Childcare help!!!

[ivfbabymomma1]

I'm sorry for any typos I'm in a bit of a mess and not thinking straight.

I've just been on 9 months maternity I was due to go back to work this week but I got furloughed. Anyway my boss called today and said we can all back to work from Monday (key workers but not in heath industry and social distancing in place - small business etc etc) we were furloughed whilst they worked out the safety measures.

It was a big shock as I didn't realised we were classed as key workers but anyway the main issue is my plan all along was for my parents to have my DS 3 days a week so I haven't got any professional child care in place.

So can my parents still have him?? Even thought lockdown won't be over?

Thank you!

Are you in the UK?
Some Registered childminders and some private nurseries are still open for keyworkers children.

Contact your local authority for a list.

Hello op
No your not supposed to use grandparents for childcare. It's mixing households and is not safe for anyone. Is there anyway you can extend your maternity leave? Taking the full year or using up your accrued holiday? Maybe your employer will continue to furlough you until lockdown is ended? I have 2 small children and I am still working while my partner is furloughed. If he's called back in we're in the same situation. My support network are over 70 and my mum is recovering from cancer.
Luckily my boss is most supportive so I say talk to your employer first, these are exceptional times after all.

Thank you!!! I'll have a chat with my boss.

In the back of my head I knew I can't use them. I was just panicking and dumping my thoughts on the post!

I am in the UK but nursery fees are more than my part time wage which I need and also why my parents kindly agreed to have DS 3 days a week before this all happened

Can I extend my maternity even thought I technically came off maternity last Monday?

Thank you!!

Congratulations anyway on your little one. I understand how stressful this must be, it's bad enough going back to work under normal circumstances without the added stress of all this. Your baby comes first, hopefully your employer will see that and give some flexibility, hopefully we will see some restrictions eased next week with regards to immediate family, which may help.

Childminders are cheaper and more flexible than nurseries. Maybe you can find one locally who would have a place for a keyworker.

@ShutUpaYourFace thank you so much! I've spoke to my boss this morning as he has said I will only go back when the sales can cover the overheads and wages so hopefully that has bided me some time to get childcare sorted!!! Thank you

I'm so glad you've got a bit a breathing space. As other poster said if you're a key worker you are entitled to childcare but this takes time to arrange, usually little ones need settling in days, you need to meet so on.
I sent mine to nursery and mixed between grandparents and nursery to cut costs. Approx £65 per day where we are. Very expensive and without grandparents it wouldn't be worthwhile going back to work at all. Maybe restrictions will be eased so your parents are able to help. The situation is constantly changing. Good luck

I know I will be flamed for this but.... if you parents are fit and healthy then handing your child over to them instead of a childminder makes no difference in terms of everyones risk. In fact it lowers the risk as your child won't be mixing with other children and adults outside of your small family bubble.

Lockdown will be over soon and I assume your parents are going to be in the small bubble of people you will see. Therefore they would be better doing the childcare for you, than you sending your child to mix with other children and adults and then still mixing with grandparents anyway.

Obviously if your parents are elderly or vulnerable and you had planned not to see them even after lockdown, or to ensure you are always 6ft away from them then you are going to have to find some professional childcare. But if your child is going to be hugging grandma in a few weeks then they might as well be doing the childcare for you!

@ShutUpaYourFace No your not supposed to use grandparents for childcare. It's mixing households and is not safe for anyone

But sending a child to a childminder or nursery is mixing more than one family as they are likely to be looking after several children at once.

If grandparents are young and healthy then its less risk to use them for childcare. The big issue is how young and healthy the grandparents are really. My Mum is younger than some of the nursery workers at my sons preschool!

I like the new zealand version of social distancing where you create a bubble of friends and family and everyone agrees not to meet anyone outside the bubble.

I agree about the childminder. Grandparents are definitely the best and safest option but the government advice is not to mix households and not to use grandparents as childcare. This is for the safety of the grandparents. OP if you have young grandparents under 70 with no underlying health conditions then speak to them and see how they feel. If you all agree go for it.
Hopefully the advice will change soon with rules around immediate family relaxed. I like the family bubble idea but I guess it depends on the family.

