If you are a SAHM will you send your DCs back on 1 June?

[Brunelofbrio]

Just that really, DC1 is in the year group that is supposed to be returning to school in June.

I am currently a SAHM as I was job hunting just before the lock down and that is all on hold. I am also a qualified primary school teacher...

I have been given 24 hours to decide if I will be sending DC1 into school. In lots of ways we are ok to carry on at home. I am here with a younger DC in any case and we have been home schooling fairly successfully.

DC1 can be anxious and has struggled with social distancing etc. I am concerned that they will find all the new set up hard to manage. I am not really worried about the risk to us of catching it - but am aware the teachers are being put in a difficult position.

BUT... DC1 struggles socially and was just making progress before the lockdown. They are desperate to be back with their friends and I dont want them to be pushed out by not being there.

WWYD?

Yes, I will.

I'm returning on the basis the risk is low and that the educational value gained from returning yo school far outweighs the tiny risk.

I have YR and Y10 who'll be going back 1st June, Y5 who'll be going back a few weeks later during June and Y9 who won't be back until Sept.

WRT social distancing being a bit scary, I get this but also believe they will have to get used to it eventually because it's not going to change, so might as well be sooner rather than later.

@RigaBalsam how dyou find out the R rate for your area please?
Those of you who have had info from school how are break times working other than staggering? Is it one kid per chalked square in the playground or normal playtime with lots of hand washing? Equipment or no equipment? Have school specified?

Yes I will, however DS is in year 10 of a SEN school where social distancing would be impossible due to the complex needs.

TBH I think September is overly optimistic at this point, never mind June. I hope I am wrong but mentally preparing for it.

@Notdonna our school has said it will be bubbles of 10 children with at least one adult per group, but without social distancing within the group. So the group will have playtime together and will have one area of the playground to play in. They will also - to my surprise - go to the hall for dinner and can have school dinners, but again, it will be just with their bubble.
They haven't yet said what the timings will be other than that school day start and end will be staggered and that the school day may seem short because of this... and that they are closing at lunchtime on Fridays for teacher planning and deep cleaning.

Yes no question

SAHM here. DC in yr1.

I have just filled in the form from the school asking if we're sending her in. I've said yes. However DH and i have agreed that if she's distressed by it after the first day or two we'll tell the school, thank them, and wont send her back again till Sept.

I honestly think we should all make our own individual decisions based on knowledge of our children and what the school is offering. Don't be swayed by other's decisions. Is it right for your child?

Oh, out of interest our school (small village) is doing bubbles of 15 with two adults per bubble. Staggered everything (pick up, drop off, playing, eating) and closed every Friday.

@waltzingparrot couldn’t agree more.

We have a WhatsApp group for mums in my sons class, someone started a conversation asking who was sending children back. Lots initial said no but once a few mums had said ‘Yes, I believe it’s safe’ type of thing, they all started changing their mind! I wanted to scream, this is not a decision you should just follow suit on. You know your child best, make the decision based on that and that alone!

I would but mine are y2 and y4 and I think school would notice if I tried sneaking them in. I had thought about posting them through the railings, but their heads would get stuck

Seriously, they need company of their peers, some kinds of school routines and an educational environment. At home, they have eachother, they have me, a SAHM ex-teacher, but I can't meet all their needs songle handedly.

It concerns be that there is a realistic prospect that they could go from March to September without proper access to formal education. DS1 hashad diagnises of ASD, dyslexia and dyspraxia in the last year. DS2 may be dyslexic and needs positive role modelling which he is not getting at home from DS1's struggles.

• @waltzingparrot I honestly think we should all make our own individual decisions based on knowledge of our children and what the school is offering. Don't be swayed by other's decisions. Is it right for your child?* Maybe. But it’s great to hear different perspectives that one may not have thought of. Our school are supposedly returning on June 1st if go to give go ahead but the specifics are yet to be sent out so it’s tricky to make a decision until we know exactly what a school day will look like. I do not want my child playing in a 2m square at break time for example.

Bold fail!
And Meant to read ‘if govt give go ahead for 1st June...’

Why the hell not. We can't lock them up forever and expect them to come out unscathed.

My school have said they need a yes or no by tomorrow!
My child wants to go back. Year one.
I think it would benefit her

But I'm just too scared now after what I've read and heard everywhere

Yes, I will send my older DD (Y4) as soon as I can. She would be devastated to be kept at home if her friends went back, she is very resilient and although school might be weird she would not want to be left out.

WAHM and no (but equally understand and support those who say yes). One is allowed back but not other. So if I send one to mix with other kids the other is left alone. They are bffs and get on so well. I am also vulnerable and one dc is very anxious but doing great at home

I've never been so stressed about one decision in all my life. I don't know what to do for the best. I feel so bad for her

Yes the stats for London are very low.

No x

My DD is in year 6 and she really wants to go back to school, she has really struggled at home.

