Anyone with a DS12 how are they coping with all this?

[Littlemiss74]

I’m getting a bit worried about my DS12. In the past week he has become very moody and irritable and a bit angry. He is so rude to us and shouty and will argue about absolutely everything.
We are sticking to a fairly good routine in the week trying to follow his school timetable and giving him lots of help but he hates doing it and is causing quite a bit of stress in the house and everyone’s getting upset.

He stomps around, muttering and huffing and puffing, he’s banged his fist on the table a few times doing schoolwork. He was coping really well during lockdown but he’s changed this week.
All he wants to do when he’s not doing schoolwork is xbox and be on his phone. He will go out in he garden a bit and play football and we go out once a day for a walk or bike ride.

He is constantly raiding the cupboards for snacks. We don’t buy alot of junk but we do have some crisps &
biscuits that are bought once a week and when they are gone they are gone. He is very fussy with meals which is another battle. He will eat some fruit but only if it is served up to him, he would never go and help himself to it.

I feel that we shouldn’t tolerate his disrespectful behaviour but then again I think this must be a very difficult time for a child who is entering puberty, who hasn’t seen his friends for 8 weeks and is unlikely to return to school for another 3 months.

I tried talking to him earlier to ask if something was bothering him. I wonder if someone has said something on his phone that’s upset him, I will be checking later.

Is anyone else finding the same? I could do with some advice if anyone has any. He just seems to be getting unhappier by the day and I’m struggling with how to balance disciplining him with caring for him at this difficult time. Thanks for any help

My step son is 11 and been having very similar behaviour at his Mums. He has not been like that here (yet!). When DH spoke to him about it DSS said that he is just really fed up of not going to school and not seeing his friends

It's really tricky because the behaviour obviously isn't OK but then the world is in such a funny place right now! And they are a difficult age. Not much advice except maybe pick your battles, but just wanted to say your DS is not the only one.

Oh, and my own DS was a junk food fiend at this age and food was a daily battle. He's 25 now and eats a very balanced and healthy diet so I wish I never wasted so much energy stressing

My DS had a mood dip this week too - I have really struggled to get him to do anything. I contacted his school who were really helpful. They directed me to a couple of funny videos the staff had put together plus his tutor emailed him to say hello. He perked right up. I think he just needed to feel some sense of connection with school rather than just doing worksheets/quizzes on his own all the time.

My ds (12) has also been struggling. He is very capable of the work set but with no real interaction from school, he is getting very bored and frustrated with it and I I still have to work f/t from home so help as much as I can but am no replacement for a teacher.

He doesn’t have loads of friends anyway but is now missing the routine of school. He also just likes to play on his xbox/DS/Switch when it doing school work and hates any sport with a passion so I have my work cut out. I do make him and his sister (14) come out every couple of days for a walk but I’m trying to remind myself that these aren’t normal times and if playing on his consoles makes him happy at the moment then so be it. He does communicate with friends on there too so at least it’s a way of interacting.

Basically, I think it’s quite usual at this age with what’s going on and like you say, hormones. It sounds like he knows he can talk to you if anything more is bothering him so keep that door open and reassure him that this won’t be forever (although it feels like it).

My DS is 12. Very resistant to any school work but we have a sort of routine that is working. Hes moody and disrespectful but i think that his age - hes grown so tall in a short space of time and his voice is breaking. Hes also eating all the time. We have a very strict one can of coke and one sweet policy (we relax is a little at weekends) but he is forever eating cereal. Which means we are going through a ton of milk.

A lot of his attitude is related to his xbox time though - he is noticeably angrier if he has a lot of time on it. Its his only interaction with other kids though so we do let him play a fair bit.

However, he doesn't seem to care about corona at all. We don't watch the news and try to keep talk about it to a minimum but he seems quite unaffected by it. He is simply loving being off school. He doesn't have any proper friends so he doesnt miss the social side of things.