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I feel terrible

28 replies

Ginandbitterlemonplease · 10/05/2020 21:49

Hi,
I’m just after a hand hold really was I’m so sad. I’m a single mother to a 4 year old little boy and two weeks ago we had to move in with my mum with reasons to do with my home and my landlord not being able to get out. it wasn’t a decision I took lightly and now I feel awful.

My mum is a care worker and her home was hit pretty hard with the virus however she was isolating through most of it.
2 days ago I started developing symptoms and my temp soared today and I was struggling to catch my breath. I rang 111 and they have advised me to isolate from everyone in the household- even my son.

I don’t know really why I’m writing, I’m just sat in the bedroom feeling so ill and so guilty that I may have passed it on to my mum and my little boy. The guilt I feel is immense that something bad is going to happen to the people I love and care about the most. I can’t stop crying.

My mum has to stay off work for 14 days and she will be looking after my son. I’ve never gone more than two nights without him and we do everything together.

Sorry for the pity party post, I know there is so many people worse off than me I’m just feeling really down in the dumps and didn’t know where else to vent xx

OP posts:
ssd · 10/05/2020 21:53

Oh god I'm so sorry op, that sounds so hard for you. If it's any consolation, you are doing the right thing and I'm sure your little ds will be fine with your mum. He won't remember this in years to come, trust me on that.

Take good care of yourself Flowers

Moondust001 · 10/05/2020 21:58

I'm sorry you aren't well, and need to stay away from your mum and boy. But you shouldn't blame yourself. You have done nothing wrong. You are just ill. Getting upset won't help you. Snuggle down, drink plenty of liquids and try to rest. Eat when you can, and try to eat regularly. And don't assume that you have it. You may, you may not, but try not to panic - even if you ahve it the chances are that you will feel lousy for a bit, and that's the worst that will happen.

Ginandbitterlemonplease · 10/05/2020 22:02

Thank you both for your replies ❤️

I’m honestly not bothered so much about me having it, I’m just so scared my mam or my son might have it if I do. I just feel so, so sad x

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duffeldaisy · 10/05/2020 22:08

So sorry - what a really upsetting situation. But you're doing the right thing, and you're so, so likely to be absolutely fine.
Don't beat yourself up about getting ill. That's not your fault.

Your son is being looked after, he's getting love and attention and, while it must be extraordinarily hard, there's nothing else you can do but focus on getting better. There's not much you can do there either, apart from just rest all you possibly can, keep drinking fluids, and be really kind to yourself. You need to get through the quarantine time, but you don't need to feel guilty during all that. It is you being unfair on you, and it won't make the situation any better.

Get well very soon - hopefully it's the really light version that only gives symptoms for a couple of days, or even better, just a normal cold.

DirtyDancing · 10/05/2020 22:11

I didn’t want to read and not reply. You poor thing. Feeling ill and down is just awful. Please look after yourself, take the advice and rest up. Get well soon.

FurForksSake · 10/05/2020 22:14

At least you can get tested and find out if it is or not. I hope if it is it is mild.

Dontknowhowtohelp1 · 10/05/2020 22:15

Dear @Ginandbitterlemonplease you have nothing to blame yourself for. Take good care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon. Sending you lots of love - keep posting here if you want to.

Isadora2007 · 10/05/2020 22:17

Honestly if you or your son are distressed at this separation, you could still see him as realistically if he’s going to get it he’s likely to have picked it up already. Mental health is as important to everyone as physical and particularly so for a young child whose attachment to you is strong.
If he is otherwise in good health i would just treat it like any other illness. Rest as much as you can and limit contact a little eg don’t sleep with him etc. But honestly I don’t think isolating from them is necessary.

TW2013 · 10/05/2020 22:18

Where do you think you caught it? Is it possible that your mother had it and was asymptomatic? In which case you might be the one who is most affected as generally younger children are less affected. Try to sleep on your front and practise deep breathing exercises. See whether due to your mother's job you can be tested.

FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue · 10/05/2020 22:22

That does sound hard OP. Flowers As you're in a household with a keyworker you qualify to get tested.
www.gov.uk/guidance/coronavirus-covid-19-getting-tested

Bigfishylittlefishy · 10/05/2020 22:23

Please
Don’t feel guilty you are not responsible at all for this ghastly virus. Rest up, drink lots and lots of fluids. Sending love your way. 💖

Ginandbitterlemonplease · 10/05/2020 22:25

Thank you all again xx
I don’t know where I could have caught it if it is, my boy suffers with his chest so the only place we have really been is to our local shop and even then I think in the whole 7 weeks it’s just been a couple of times as friends have delivered our shopping.

he doesn’t like to see me ill anyways so him keeping away from me shouldn’t be a problem, I just honestly feel so low. I’m hoping it is just a cold but I have never felt fatigue like it, I can usually survive on a couple of hours sleep and when I’m ill can just work through it but this has got me feeling like utter crap.

I’m lucky I have my mum, what would happen if I didn’t have any help? the thought of passing it on to her and something bad happening to either of them is killing me right now.

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Sunshinegirl82 · 10/05/2020 22:29

I would see if you can get a test ASAP op, then at least you know what you’re dealing with.

