the point. I will try and be more like you guys and less negative.

It's normal for children at this age to be scared of men. Plus in a four year olds eyes men are not not as easy to relate to compared to a lady who has a softer voice and wears dresses or makeup for example. I think that's the issue. She can't relate to men. Her Grandads are both manly men and she doesn't particularly like my partner's dad. But that's because he isn't any good with kids and isn't fun. He smiles and says hello. That's about it. Sure she will be fine!

It feels scary but you will adapt. Humans are made to adapt. My Mum was a child in Poland during WWII. My grandparents were a bit anxious types apparently before the war but managed to get back to a relatively normal life after 4 years of hell. Followed by 50 years of communist rule. They made a life for themselves even though it was hard.
I don't want to sound harsh but it's up to you to deal with it. My grandfather always used to point out little things like a lovely flower or a funny cloud. After he did i mentioned this to my Mum and he also he always had and he told her as a child to look for the little things and get pleasure when you can. This was a very gentle bookish man who had been forced to oartake in the epicentre of war.
This virus is a new risk but life is full of risks. You have to make a decision to pull yourself together and realise it might be different but day to day will be manageable I too have anxiety but am forcing myself to put in perspective. As for the kids unless you project your fear on them theu will accept the changes at school very quickly.

I had an awful routine when I was at university in my mid twenties.
As soon as I got a job afterwards it pretty much sorted itself out overnight.
Us humans are super adaptive.

It's normal for children at this age to be scared of men. Plus in a four year olds eyes men are not not as easy to relate to compared to a lady who has a softer voice and wears dresses or makeup for example. I think that's the issue. She can't relate to men.

Is it? Dresses and make up? . Cripes. And no, we have been going out still because it's not good to be couped up unless very high risk.

I think you should start getting back into life by going to your nearest large Sainsbury's and leaving the DC with your partner. Ours is very calm and regulated. On weekdays I queue for about 3 mins. Once inside the aisles are uncrowded. You do have to be targeted and efficient and not backtrack much in order to keep the socially distanced flow going.. But it's not stressful at all because people are courteous and the aisles are pretty empty.
Take the DC on bike rides to tire them out. Have a socially distanced walk with a friend in your local park.
Your daughter might like to see her friends and have other stimulation for 6 weeks. But I have seen you already turned down the place.
How far are your parents? If not far, why not go without the DC to see them from 2m at the door?

It's no more normal for little girls to be scared of men (unless an adult has put the idea into their heads or they have had reason to be scared) than it is for adults to think that "normal" women have soft voices and wear dresses.

I came onto this thread to say you'll be amazed at how quickly you get back to being in the real world - here in Italy in my region most people are back to work, the kids have been doing lessons online since 16th March so are whinging like good'uns that they can't wait for school to finish etc etc.

But the men-hating DD kind of put me off my stride.

What a strange outlook! Men are big and scary, women are soft and nice and wear make up and dresses??? Most children are scared of men???

I am a SAHM so my days havent really changed hugely TBH! I still go shopping to my nearby Sainsburys ,We queue as they only let a set number of people in at once ,when in not so many people so easier to distance .I think your DD if she was happy at School will resume back in September quite easily really ,children adapt well .As far as a male Teacher goes some are good ,some not so good just like female Teachers!Try not to stress (not easy I know)

Some really odd ideas on this thread.

I think it must be very easy to get into a little protected bubble and be worried about going back to “life”. If you try and ease yourself out of the bubble as lockdown eases so go and meet your friend when possible and go to the supermarket. Try and let the “life” back in in steps.
I’ve been working the whole time in care and although I was scared stiff initially I’ve now seen so much of Covid-19 and seen lots of people get it and recover I’m less terrified and almost blasé about it.
Both outlooks are a bit skewed so we both need to find that sensible cautious but realistic middle ground.

I think it would do your dd the world of good to have a male teacher op. Does she ever spend time alone with a man?

Just to add OP there used to be a kid in reception when I was a TA who had anxiety and she was also scared of men to the point of booting out the dinner hall if the deputy head came in. In Y1 she had a male teacher and absolutely doted on him and arguably had a much better year with her anxiety. You really can’t let her go through school not having male teachers or indulging her anxieties, that’s ridiculous.

Also the more you start transition now (as much as you can) will help. If you aren’t prepared to start changing things in your child’s world at least try in your own, going to the shops more (queueing isn’t that bad) and maybe meeting a friend in the park for a chat. We do have some more freedom now and I would suggest you utilise it in a safe way. I think it’s odd not to send your kid back because of “the change” because it’ll just be worse in September, although maybe school will be a bit more normal then. Regardless it’s up to you. Hope you start to feel better.

Tbh, it sounds like a return to school, although it won't be "normal" could be a very good thing for you both.
I agree.

I'm just at the dresses and makeup comment! Many women don't wear either.

It's normal for children at this age to be scared of men. Plus in a four year olds eyes men are not not as easy to relate to compared to a lady who has a softer voice and wears dresses or makeup for example. I think that's the issue. She can't relate to men.

My young Granddaughter is the opposite, she finds men hilarious.

Is she also fearful of women in trousers, without make up, who don’t do a softly softly voice?

It's normal for children at this age to be scared of men.

No. It really isn't. Have you sought therapy for her?

I think you are projecting something on to your daughter. No it’s not normal to be fearful of men and your reasons why you think that is normal are even weirder

I rarely wear dresses and I never wear makeup. No wonder my daughters friends are all scared of me