How are other parents of children with SEN/EHCP coping without school?

[acidburning]

We're not really.

DS is autistic and not done any work since schools closed. Won't really engage. No siblings and no friends to make contact with. All support and therapy withdrawn except medication increased. Increasing mental health problems etc. The longer it goes on, the less likely we will be able to get him to leave the house / engage in education in the future.

I really hope we get some guidance on schools tomorrow. If it's September for opening or just further open ended waiting, I think I'm going to have to take up an 'EHCP' place that the government said we were entitled to as this isn't sustainable much longer.

How is everyone else doing?

I think a lot of things are getting swept under the carpet because of corona.
It’s so short sighted of these schools not to encourage children in who should be in. I know staff levels are short etc. But come school return it’s going to be a lot harder getting them back in, stay in and engaged

I’m surprised to hear some of your schools aren’t allowing children with EHCPs in. My placement school has them all in even if both parents wfh or have been furloughed. Some aren’t taking up full time places but every child considered vulnerable has a full time place (even if not SEN/PP). It must be very difficult at home for lots of you

@averythinline it's probably too simplistic to say all children with an EHCP can be in. If that were really the case:

• all SEN schools would be open fully or have to open fully
• some schools are closed and sending kids to hubs schools where no one would know them let alone know their EHCP requirements
• even if their own school was open, the routine is different and might need their key workers for help who might not even be working.

I agree though, this is another area which is being brushed under the carpet and ignored in a covid world. Children with SEN have already been shafted and disadvantaged and it's not on anyone's radar - lumped in with the old and vulnerable probably.

Two children with Sen (10 and 7) here. They both have autism and adhd. Both have ehcps. We were offered a place at our 10 year old’s mainstream school but were told the provision would be nothing like school and her ft 1:1 would only be able to do two days a week with her. We’ve had to demand differentiated work as the school work wasn’t anything she could access. She does maths and English and plays a lot on her iPad.

Youngest is more challenging and is at a specialist school which aside from Keyworker kids is shut. She’s fairly chilled out at home though. Very demand avoidant though so any work has to be done by stealth with bribes. She’s fine if left alone. But noisy and my 10 year old dislikes her. Which makes life challenging.

My oldest is 11 and has no needs but isn’t keen to go back to her primary.

I’m trying to fit in work. I feel spread quite thinly and Dh is no help as he’s work albeit from home. I’m also annoyed with our mainstream for not bothering to check on us and not bothering to really look at work for her. But we have a history with them and it’s not brilliant.

@acidburning what I’ve found interesting is the amount of people angry at their kids missing out on an education yet so many children with Sen regularly miss out on education, the placement is crap, they’re let down. They’re not in a placement as nothing is suitable.

@acidburning I know you aren’t replying to me but just thought I’d say, I feel your school aren’t being supportive at all. have they made any effort to accommodate your DS or are they just saying that the government says to stay home?

Dd does have a ehcp and was offered a place but we declined as I was worried about having her in school.

@Sauron oh yes, totally agree. DS has already had his own private lockdown when he fell out of education for over a year and no one in the LEA really cared and there was no bloody joe wicks then!

All the LA special schools in my area are closed to all pupils on the basis that all the pupils have a learning disability and so it is safer for all of them that they don't attend school but the independent special schools do have pupils with a learning disability attending.

Ds is 13 and his special school is only open to key workers and certain children that they deemed to be in need of a place.

Ds was offered a place and I havent taken it up but every day that goes by he is more and more anxious, more meltdowns and more withdrawn. I am really worried about him so I am going to ring on Monday to see if he can go a couple of days a week. I am a key worker and am still working out of the home.

I didnt take the place at first because I thought school being so different would be damaging but the longer this goes on the better option it is.

And he hasnt done any work since the day school closed. He refused to go the thursday/friday after shutdown was announced.

@catsandlavender they've given some work for him (which he won't do as Home is home and school is school) and said the government advice is to stay at home. They will review it after tonight but then will do their own risk assessment as to whether children can come back in any way.

Problem is, even if I do push for an EHCP place, if DS goes, it won't be the same as before so it might make the situation worse....

Tbh I'm so used to being let down by education and just getting on with it and not making a fuss, this doesn't feel too different.

My son is asd in mainstream with a EHCP we tried sending him to school but he was sent home because he didn’t observe Social distancing rules. They were expected to sit in isolation type booths an£ work in complete silence. Well his plan clearly states not possible so it is a waste of time. His anxiety is off the scale, he is not sleeping and is very depressed. Also his annual review is now due

Dd is at independent specialist school and attends twice a week which helps enormously. All children there are offered a couple of days a week which is the most they can manage to ensure staffing etc. They run a normal timetable for the two days they are there and have provided resources for out of school as well. Dd isn't very good at engaging out of school but think that's typical at her school so they work round it.

Ds's school is different from usual because some indoor shared areas are not being used and they are not going offsite which they usually do a lot but he is benefiting from the change of scene, seeing other people and having quiet outdoor space - he won't go into the garden at home due to the noise.

Like @spikeyball all the maintained special schools around here are closed to all pupils but the independent specialists are open.

My 8 year old who has global development delay, he has a EHCP and attends special education school.
When the lockdown was announced he was offered a place in school, i turned it down as i did not want to add pressure to the school anymore and to reduce the risk.
But it has been said by the school that its safer to keep the children home, they are only open for key workers and children who are most vulnerable.
Hes really fed up, and cant wait to to back.
To be honest i cant wait either, its hard enough even in the school holidays when everything was open - but this is extra hard, especially as we cant even go to the park.

Looking forward to tonight's briefing, but i really dont think there will be much change.
Mainly hoping buisnesses start opening so my partner can go back to work.