Thank you so much for your advice!!! I was so scared posting this as I thought I would get absolutely flamed! Yes my parents will be in that bubble if that's how lockdown gets relaxed which I do hope it does as that's a really good idea!

Well I've bided my time for 2/3 weeks possibly on furlough so hopefully my parents can take him then. They are fit & healthy with no issues but they are 65 which i guess in itself is the risk!

In also really sad about going back to work after my maternity but that's for a different thread once I actually have a return to work date lol!

If you only came off maternity leave last Monday so got furloughed then, you can't return Monday coming. You need to be furloughed for 3 weeks minimum

Myself and a sibling both have to use a grandparent for childcare, both keyworkers 1 works nights the other not entitled to keyworker places due to one parent not being high enough up the keyworker tree. Grandparent is fit, healthy and over 70. However this is the bubbles set up for nwed. Only used when needed, minimal contact between adults and in fairness less contact between kids and grandarent than between pupils and staff in school hub. We all have to try our hardest to keep sd but we would be 1 nurse and 1 teacher down without my parent. And we can't furlough only leave without pay if we can't work.

@eachdubh sounds exactly like my situation! I'm looking to this bubble idea coming into place!!

I didn't know that about the 3 weeks minimum!!! So the earliest I can go back is the 11th! Hopefully the bubble idea will be confirmed by then!

Thank you all again!!

Hopefully it buys you some time OP. The bubble idea has been in the papers and announced by the first minister in Scotland as a possible way to relax the lockdown in the first stages. Basically one household can mix with one or two other households, just not vulnerable one's. I'm sure Boris will let us know if this can happen when he outlines things on the 7th

My child has to go to a grandparents while I’m at work as I have no other childcare and haven’t been furloughed and am also not a ‘key worker’ we have gone with keeping only between our 2 homes. Like other countries have tried we have our own ‘little bubble’. There is no contact between Adults just a wave from the end of the path as child walks along it either end.

Will also add grandparents are not Older grandparents either they are both just under 60 and both healthy. So fingers crossed risk is also reduced.

There are lots of considerations here and different people will interpret differently;
How ‘at risk’ will you be in your key worker role?
Will you be able to complete proper social distancing whilst at work?
Do your parents have any existing health issues? Diabetes etc?
Whilst it may not be ideal I would probably still allow parents to look after LO if they are happy. You will likely increase everyone’s risk doing this so you all have to be happy with the decision.
Fo you have a partner? Are they a key worker too?

Yes my DH is a key worker so we work the same hours but he is completely isolated from other people.
My office have spread us out one person per room (small company of 10 people)
So the risks to us are minimal. I think if I go back and Boris doesn't relax anything on the 7th then he will go to my parents. As you say lower risk that a nursery right now.

Thank you so much for all your help, as I said I expected to get flamed for this post

@ivfbabymomma1 everyone’s situation is different and that’s what everyone is not understanding and also people are not weighing up the risks for each case.
You have to do what you think is right in your situation I have and at the moment I am happy with my child being looked after by grandparents and everything is working fine and more importantly everyone is healthy fingers crossed that continues.

I read a thread on here the other day and a poor woman was at work and a grandparent was looking after her son the poor woman was literally bullied non stop by one particular mumsnetter it was horrible to read, the poor mum even received personal inboxes stating she was wrong and needed more education. It was horrible. Poor lady has deleted her account now. People can be really horrible when there is no need for it. Glad your thread went a better way op

@alicemovedtothecity

That's horrible poor women!!!

I'm glad there are some understanding helpful people around! Sometimes you've made your decision in your head but you need reassurance etc

Non of my friends are in this situation but a lot co parent so it's sort of the same thing right? 🤣🤣

I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for your family-look after yourselves and good luck with your return to work

Thank you! @whattodowithaminute

I am in the UK but nursery fees are more than my part time wage which I need and also why my parents kindly agreed to have DS 3 days a week before this all happened

If you are on a low wage, UC will cover up to 80% of your childcare costs making it pretty affordable (I never had grandparents to help and had at some point had 2 DDs in a childcare - the UC help with childcare costs made it financially worthwhile even though the fees were higher than my wage). Have you done the maths?