To be scared life could be over for us soon

[Pennypopsicle]

I am level headed. With everything I've tried my best to stay positive. But I am so worried for the future. All I see ahead is risk, worry and sadness. I just can't seem to shake of the fear feeling today. I fear this virus because it makes you incredibly sick. I have two small kids. I just don't know what to do. I've got a "coronabox* in my bedroom. It contains Vicks, tissues, paracetamol and cough mixture. I therefore know I have at least 4 days worth of medicine if I get it. I live with my partner too. But I am so scared for our children. I feel like I've got to accept I may well die from this or my partner may well die from this. It is rare. But it has happened.

If anything happens to us I have no idea what I want for my kids. We both have sisters. But ones skint and the other lives far away. Our parents are not fit enough to raise them. We have life insurance but we have not made a will.

I can't see life being as it was ever again. We have parents in their 60s and 70s. I don't know if they will survive this pandemic. They all have high blood pressure. My dad has bad lungs. He worked with asbestos years ago and it's scarred them on the outside and caused one to be damaged at the bottom inside. I am just sad because there won't be a vaccine before things start to lift.

My kids have not been anywhere and neither have we. Just walks. I've had food delivered. But my five year old is starting with a cold and my toddler has a weak voice. I am thinking have we caught it out on a walk. Is this the start of it. Will I be dead by the end of the month. (dramatic I know)

It's just 90 NHS workers have died. The prime minister nearly died. So why should I be ok?

Even going into hospital terrifies me. What will happen to the kids.

How is everyone dealing with the fear?

I just can't seem to shake of the fear

You are anxious. Your anxiety is focusing on Covid 19 as a "hook" for the fears. There's no point in people putting stats about how unlikely you are to die because the anxiety will keep coming back with a little voice saying that you could well be that 1 in a 100,000 who does die. It's no way to live and once Covid 19 passes, you'll find something else to be anxious about if you don't deal with it. My top tips would be:

Headspace app - free to download for a trial, totally brilliant. Meditation which forces you to calm down and stop thinking about the what ifs.

Lots of techniques online about grounding - concentrating on what you can feel right now, the sensation of your breathing, what you can here. Everything is OK now and now is the only thing which is real.

CBT - you can get online referrals to do this which is about changing the way you think and gives you ways of dealing with these anxious patterns of thinking.

GP - if none of that helps, see your GP. They can refer you for counselling (online or video chat rather than face to face at the moment), or antidepressants.

But the key is recognising that it's not really about the Covid19, is it?

Always important to have a will and discuss children's arrangements if the worst happens.

The stats for getting this and recovering are very good. The death rates are appalling and yes some people have been very ill but others have had it very mildly and some people asymptomatically.

Your children may well have hayfever.

Please get help for your anxiety. This is no way to live.

We appointed two guardians for our DD, one from each side of the family, discussed our wishes with them, ie we were happy for DD to live with either but if they felt it was better for her to live with someone else, then could agree to it. A Will can have clauses written in it that allows the trustees to use any money put in trust for your DC until they're 18, for the benefit of your DC, ie for food, clothes, schools trips etc before then. That way if your DC wanted to live with your skint relative, the relative shouldn't incur too much in the way of extra costs.

It's not easy at the moment and I think we're all going to have a good wobble at times. I had mine a couple of weeks ago, feel much better now. It sounds like you're well prepared in terms of medicines and are obviously following the restrictions, that's going to go a long way towards your family avoiding it - glad you've been out as mentally and physically it's so good for your all. People who aren't working will need to go back, but hopefully employers will have to keep things as safe as possible for them, on top of which we can try and keep our distance and on top of personal hygiene.

You and your dp both need to make a will. You should have one anyway, even without the current situation, especially since you have children.

Make that one step. It will be one less thing to worry about.

I suspect the long-term risk to their mental health will not be good. (Not to mention their material well being.)

The stats I have seen show that children are safer right now. Anything else is speculation.

How do we know their mental health won't actually benefit from this time? As far as I'm aware, there isn't much evidence either way. We can take steps to look after their mental health and ours, absolutely, but I don't know that extrapolating unknowns is very helpful. Likely to lead to anxiety, even!

Try not to worry - I tested positive yesterday after mild flu type symptoms. It’s been horrible but ok and I’m on the mend now. I think my 10 year old had it too, he had a mild fever and a day on the sofa.

You’re doing the right thing being prepared, it sounds as though you may need some professional help for anxiety.

