Homeschooling during coronavirus - the role of the woman

[shar93]

Hi guys, I’m currently in year 3 of an Education Degree and have chosen to focus on the coronavirus and homeschooling for my dissertation so wondered if anyone could give me any feedback on how they are finding being a woman during coronavirus/homeschooling. Your information will be used anonymously in my work and won’t be shared with any third parties. I’ve chosen to focus on the role of women during the pandemic because as a mother myself I know how hard it is to juggle everything and feel like as women we’ve got the brunt of it all. There may be some women that disagree with this and I would love to hear from you too! I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m fed up of having to juggle my own academic work, homeschool my 6 year old, look after my 1 year old and on top of that cook, clean, keep my partner alive and try not to lose my mind!! And after all that I then have to consider how I will return to work when my employer wants me to without childcare?! Have the school been supportive with work, online learning and the wellbeing of your family? Please be as honest as possible about your homeschooling experience and your experience as a woman during this time - I’m open to all opinions!! And I would love to hear how your children are feeling about all of this, mine doesn’t want to go back to school.. But it isn’t going to be practical for me to homeschool permanently if I want to have a career. How many of you plan to continue home schooling after this? What challenges have you faced/barriers have you overcome during this pandemic? Anything and EVERYTHING you can tell me about your covid-19 home school experience and your experience as a woman would be amazing. Thank you!

(I am happy to provide an email address to send over consent forms, for using your information, if people would like them).

For the first few weeks it was ok, both my boys seemed ok (5yrs & 3yrs)
Mainly playing amazingly well together all day, not tv/tablets, just getting on super well, which isn’t overly common.
I didn’t do much home schooling to start, mainly because they were so happy to be left to their own devices that I was just enjoying the time as I knew it would end soon!
Home schooling started fairly ok, my 5yr old defiantly struggles with doing it, despite really enjoying school, being a fast learner (I’m lucky he was overachieving at school)
But he just didn’t seem keen on doing it at home, but we managed 10mins a day and with me adding in bits when I can.

As the mother, it was mainly left up to me to do, my husband was on furlough, he will doing anything I ask but also wait to be asked!
I’m qualified nursery practitioner so I often have ideas on how to include learning into their activities but I sometime feel my husband uses that as an excuse to leave it all to me.
I found when we took a child each the one he had wasn’t learning as easily and my husband was taking it all very seriously rather than adapting to the situation to make it as fun as poss with the kids so they both wanted me in the end!

My 3yr old is very keen to do ‘school work’ but I found it really hard to give them both the attention they needed as keep them focused.

My 5yr old the last month or so has defiantly become bit quieter, stroppy and just difficult, very argumentative!! He is very bright and sensitive so Iv found this hard to manage, he doesn’t want to go out (we do make him) once he’s out her very happy & full of more life! But I can tell it’s all taking it’s toll on him but it’s so hard to know what to say and how much without scaring them!
I did tell them that there is a nasty germ going round and that’s why we had to stop school/work, but I kept over hearing my 3yr old playing with toys and saying ‘oh no the germs are going to get you’
This made me worry that they will be germaphobs! I don’t think there is an easy/right way to explain all of this to them without scaring them.
I hate going out for walks and constantly feel like I’m saying ‘move out the way of those people!!’ Trying to get them to social distance is worrying as I also don’t want them to focus on that too much as although it’s the new norm it isn’t normal!
So I do try to find excuses why they have to move out of people way rather eg. Narrow path, don’t want to crash into them etc

The worry in all this is hard! Just for my family and how life is going to be
I don’t want my children doing to school and having to be so distant, it’s doesn’t sound like nice environment although I know it’s needed
Iv definitely had my days where I have struggled with being restricted with what I can do, I feel I need a break from the boys but I think equally they need it from me!
My husbands been back at work for few weeks and definitely feel that’s made it harder, even tho he’s working from home, I feel lonely not having an adult to talk to easily, they kids nag me more than they do him, iv lost my enthusiasm most days but try my hardest to plan out/think of some activities just to make my days easier but it’s hard when your fed up!
I feel guilt about their tablet time, it’s daily! But I do limit it but it’s my fav time of day most days as I just want to be left!!
Saying that makes me feel bad but Iv always had a problem with beating myself up when it comes to the kids when I don’t feel I’m making the most of every moment & always extending their activities (which I know is ridiculous but can’t help how you feel despite trying!!)

The information from his school has been amazing!! They have been very clear on the measures they have put in place and all the home learning, they really couldn’t of done more!!
I also work for the school my son attends, but nearly all the info Iv been given as a staff member Iv had as a parent so it’s really impressive!! I really don’t think the school could do anymore than what it is,
Despite this I will not be sending my children yet, as I am able to keep them at home.
When I go back to work at school on the 1/6 I’m prepared I may change my mind and send him at a later date but at the moment it’s a no.

