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Is anyone actually seeing less of DP during lockdown?

3 replies

MaidofMuswell · 03/05/2020 08:11

DH and I both work full time and v lucky to have not been furloughed. We also have two pre school aged children and are more lucky still to have 4h childcare a day because I’m a teacher and even though I’ve not had to go in for a few weeks now because so few kids attending still pre recording lessons and marking work for all my classes.

The thing is, if anything, my workload is as much as it was before because of the weekly calls home to lots of students, the fact I’m still fairly useless with tech so recording one twenty minute instruction video takes me normally over an hour plus editing and where I wouldn’t normally mark every piece of class work in depth, only assessments and homework I’m marking it all now because the kids deserve acknowledgment and motivation for all the efforts they’re putting in. I’ve got three online weekly meetings all of which are constructive and necessary eg discussing sharing out planning, support for vulnerable students etc so none I can sack off or suggest we don’t need.

Meanwhile my DH has his first conference call at seven am and then pretty much constant calls throughout the day. He, along with the others at his firm, is at significant risk of redundancy and almost certainly doing more than is essential but probably needs to to show commitment and try to save the business. I have the kids in the afternoon, he then takes over for bedtime and then I do the work I didn’t do in the morning in the evening and then over the weekend too.

We’re sharing the laundry and cooking and housework pretty evenly and I can’t work out if we’re being madly inefficient or something but we are genuinely barely seeing each other - it’s like a conveyor belt of shifts between work, childcare, housework etc. We maybe watch some Netflix in the weekend evenings but both feeling constantly knackered despite losing the commutes and not having to do formal home schooling or anything. The house is hardly a show home either, it’s just basic laundry, cooking and minimal cleaning we’re doing.

Is this familiar to anyone? None of my other friends both work full time, feel like we must be doing something wrong.

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 03/05/2020 08:18

We don't work full time but we don't have childcare for our 3yo so we are taking it in turns to do work and childcare, DH is working a bit at the weekend, and of course there's all the shopping, cooking and washing up (relentless when we're all eating at home at the time) plus the other household tasks. We are also exhausted - me in particular as I'm pregnant - so we are trying to factor in a bit of time to rest.

As a result we barely have any quality time together, less time at weekends and in the evenings we just collapse on the sofa to watch a bit of tv before going to bed (which is not hugely different from usual except that we would occasionally have a date night).

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, lockdown is just bloody hard and especially when you're trying to keep up full time hours when you have young kids.

MaidofMuswell · 03/05/2020 08:42

I think the cooking is a big part actually yeah - three meals for four people every day... god it is relentless isn’t it.. shopping also more logistically tough too. I think I just don’t cope very well with situations I feel no control over and want there to be a sort of a “hack” - sorry to hear you’re in similar boat and suspect you’re right it’s just crap for everyone - good luck with pregnancy I rememebr how knackering it can be! Xxx

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 03/05/2020 10:12

Thank you! Not due until September so I'm just praying things might be a bit more normal by then Confused

Totally agree with you about the meal planning and cooking feeling relentless. The only "hack" I can think of is to have the occasional takeaway (luckily we still have options) or a posh ready meal - I bought some Cook ones as a treat. Still have to buy them and wash up but no cooking at least! DH puts a lot of pressure on himself to do decent home cooked meals and I keep saying it's OK to cheat at the moment.

The only other "hack" I can think of is to get a robot hoover, as we're not doing a lot of hoovering atm Blush

Apart from that I'm just praying for nursery to reopen at some point soon before we go completely mad!

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