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How long do we do this for?

4 replies

Nonononon · 29/04/2020 19:17

Slightly complicated situation so bare with me.

Me and dds dad have been separated for almost 5 years now, broke up when dd was a baby. Things are fine between us now and we've straightened everything out.

Dd stays with her dad for 2.5 days per week (two nights, half day on Saturday) when I'm at work. Thing is. He lives with his mum who is vulnerable (I think). Something about the medication she takes for arthritis lowering her immune system and she's in her mid 60s.

Well when all this started, the day before lock down, I had been sent home from work as I hadn't been feeling well (I'm a care worker) on the advice of the gp and was told to isolate for 7 days.. and not to see dd. Well all hell broke loose at her grandmas house as her uncle was also there and they didn't want dd in the house in case she brings the virus into their house.
They were all arguing and as I had just been with dd the day before I got sent home I figured if I did have the virus chances are she would have had it too so i decided to go get her as I didn't want her in a house with people arguing about her very presence there. I also picked up her dad and he came with us, with us thinking the lock down would only last a week or two..
I rely on him for childcare whilst I'm at work (in a live in carer for the two days he has her) and obviously he didn't want to not see her for weeks at a time.

We get on ok. But like everyone I really want things back to normal and I want my house back to myself!

How are we going to get around this?
I mean, I'm the weak link, everyone else is staying at home but I'm going to work, then I go to get a food shop and come home. So I'm the one who could infect people and obviously dd can't go back to her grandmas house because I'm working and there's a chance I could pass it on to dd who could then give it to her grandma.

I'm trying. We're managing ok and it's been nice to have company during this but I really can't live with my ex for much longer.

What are my options?
Wait till there's a vaccine then she can go back to her grandmas/dad's?
Shut up, put up and be grateful I can work? (Which I am, but he's been here for about 6 weeks now and I'm getting a bit fed up and would like to be able to imagine light at the end of the tunnel at some point..)

OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 29/04/2020 19:53

Why does he live with his mum? Is finding his own accommodation in any way possible?

Nonononon · 29/04/2020 20:14

Doubt it.
When I kicked him out he moved straight in with his mam.
I don't want to talk shit about him but let's just say he's a bit of a man child.. He says it's too expensive to have your own place,..
But it's part of life right? He's kind of a dosser tbh..

But yes, that would certainly be the best option for everyone.. but oh no! He'll have bills to pay! The horror.. 🙄

OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 29/04/2020 20:41

Ah. That’s difficult then. Tent in the garden? Camper van? Does he even work?

Nonononon · 30/04/2020 07:53

Yes he had a job but is furloughed (sp?) Now.. he's never been clear about how many hours he does so not sure if it's ft or pt but he would be able to get his own place. I guess he's scared of the responsibility? He's a 34 year old man btw..
If this goes on for much longer he may start thinking seriously about it.
I'll plant a few seeds here and there too.. Wink

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