Going back to the office with no childcare.. what do I do

[Hmmmmminteresting]

I need advice if poss please.
Work have dropped the bombshell today that despite the fact we've all worked from home (very sucessfully) since lockdown began, they want us back in the office 3 days next week and WFH the other 2.
I have made no secret of the fact that I am going to struggle. I have a 4 and a 2 year old at nursery. Nursery closed down as lockdown began despite me being a key worker, my dh was furloughed just for my benefit as WFH for 2 months alone with the dc was not sustainable. His work agreed to furlough him but now understandably want him back 1st June as he has work to do.
I have explained to my work that nursery will take 4yo as due to start school in sept, but the younger one they wont take till july.
I've reiterated this to work today, that I will struggle to work 3 days a week at the office in june as no childcare for the 2yo so would be grateful if for that month I can continue to WFH daily.
I have been told that I am unable to look after dc while I am WFH now. And that if I have no childcare I have to work evenings and weekends, till midnight they said is acceptable. So I have to get up at 6am, look after dc all day, start work when dh arrives home st 6.30pm, work 5.5 hours 5 x nights a week and then go to bed at midnight, then make up the other 12 hours on my weekend.
Seriously... I'm done. What am I meant to do. I just want to cry

re unpaid leave:
can you afford it and are you sure they will keep your job open ?

Not got any solutions, but just wanted to say you have my sympathies, it's a shit situation. Hope things work out for you.

Also I am a keyworker but our nursery is private and for 3 days straight my 2 were the only kids sent in just before lockdown began, therefore it want sustainable for them to stay open regardless of my key worker status.
I could find alternative childcare for dc2 for that month but this lock down has already made him clingy as he cant understand why his life has got so different. The thought of sending him to a stranger for 4 weeks to satisfy my companies needs just breaks my heart as this is such a period or uncertainty as it is.

Thanks @EngagedAgain

Union? Do you work for government or private firm?

Could your DH ask for his furlough to be extended on childcare grounds?

You have my sympathy though, it’s shit, we’re both WFH with 2 kids and I’m failing at everything

No union, privately owned company. HR department based in another part of the uk.
Dh has asked his company to extend furlough but they have said no as they already did it for 2 months and his work load has mounted now. He was quiet at the start so they were happy but as more premises are opening his company have got busy again

Tell them to stick their job, they don't care about you as an employee, you are better off out of there. Some employers can be such arseholes. I feel better just typing that! Seriously though, I understand employers need to get back running and make money but we are in exceptional circumstances. What do they expect you to do with your child? Some say childminder but for those with kids, this can take time to arrange and is not always the best option. Ask for furlough, if they still refuse, they are definitely not worth working for is there family who could help out just for the month, you could create your own temporary bubble?

Did you say you’re a keyworker? I work for local authority as a keyworker and as so am unable to be furloughed for childcare reasons however your employer may be able offer this if you’re not- they can say no though. I’m fortunate that our team are working from home and carrying out work virtually. I have returned off maternity leave and have a one year old at home so can sympathise.

Can't you find a childminder? If the nursery has closed you won't have to be paying the nursery fees. I'm struggling to see what the problem is?

I had to take a mixture of annual leave and unpaid leave in a similar situation

I would get signed off with stress to buy you some time. You’ve only got today to sort a childminder as it’s bank holiday weekend. They sound like fuckers, don’t send your boy to a stranger as a last resort just to please this company who are making an unnecessary choice. Do you work in a field where finding a new job is feasible? There are much better employers out there.

That's not how business works - they exist to make money
Thanks for explaining capitalism, I wasn't aware

I would get signed off with stress to buy you some time.

^This

Have they given an actual reason for expecting everyone back in the office? Not that you could work from home with a 2 year old, but you would get more done than travelling in as you can't do it at the moment if no one can have him. Most local offices are offering people the choice whether they want to come back in (some people prefer it), and are letting everyone else carry on WFH.

How will be DH will be contributing? He has asked to flex his hours or WFH?

I also think op you need to look at a Mix of unpaid leave and vacation and your husband to do the same. So share it between you to lessen the impact.

I’d be worried about loosing my job if I asked for furlough, And just for you, as you’re basically asking them to find someone else to do your job for as long as it takes.

For people saying employers are unreasonable, they employ people to work, and it is reasonable they expect that work done under the terms agreed Ie not whilst looking after infants.. Many do not feel looking after small kids and working is appropriate. Which to be fair is right as looking after small kids is not something you do in a few mins a day. It takes a lot of focus.

This is why I’m surprised so many people screamed for schools and child care to remain closed, because it was obvious companies would reopen and expect their staff back. Which is reasonable,

For people saying employers are unreasonable, they employ people to work, and it is reasonable they expect that work done under the terms agreed Ie not whilst looking after infants..
Those terms weren't agreed during a global pandemic with a forced shutdown of ALL childcare options.

Yes, some childcare and some schools are reopening. But not to the full extent that they were before, therefore working society can't return to its normal functions. It's obscene for the OP's employer to ban her from WFH with children when her nursery won't take her child – even more so when you consider it's just for a month! All they're doing, for short-term bastardry, is ensuring that long-term, the OP knows she needs to find a different employer.

OP, I think unfortunately your best option is to cobble together a plan for June that leaves you financially worse off – unpaid leave, carers leave, childminder if there is actually one available, flexible working – then, when both DC have childcare, look for a new employer. There ARE decent ones out there who aren't behaving like this.

Talk to the nursery again
I’m a nursery manager and don’t see what difference it makes if they have both children from now
It’s only 4 weeks
If you explain the situation to them I’m sure they will try their best to help

You've actually had it quite easy with your DH being furloughed, so it's odd that your employer has WFH concerns. Have you been struggling to get your work done as it is? Do they perhaps not understand that the workload is very high for whatever reason at the moment, and that's the conversation you need to be having?

As PP says, I'd ask the nursery if the boys can go together in the same room for a month, They're from one household so the risk isn't increased by much. At 2 you can't really be using random childcare for one month, I would expect he would get distressed, so basically any other option is needed.

There are only 22 working days in June; if you work 8 weekend days plus the two at the end of May that means you only really need to cover 12 days while looking after your toddler. Does he sleep? If you could get 2 hours per day done that's going to add up to a full week of work over the month. So then 7 days to cover; you and your DH each take 1 day off work as holiday or unpaid leave per week, done and no need to be doing silly hours in the evening.

(Or your DH takes one week off and you work a few extra hours that week.)

I’m completely shocked and disgusted that people have taken advantage of the furlough scheme to cover childcare. It’s basically stealing from other tax payers when your husband could have been working. Horrendous behavior

Yes, what is your DH doing to ensure his children are cared for? Why should 100% of the burden be on you to sort it?

I’m completely shocked and disgusted that people have taken advantage of the furlough scheme to cover childcare. It’s basically stealing from other tax payers when your husband could have been working. Horrendous behavior

You're funny

mirror, childcare (or lack of) was one of the reasons for which one could get furloughed. If you have very young children or children with complex SN at home, it is impossible for some jobs to be done. What should parents in this situation have been done?