I've put mine in school. Was the best thing for them. Protecting the vulnerable in my opinion also means protecting those vulnerable for anything else as well as just the virus.

My asd dd was out of mainstream school for two years with poor mental health, she has a place in a lovely school with other children similar to her, and was just starting to improve and engage when lockdown came in. Her mental health is fast going back to where is was and I'm so worried we'll be back to square one with self harm, suicide attempts, no education or leaving the house. It was a hellish time. I completely understand the need to reduce the spread of the virus but the impact for my dd will be absolutely huge. CAHMS have been fab and he psychiatrist agrees with me about her needing to be back in school. We are key workers and she has an EHCP in place but her school has shut and merged with another over an hour away and she's not at a stage where I'd be able to get her into a taxi to go.

I just wish the government would see the damage it's causing our children and reopen SEN schools even for a part time provision.

I just wish

They risk assessed my child and said he wasnt safe to attend as they had closed his building due to staffing issues and the other building wasnt secure or familiar to him - which is true.
I am dreading re-intergration.

I have two boys both with ASD and both with EHC Plans in place. The one in infants is happy doing arts and crafts and floating in the hot tub after our daily cycle ride.. no interaction with the school no offer of a placement.

The other in junior (different school) was offered a placement at school which I declined in writing to keep it all above board..! He was suffering terribly at school with anxiety, self harming and emotionally unstable. We'd tried all sorts of therapy and I was close to removing him from school.. it didn't want to overreact. He's working well on his laptop daily, no promoting. Just doing the work the school have set him with an extra topic thrown in weekly. I have a changed boy!! Thriving, smiling, giggling. I've cried often in the evening about what I've put him through at school. The SENCO has been amazing, calls weekly, paid a visit at Easter with eggs for the boys (at a distance). He agrees my son is far happier and no pressure has been put on us in relation to what the future might be schooling. I'm nervous about the Boris message if I'm honest, I just want us to stay here happy for the summer at least!

It has been difficult to get my ds to do school work at home. He is autistic, likes to follow the same routine everyday. I think what the poster further up the thread said about home being a safe space from school maybe explains why my ds finds it difficult to engage with school at home. I had not thought of. it like that. I find it difficult explaining to the school why he is not handing in a lot of work. They don't seem to understand which makes me feel like I am failing to be a good teacher to ds.

Ds transitions to secondary school after the summer holidays. I don't know how he will cope, especially with the noise.

DD2 is not in the category where she'd be considered for even trying for an EHCP and is well behaved and quiet - so you can imagine how much support we get as a general rule!

She's not coping at all now - total speech regression, very very emotionally wobbly, keeps bursting into tears endlessly and is absolutely terrified of anything flying (even dust floating in the air) to the point she refuses to leave the house at some points. Class teacher is aware - but can't do anything as the Head has absolutely locked down all avenues of communication and won't even consider engaging with parents apart from a weekly grudging email to tell us what we've done wrong this week. Due to transition to the juniors in September - no transition arrangements taking place and haven't even had any dialogue with the new school SENCO as that was cancelled due to COVID.

With how badly she's affected she really needs to be brought into school as a vulnerable child (she has an older sibling with suspected ASD who is becoming increasingly violent as lockdown goes on - but this child masks well at school so no one believes our problems) but there's no option for any support at all. I'm really really concerned for her.

Schools are undertaking risk assessments on all of their YP with EHCPs. If the risk is high, then they must be offered a package to mitigate this risk by the LA. This could be outreach, additional social care support, education placement (either at their school or a hub school) or therapeutic input. If you aren't happy with your provision then call your school and ask for help. If they don't help you then call your plan co. There are strategies (and budgets) at your LA to help you. If you don't think your school has flagged you, flag yourself with the LA!

Hi. Honest answer, I’m hanging on by a thread. My ds is 9 and has autism and adhd. I home schooled him for most of last year after he was kicked out of his 3rd mainstream school! I fought my LA all the way to keep him out of their choice of specialist school (Semh) but other schools refused to offer him a place and after almost a year at home and him refusing to do any work, falling further behind and me struggling to cope, I felt I had no choice but to concede and agree for him to go the LA school.

He only started in January and pretty much from day one we had issues. He absolutely hates it there. He’s been attacked by other kids ie punched, slammed into a wall grabbed by the neck etc. Yet his teacher, who does not get him, blames him saying he winds the other kids up. It’s a behavioural school and whilst I don’t deny my ds has behaviours, he also has autism which impacts how he thinks and behaves. There is only one other child in the whole school who has autism and staff have two day training on the condition a year and that’s it, so they’re out of their death I think when it comes to my son and meeting his needs. He has an Ehcp but it isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. My dh works but I’m a sahm and we can’t afford to pay for the private assessments needed to ensure it shows all of our ds’s needs. As he has the ehcp technically he could go to school but staff know I’m a sahm and so have discouraged me from sending him. I don’t want him to go don’t get me wrong but I’m struggling at home with him too. We have had issues with his sleep before ie stopping up until all hours then wanting to sleep until the afternoon. Just as I managed to get his sleep under control again he’s now gone back to how it was before. I can’t get him to settle until the early hours and then when I try to wake him late morning he gets aggressive with me shouts screams hits out etc. He hardly eats which worries me. He lost weight a few months back and hasn’t gained any of it back yet as he refuses to eat most things I offer. I let him choose his own food but that’s hasn’t helped as he just says he is not hungry. He doesn’t want to go out for a walk or play in the garden. All he wants to do is sit in his room and play on his tablet. My dh is still working full time and I won’t leave my ds with his older brother even though he’s almost 18 not even for half an hour why I nip to the shops or go for a walk round the block, as my son is unpredictable and things can escalate just like that. So on the whole things aren’t great right now.