Try not to overworry about something that isn’t certain. Easier said than done I know.
There are six of us in our house ranging from just four to forty. We have all had it. The children have all had it mildly especially my youngest who has been admitted to hospital six times with breathing difficulties including two stays in the high dependency unit.
I had it worse, but I am a teacher and got it just as the schools were shutting as did give of my colleagues. Honestly, it wasn’t nice and I needed monitoring by our oncall dr over the phone but I managed at home. My colleagues were the same as me (we think we had a high viral load from school) but their families also had it mildly.
I hope that reassures you

As of 2019 the NHS employed around 1.5million personnel, 1.2million of those being in England.

I hope that puts some perspective on the deaths of NHS employees. Don't get me wrong, it is scary that they are catching it and dying, but proportionally it's a low number.

I understand it is difficult and an incredibly anxious time. All you can do is keep yourself within the lockdown guidelines and keep taking those practical steps to avoid it. I also second perhaps seeking mental health assistance. A lot online and via phone right now.

Yes, people have died from coronavirus. Globally they reckon 250000 people have died from it. But over 3 million people have had it and over 1 million have recovered.

A man was on the radio today. He's an explorer and a writer. He was put into a medical coma for five weeks, spent seven weeks in hospital. He was among the first to fall ill in his area of the country and was on a ventilator most of the time in hospital. His family were told he had 20% chance of survival. He came out on Monday and celebrates his 84th birthday on Thursday and is doing very well.

Yes a lot of people have died. Yes a lot more will but people survive. Look at things like the bubonic plague. That was a thing to strike fear into people for centuries in this country. But people survived it. They must have or we all wouldn't be here!

The NHS workers have, unfortunately, a bigger chance of getting it as they are face to face with people who have it. In most people's case, including yours, you first have to be in direct (face to face or touching surfaces they've touched) contact with a person who has Covid19. Then it has to enter your body somehow. Then it has to attack so badly you go to hospital. Then your body has to not be able to fight it. That's a lot of if, buts and maybes.

Be sensible, do your best to protect your family and yourself and get the will drawn up. Life changes all the time. We get ill, we get better. We get a good job, good pay. We lose a job. Everyone has good times and bad times. We just keep our fingers crossed that science, God or whatever you want to put your faith in finds a way through this and as many as possible come out the other side ready to bore our future grandchildren silly with stories of 'the coronavirus lockdown'.

Take care. You will get through this.

My dad had Covid 19. Positive test. He's 75. Has no pituitary gland (destroyed by an adenoma). He's on steroids for life because of this. He developed diabetes from the steroids. He had a mild heart attack years ago and had stents put in. He is very overweight. He has high blood pressure. He takes a rake of tablets some of which very few people would be on. And he has sleep apnoea. His GP wasn't even sure if he should put him in for a test as his symptoms were quite mild. His Cpap probably kept him alive and out of hospital. I am on Warfarin. I have to attend hospital for blood tests very regularly. I have health issues. I have been about 2 feet away from suspected Covid 19 patients in the A and E 4 times in March when I had very severe nose bleeds. I'm still here. And I'll be going into the hospital on Thursday morning again. This hospital has the second highest numbers of positive cases in ICU in Ireland.

I know it's really hard and it is very frightening but the way I see it you can't worry too much. I might die from it. You might die from it. There again, when it's not lock down, I drive a car pretty much every day. That could kill me too. Any of us could be hit by the proverbial bus on any day. Life is generally risky and there are absolutely no guarantees for any of us.

Making a will to make provision for your kids is always a good idea coronavirus or no coronavirus.

All we can do is follow government advice about social distancing. Like others have said maybe look at some mental health support and meditation.

I don't think you are silly OP...nearly 30,000 people have died so it is a thing. But maybe for your own wellbeing you should not listen to the news, stay off social media etc and do some relaxing things to try and calm you down - am sure the children will pick up on your anxiety which won't help. I did a sheet for husband in case l die cos he doesn't have a clue about the house bulls or anything and like you, l am a rational person. Xxxx

I feel exactly the same.
Have a look at this thread though, its reassuring:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3877895-The-people-who-ve-Had-It-but-been-actually-TESTED?pg=7

A few things that I find help with perspective (for me)

• on a normal day in the UK 1500 people die. So the numbers of covid deaths are not great in relation to that
• children extremely extremely rarely get very ill with it, you really don't need to worry for their health beyond any fears you'd already have around your kids getting s serious illness (sadly there are many other th ings kids can get ill with)
• my husband spent 2.5 hours in a car with a person that developed covid 24 hrs later. He did not get it. It is infectious but you are not SURE to get it even from a highly infectious person

As others have said, write a will. It is actually a very positive thing to do. Sending you best wishes that you feel better about this all soon.

5th Vit D3 study from Belgium.

Males showed markedly higher percentage of vitamin D deficiency ..Vit D deficiency is a possible risk factor for severe infection in males. Vit D3 supplementation might be an inexpensive, accessible and safe mitigation for covid

Link :
www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.05.01.20079376v1