I know it’s really tough being away from your little boy but he will be ok, they are more resilient than you think. I hope you feel better soon.

GymSloth · 10/05/2020 22:30

I feel so sorry for you. Please don't blame yourself though. You've done absolutely nothing wrong.

Could you have caught it from your mum maybe? She may have been asymptomatic and therefore didn't realise she had it? In which case, at least you wouldn't need to worry about passing it on to her!

Hope you feel better soon.

BluSky5 · 10/05/2020 22:39

Trust that your son will be fine. It’s only temporary Gin. Why don’t you download the Headspace app to try to help manage the way you are feeling about all this. I’m self isolating with my teenagers with the virus and I’m listening to the meditations helps to calm me down. I hope you’ feeling better soon.

Ginandbitterlemonplease · 10/05/2020 22:51

Thank you everyone xxxx

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catsandlavender · 10/05/2020 22:56

Flowers sending lots of get well soon wishes! I’ve got the fatigue too and a temperature but one (only one!!) of my tonsils is swollen so I’m hoping it’s just tonsillitis. See how you are in the morning, it could just be a funny 5 mins, bodily response to stress/anxiety... if it is covid you are very much likely to be ok and so is your mum and son, but I feel for you! I would be the exact same. Take each moment as it comes, try not to predict what’s going to happen. It will be ok xx

SpillTheTeaa · 10/05/2020 22:59

Sorry you feel poorly OP Thanks.
I hope you just got a nasty cold and with everything going on around you it could have just hit you a bit harder.
You've done the right thing isolating away from them.
Can you get a test done?

Pokemontrainer · 10/05/2020 23:22

I wonder if you can get a test given where your mum works?

Please don't feel bad.

Please please please rest and keep hydrated. There are some good threads on mn that helped me when I had covid. If you have a temp and can manage it then that is good as a high temperature will mean your body is making it difficult for the virus.

Take care you can get through this and I think it is wonderful that your mum Can help.

Ginandbitterlemonplease · 10/05/2020 23:24

With my mum being a key worker we can get tests sent out. So she is going to try and sort that tomorrow.
Thank you all for the replies, I’m hoping it is just a nasty cold. I’m going to go back along my home (boiler issue was the reason we moved into mums) and stay there as I don’t want to put anyone more at risk then I already have, plus being able to hear my son but not seeing him will be so hard xxxx

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TobyDeLaris · 10/05/2020 23:26

You've done nothing wrong. It's better that your son has your mum helping if you are ill. Your little boy will be ok. Get well soon

hopsalong · 10/05/2020 23:44

You poor thing. The self-isolation creates panicky thoughts, and you mustn't feel guilty about anything -- none of this is your fault!! I would also agree that if your son is distressed it would be reasonable not to isolate from him. As for you, my practical advice (having recovered at home a few weeks ago) is as follows:

Unless you really can't manage, or fever is very high, then try not to take paracetamol. The fever is good. The virus dies at high temperatures and the fever is the mechanism for getting rid of it.

Take guaifenesin (basic cough medicine) to thin out the secretions. The mucus is so thick you don't SEE it (not like a cold at all) but I felt plugged up for weeks. Also saline nasal spray, hot steamy air (eg stand in bathroom with shower on, as you would for a child with croup). Watch videos on how to cough (JK Rowling posted one) if the cough starts, which it may not.

Consider buying an oximeter to measure your oxygen saturation, that way you can call 111 at first hint of level going down. I didn't do this because it wasn't recommended by anyone in late March. Realistically this is probably overkill anyway unless you have a pre-existing condition. As a young healthy person you have nothing much to fear.

Take zinc and vitamin C supplements.

It's a very up and down illness. The down was never as bad for me as with pneumonia or flu. I didn't call the GP or 111 and never felt in any real danger. But I did start to wonder if I was ever going to recover! After three weeks I started to get a lot better. Now feel completely healthy.

I think it's normal to get pain in lower ribs and back, and for me it felt a bit as if I had acid reflux. This passed after a couple of days and wasn't a severe pain, I just found it a bit frightening.

Consider taking a baby aspirin every day. Lots of evidence to suggest that covid-19 is at least partially a clotting disorder. This made me feel as if I was protecting myself, anyway, and is pretty harmless.

The single most helpful thing for me was very hot baths. I found lying in a hot bath for an hour twice a day very helpful. Otherwise just try to rest, watch TV/ play games on your phone etc, don't expect much of yourself, and drink LOADS of fluids and it too will pass.

Once it does, there is some comfort I think in knowing that you're almost certainly immune for the time being and no longer a potential threat to every elderly person you pass on the street. Even if you're not immune, once you've recovered once there's no reason why you wouldn't a second time.

Ginandbitterlemonplease · 11/05/2020 00:34

Thank you so much @hopsalong for all that helpful advice, gonna make a note of things I need! Xx

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BluSky5 · 11/05/2020 02:47

Not sure whether Aspirin is the best thing to take with a clotting disorder. Might be better to check first.

Ginandbitterlemonplease · 11/05/2020 15:07

Honestly I don’t think I have it. My chest and everything seems to be ok today, no temp no nothing. it’s just the tiredness, I can’t seem to keep awake. Maybe I just have a bad dose of the cold fingers crossed xx

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