Do I say goodbye to my dying Dad - Covid rules?

[Autumnowls]

My Dad, who is 89 years old, is in poor health and declining. He lives and is taken care of by my Mum (85 y/o). We've not seen them for months due to Covid-lockdown and they have been totally isolating at home. My Dad has got worse and Mum thinks he doesn't have long left now. We were hoping that the Government were going to allow travel to see another household - but the recent change is only 1 member of the household. Mum can't get him to a public place as he is too frail, she doesn't drive and to be honest is frail herself. Mum can get him on a chair outside in their little patio bit so I could see him socially distanced but it isn't a public place and she would be there two so that's not allowed.

I'd love to see him and say goodbye, scared he will die before any family lockdown is eased and totally don't know what to do. I know the law says I can't see him unless he is alone and outside in a public place. I have been totally isolating for 7 weeks due to my own underlying health conditions.

Thank you for reading this.

I'm a stickler for rules and am taking the coronavirus situation particularly seriously, but even I'm saying you should forget the rules in this case.

So sorry to hear about your Dad. Absolutely go, otherwise you'll regret it

Go and see him x

Yes

There are a thousand people making stupid stuff up to bend rules, they drive me mad. I wouldn’t, under any circumstances, count going to see your dying or very ill as stupid. Go!

Definitely go. Spend time together with your parents. Hug and kiss them. You will remember forever that you and your DF spent special time together.

I lost my dad suddenly in 2016. Please go and see him x

Go and see them both. I’m sure your mum could do with a little support as well.

Yes, this isn't a visit for the sake of it, it's a visit to say goodbye. It might help your Mum as well. I'm so very sorry that you're having to go through something so difficult at such a chaotic time.

Absolutely you should go

Go and see him.

The rules say you can visit the house of vulnerable people.
You absolutely should go. I’m sure you’d want to see your children before you die. He would love to see you

Without a doubt, go and see him, he's your Dad and I'm sure it will help your Mum

Please go. Please.

Please go.

There's nothing that you would do that would make the situation worse so go. And make it better for you and your mum and your dad.

Thank you to all you wonderful people that have responded. THANK YOU. I will go.

Just go. This is a chance you won't get again. You'll always regret it if you don't take it. You're not harming anyone else. Cherish every second.

go 1000 times over. And I say that as someone who has been scrupulously sticking to the rules.

I'm sorry that you are in this situation. This is the first unanimous mumsnet thread I've ever seen! Take care of yourself and remember to post on here if you need any support xx

Go tomorrow and don't think twice about it

Glad your going to see him, don't worry your not doing nothing wrong and totally understandable in this circumstance.

Please go, he’s your Dad xxx

I’m in the same position OP and I have now gone to spend time with my father after weeks of not doing so and having to leave my mother to cope day to day. Now nothing will keep me away. Definitely go - it’s more important than anything else.

Absolutely go and see your Mum and Dad the worst case scenario is already happening to you! Cherish every precious moment sending you lots love

Gosh, it’s barely breaking the rules anyway. You’ll be outside.