When I mentioned this to a couple of friends of mine on a WhatsApp group I was made to feel like a bad parent, who is putting her child in danger.

I myself work as a TA in a different school and after seeing the plans we have in place I do feel a lot more confident about safety than I initially did.

Why do some parents feel like they have the right to judge other people's decisions?

Neither DH nor I are SAHP, but we have decided to keep our year 10 child off until September.
I simply do not trust other parents to keep their children off when they are poorly.
By Sept, I hope we’ll know more about this disease and schools will be better prepared.

I don't get the whole 'they need their friends' logic.

Yes they do, but they won't have the same social experience even if they are reception because of the set up.

There is no guarantee that children will be in the same group as their friends.

DS's best friends mum has blanked me after saying one video call and her saying could we make it a regular thing. I've tried to talk to her but nothing. I don't know whether she just has a problem with me, the family is struggling or whether her son isn't coping with video chats. I've just got a complete brick wall. DS bitterly misses his best mate and talks about him loads. But I have no idea if he will return. DS has not done well on days when his best mate wasn't in, so returning and not being with him would be worse than the current situation.

The teaching won't be play based in the same way. The teachers won't be able to interact in the same way.

And whilst the kids might cope with the situation it's not necessarily going to be as educational as normal and some will find it much harder. It's inevitable.

If I hear one more thing about how the Danish are doing it well so we can I swear I will scream. We have schools that just aren't as big and able to accommodate these changes. It's not fair on staff as there's no guidance on teaching under these conditions and many staff have genuine reason to be worried about the risk to them - the number of cases we have is far, far higher than Denmark. We have more kids in a class and the proposals are for bigger classes than Denmark.

The only way the guidance works is if a certain percentage of parents don't send their kids back. That boils my piss to be honest.

I'm not worried about DS's education. He's exceeding all his targets for the year and I'm cracking on with key stage 1 stuff now.

And to blunt about it I also can't be doing with all the school gate bullshit and lockdown superficiality going on. No one is being honest, and everyone is putting up a massive front and swear if someone says one more thing about bloody rainbows I'll punch them.

It's a no from me, not particularly because I want to keep DS off, but because the measures are such unbelievable bullshit tbh. It won't stop an outbreak going right through a whole school. It won't protect staff and parents and it's just a massive faff exercise in pretending different (to play politics).

They either go back because its safe enough to do so, or they don't in my book. Just teach them properly rather than being a babysitting service which tells the children not to socialise properly when what they need most is to do it freely without restraint.

It's bollocks, the whole situation.

Not to mention that so many people have got it into their heads that the government will definitely move to phase 2 on 1st June. The more you listen to the language being used the more there is this caveat creeping in, which makes me think there will be date slippage either nationally or at least locally for all stage 2 changes not just schools cos we have not met the 5 test requirements by the deadline of 28th May.

I'm sick of it all tbh.

@purpleme12 I'm sorry you're finding this decision stressful. I think the discussions on mumsnet, although helpful for some to see different perspectives, are very polarised. Lots of people shouting that it isn't safe must be hard to ignore. Please understand that the risk to your child and your family of catching coronavirus is currently quite low and the risk of being seriously unwell (unless you have other conditions) is very very small. So if you do want to give school a go, the risk to your childs health is tiny. Look at the stats if you dont believe me. Media headlines about children dying are not representative of the actual risk to your child.

Each school will have different plans with regard to how they will manage it so why not ask to speak to someone at the school to see what that might look like for you. At the end of the day if it worries you too much and you can look after your child at home then that is also an acceptable decision. There will be a lot of work to catch up in September and your child will not be kept behind by missing a few weeks if the summer term.

My reception age child will be going to school but my year 4 staying home for now. My decision is based on the low risk to us of getting ill and that we have a big school with lots of outside space, my child will benefit from an opportunity to play with other children and I have spoken to his teacher who is very confident that she can look after them properly, teach them enough and allow them to interact with each other relatively normally.

Your child will be fine either way.

Neither of mine are in the year groups that are returning on 1st June, but yes I would send them back if I had the option. They are both missing their friends and the social aspects of school and I feel this isolation, which is hard for adults, is damaging for DC. The longer they are all locked away at home and not allowed to socialise with DC their age the worst it will be. IMO you have to weigh up one kind of damage against another and right now, after two months of social isolation, I fear that is far more damaging than any minimal risk to them from the virus.

DC1 in Y10 and I’m not sending him back, just not worth it for what they can offer. It’d be one day a week, mixed groups of 15, one adult supervising and all just doing the same online learning as at home. I would have considered it if any of his friends were going as it’s the social side I’m worried about.
DC2 in Y6 will go back, as will most of his friends. No indication yet from the school when or how it’ll work though.
DC3 in Y3 so probably won’t go back until September, I will probably continue doing some numeracy and literacy work with her over the summer so she doesn’t find it too hard going back.