I have had some amazing days with my children! But also some really bad ones
I’m just taking each day as it comes, more focusing on keeping us all happy, whether that’s with home schooling or not!
But I’m trying my best to love most days as it’s precious time being able to spend with them!! ❤️

I'll respond , what a fantastic dissertation! I'll message you on here if I can- could Posters choose to put posts on their fb for you if you send something appropriate with a contact point for any other mother's interested in responding - if that's allowed in your research proposal .

It'd be nice for women to be heard. We work, we often carry the bulk of childcare responsibilities, remembering everyone's medical care, household work and now our DCs daily education! It's great that we're so phenomenal at multi tasking!!

@Sparticuscaticus thank you!

Absolutely! Feel free to share the link to this forum far and wide :)

Thank you!

Hi, I'm won't link to this forum as don't want to MN ID myself to my friends!

@Sparticuscaticus

Of course! I have a few friends that have shared the link for me because their identity on here is unknown by others. Thank you for your help

Hello. I work for myself at home anyway, so I’m used to a bit of juggling, but my kids are all teens so they are fairly self sufficient. Their school sets work at the beginning of each week and they complete it at their own pace. DS gets straight on with it at 9am every day, DD is not so disciplined, but they’re both getting it done (or so they say, I haven’t actually checked!)

I’m a single mum and their dad has been working abroad for a few months. He got stuck there and can’t leave (or if he does leave he’ll lose his job as he can’t go back again) so I’m full time lone mum now for the foreseeable.

If they were younger and needed supervising, my work would definitely be suffering more. The fact that they can make their own lunch etc is a huge help as I also have some long term illness problems (caused by interruption to my medicine supply due to Covid) and would really struggle with the practicalities of looking after little ones all day every day at this point.

I’m very grateful for the grant provided to self employed people to help tide us over the last 3 months, but I do worry how long the effects of this are going to go on, and whether that support will abruptly stop. I understand there’s a balance to be struck between what’s right for the country in terms of health and what’s right for the country in terms of economics.

I’ve been furloughed which upset me a great deal at the time as my job means such a lot to me. In reality I was very lucky though, my husband is working very long hours from home so I feel I am transported back to when the kids were little and I was the stay at home mum. I’m pleased to have the freedom to help them with their school work but I do not enjoy the endless monotony of picking up after everyone. I miss the intellectual stimulation of work and my colleagues and friends!
On the plus side as he is here I have been able to exercise much more and I wonder how I’ll keep it up once I return to work. I think he has more idea of how often household tasks are done. Over and over!
I am looking forward to returning to work on 1st June but I am nervous of how everything will be fit in, shopping and cooking etc. my older daughter will be at home still and I’ve told my husband he must not leave her to her own devices all day but I know in reality with him work always takes priority. Again as there will be no after school clubs I will have more freedom as I spend a good few hours running them around over the week, and with hubby home I can exercise at this time instead. So it feels like a soft return to work.
I seemed to have remained responsible for the family admin and emotional side of things. Making sure birthday cards are sent etc. And I swear he wouldn’t ring his parents unless I reminded him. That is one job I feel I shouldn’t have to take on.

This is a really interesting topic op. I am an early years practitioner but currently working from home. Initially dh was also wfh, and shut himself away from 8-5, only coming down for lunch. We have 4 children aged between 6-15, the youngest has additional needs and requires pretty much full-time attention. So while he worked, I attempted to keep the older 3 on track with their work (luckily schools were setting work on a daily basis, so I didn't have to do that bit) while trying to encourage youngest dd to do some of the work that I had set for her using her targets & trying to incorporate some of the work her teacher was setting for the whole year 2 class. And stop her from trashing the house! Once dh finished work at 5, I went up and tried to get as much work done between then and around 7:30. He would stick the kids in front of screens and cook dinner (that I had shopped for/planned). I was trying to make up around 20 hours of work per week, just in the evenings, so would work after the kids had gone to bed and at weekends too to catch up. It was exhausting, but I was grateful that my work was flexible enough to do this.
3 weeks in, dh was furloughed so in theory we traded roles. Slightly different though as I still set youngest dd's work, which dh then does with her, and - having discovered that ds13 had done absolutely nothing for 2 weeks - I now have him upstairs with me and try to supervise/cajole/motivate him while doing my work. I also stop work to make lunch for all of us, and finish in time to make dinner too. It's fair enough though as looking after dd6 all day is blooming hard work and dh is doing a very good job there.
I suppose I just feel that the bulk of the mental load is very much on me. Dh would argue that it is because I worry too much about everything (which is true!) but it is also because he seems to worry so little that it errs on the side of complete inaction!!
Sorry - bit of a ramble there. Good luck with your dissertation.