Scared of normal life...

[grumpyorange]

Before we start this thread. I am fully aware that some people are still going out to work and risking their lives everyday. I am also fully aware that mental health for lots has relapsed etc however...

Is anyone else absolutely terrified of things going back to 'normal'. After being told by the government you can't go within 2 meters of someone, you can only go out For limited reasons, you can't see family being told off you go just be sensible is terrifying. Yes I want to see family but I've spent so long now avoiding other people, being scared of other people getting to close that the notion of getting physically close to people again seems completely alien.

In addition I'm currently on mat leave, I really really struggled before lockdown being at home with DS all day by myself and we could not afford for me to go back to work due to childcare costs. Since lockdown DP has been working from home and the relief and support has been amazing. The thought of him going back to work in a week or so is absolutely terrifying and to be honest I don't know how I am going to cope (especially as DS has become very attached to him to the point if he walks out the room we have a tantrum on our hands). It got to the point before DP was at home that i was contemplating the s word as I was so run down and alone all day.

Apart from walks every couple of days none of us have left the house and the thought of being released is scary!

Is anyone the same as me?

I work in a rural gp surgery (admin) & the rooms are tiny, have never been able to socially distance from my colleagues, so I don't feel frightened of people as I haven't been separated from them if that makes sense.

I haven't been poorly & neither have my colleagues, we had out first case of coronavirus over a week ago, & we haven't been infected that we are aware of, so this has given me some confidence that hygiene measures, we have increased practice cleaning, to include all touch points, and have access to wipes & hand gel, are working.

So in answer to your question - I suggest when the time is right for you to build your confidence up gradually. I believe that with increased hygiene measures & not spending time in a coughing or sneezing persons space will be enough to protect healthy people without underlying health problems. This has been my experience so far.

I hope this helps you, take the pressure of yourself as far as you can, maybe a summer at home or walks & a quiet autumn/winter will suit you anyway. Your small baby will be developing all the time, and things change with that, they play on their own for a bit longer, they might watch a cbeebies programme. Small developments give you small breaks and you are able to cope better with time. I wish you well.

Yes - I think it's because I haven't been out so in my mind if I do go out I'm not going to be safe. Whereas obviously if you out and about and working then you won't have the same mentality. It is quite a tricky one.

Thank you though

Really feel for you grumpy. I’m due back from mat leave in less than a month and I haven’t really left the house since lockdown. I’m scared of going out into the real world. I have anxiety issues and I think this is really twigged them to get pretty bad. Atm I can’t see me leaving the house much let alone teaching students (I’m a teacher). The annoucement for reopening schools in the next week or so has me scared. I’m just not sure I can do it. I guess I’ll have to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Please please get some help if you ever feel that low again! Even if not for you, please for your ds. It breaks my heart to think of what struggles so many mums go through.

Does dp know how bad it was? I also wonder if longterm a better plan can be in place.

For example, it may be dp can push to work from home a lot more if it has been managed successfully to date. He can always ask and that the approach can be more to his boss 'why not?' I think cultures will shift.

@HelloItsmeAgain1 towards the end DP was aware and did his upmost to support me. I cannot fault him at all. He is going to speak to his boss about a phased return so that we can build up the hours again and if needs be he has worked overtime so we could use unpaid leave to build it up.

I'm also having a couple of job interviews now that DS is nearer a year old which would add some routine and structure back into place but then I feel guilty leaving him. It's such a predicament!

Thank you though

@Reastie it's very hard isn't it. Whilst I am very grateful for those who have continued working it is very hard for those of us who have ground to a halt and have been told to shelter away from everyone etc. It's a completely different feeling and I don't think the two experiences can or should be compared.
Good luck to you with whatever you decide to do. Could you switch and become a tutor instead?

I think not going out affects you way more than going to work OP. I have been to work every week day and doing some wfh at the weekend, but not leaving the house. During the week I feel OK, but on Monday mornings after just the weekend at home I feel a little anxious to be going back into work and into a huge building full of other people. I can imagine I'd feel significantly more trepidation after a very much longer period of time at home.

I do leave the house to exercise at weekends, but that's it!

@YouStupidBoy oh yes I totally agree. Those who have gone shopping or out to work etc can see what it's like and have 'survived' as such those of us who have not really ventured past the front door have become more fearful about what will happen etc.
It's a tricky situation

Very tricky @grumpyorange. I also know that our workplace at least is looking into doing something around reintegrating those who have been at home not working but on full pay (because they are vulnerable and their job cannot be done from home) and those who have been wfh or mainly wfh and those of us who have had to come in every day as this sort of situation can become pretty divisive. I do know that as someone who has had to come into the workplace every day as opposed to not at all or once or twice a week that my workload and stress has increased as has my risk of contracting Covid - 19 (some in my workplace have tested positive), but I am genuinely grateful to have a job and just go in and get it done. There is no point in dwelling on perceived wrongs is there and we are all finding this situation a challenge in different ways.

Perhaps OP you could move from a walk every couple of days to building up their frequency until you go most days and then every day (if safe for you of course!!) so that it doesn't seem such a giant leap when the restrictions are eased?

Op I know, it’s so tough isn’t it. Ime the first step is the hardest. I know when I have to go out my anxiety will be worse, I kmow I’ll find things really difficult and it’ll be really scary, but I also know the mechanics of anxiety and that if I don’t push myself in small manageable ways I will relapse into a dark place and probably get too scared to ever go out. I think you need to just take things gradually and each day as it comes. See if you can walk to the post box one day or to the end of the road and back. Get some sun on your face and fresh air outside. Focus on positive things and that this will be over. It is only temporary. You can and will get through this.

I feel exactly the same op.
I started a similar thread a week or so ago.
I'm terrified.