Do you feel like you are losing your mind?

[randomer]

I do, a bit. Can't concentrate, friendships ruined,motivation poor, a contant hum of anxiety in the background.

I often feel anxious, sad and panicky in the evenings - it has hit me just now and is really horrible ☹️.

Oops name change - I have already contributed as don’tknow

My dreams are far nicer too. Although I was sacked from my job in the one I had last night. I am just focusing on the little things at the moment, I can't cope with the big stuff. Love watching the birds in the bird bath, splashing around. There is a family of robins nesting in the ivy, I can hear the babies squeaking when they are being fed. Love seeing the swifts in the sky that return every year. Life will go on. I am clinging to that. It's not easy though.

@msheffa, you don't sound so good?

I sat in the garden this afternoon. It didn't help.
I've been to work four days a week for the whole of lockdown. That is helping my sanity a bit but madness (diagnosed as bipolar but discharged from pysch in Feb) keeps on sitting just out of sight at the corner of my eye.
My biggest problem is my kids being in the US, they would have been coming over this summer but now I don't think thats going to happen and it's killing me. Keep on thinking about dying and wanting to be dead but I know they need me even though we are so far apart.

Oh come on now @Room101isWhereIUsedtoLive

Bi polar is not mad, its not your fault. I bet your kids are lovely.

Room101.

@Agent, dislodge that child from your breast forthwith.

They are lovely. I think my dad is coping ok with the whole situation, apart from being quite angry with my ex and his new wife on occasion.
But I worry about my ds, he's eleven and he seems to be loosing it a bit.
Before I always had the option, or the ability rather to jump in a plane and get there in less than a day, should they need me to. But that can't happen at the moment.
I keep playing scratch cards hoping I will win enough money so I can take all my leave now and get someone to get me there on a boat. But that's wishes and horses.

My dad, not my dad.

My dd even!!

There are a few things going on here...

• The less you do, the (weirdly) more tired you'll feel and the less you will feel like doing. It's a vicious circle and the only way out of it is to put a routine in place tomorrow and follow it

• Structure and routine are everything. Have an actual timetable for yourself every day

• Find something you want to achieve as a goal - something challenging but achievable - and work towards that, celebrating each little bit of progress

• Listen to something motivating in the morning like a guided motivation meditation on the Insight Timer app

Yes I am losing my mind. Can't do anything right with a moody , volatile 13 year old and a DH who complains about ds constantly.
I'm in pain with my knees as Ds wants to go to play football for approx 3 hours a day in one or two sessions. I can't let him go unsupervised (Sen) .He won't go for a walk or anything else. I never want to see a football again in September ! Sick of asking for basic things to be done. No car and feeling very suffocated

@randomer

Not many people pick up on that.

Even before the pandemic I range from being okay to not minding if I was dead.

The only thing that banishes the thought is what would happen to my adult son who has mental heath issues and is a loner like myself. Can't do that to him. So I chug along, not letting on to people how I really feel.

I'm not on any antidepressants and not had counselling for years. I think my state of mind now is just a normal state of being. So to a lot of the posters, welcome to my pre, and likely post pandemic, world.

@heffa, nowt wrong with meds and counselling.....ideally the 2 work together?

Pp saying get a routine, I had a routine and it's gone out the window. My routine involved 2 walks a day, these last few days it's poured and walking the same old wet streets list its appeal.

My dcs are adults who don't need babysat. I'm furloughed from work. I don't want to learn a language or do yoga. So what else do I do all day? My house us small and tidy, I'm not doing more cleaning.

Any routine suggestions welcome. Seriously.

No. I realise I am very lucky but I am loving DH not working and being home. Not been bored at all. I have been out a total of 3 times in 9 weeks.

We have decorated 2 rooms and are stripping and preparing the landing, stairs and hallway so that will keep us busy for quite a while. We have watched the plays downloaded by the National Theatre, watched dvd's listened to audio books online, done quizzes, played scrabble, done quite a lot of gardening. Are both doing a free online Open University course. DH has been doing his hobbies of working on cars and woodwork. I have been knitting, upcycling furniture and learning to sew. I am going to teach myself to crochet next.

I have been surprised how unaffected I am by not going out. Before this we went to the cinema at least twice a month, went to the theatre, to museums, art galleries, castles, gardens etc quite a lot. I do miss seeing my parents but not as much as I thought I would. It will be quite a while before I will risk seeing them as they are both in their 90's

@ssd, Got it's tough, boring dull and crap.

Yep 🙋🏻‍♀️

Had a telephone appointment with gp this morning to increase my antidepressants. Froze on the phone and there was about 5 seconds silence before I managed to speak then fumbled over my words and couldn't speak properly! Never used to be like this

Lynsay, you sound very positive. Do you have kids?

Yes, my anxiety is sky high. My health anxiety has spiralled out of control as I am terrified I will get some horrible disease and not be able to be diagnosed. I found out I'm getting a new neighbour, normally I wouldn't be too worried but now that I'm confined to my home most of the time I'm convinced they're going to be death metal heads with 3 barking hounds. God help me I just want it back how it was

I'm fine for a few seconds when I wake up in the morning and then I remember.

All the fun (or most of it) has gone out of life and I need to see my parents. They live 3 hours drive away.

My nan has passed away and her funeral is tomorrow but I can't go as there's no space. It's a 4 hour drive away as well.

Cuddling pets helps. It reduces blood pressure. I find doing tiny jobs around the house helps eg cleaning one window. Quick hoover around for 10 mins.

It's so hard to get motivated though.

I put ice lollies in the boiling oven the other week. I also put my toothbrush in the freezer. Took weeks to find it!

Oh yes. I'm truly with you on that! Though mine is probably due to w medical problem. But it makes me laugh that I could be so god damn stupid at times.

Yes, have never felt like this.
Had my first panic attack around two weeks in, hadn’t had one before and wasn’t sure what it was, I just felt ‘Strange’ and couldn’t breathe, Dp called an ambulance and I went to hospital for tests.
Had three smaller panic attacks since at night and ended up at the doctors on Friday because I’ve had pains in my legs, dizziness..allsorts. Was prescribed Xanax type pills, haven’t taken them yet but I’m scared I’ll need to again. Never had a history of anxiety as high as this.
I don’t watch the news really but do see bits on Fb and morning tv, but I’m trying to switch it all off. I find just getting out and moving makes a big difference for me. Last week it rained all week and being indoors with just my dd I ended up convincing myself of all kind of physical ailments. I actually ended up crying to my dp on Saturday and letting everything out, which helped. Just sick of the constant fear and not knowing. This is so very hard for everyone, we need to live again,