How the hell do you concentrate on your work at home with DC’s around?

[Littlemiss74]

I am wfh busier than ever due to nature of my role. DH has been furloughed which is a big help as he can do schooling. He sits with my DS 13 and helps him as he gets easily distracted and would disappear otherwise.

DH is quite impatient and him and ds are frequently raising their voices at each other to the point I can’t concentrate on my work. DH gets frustrated with DS who really doesn’t want to to do the work and spends time gazing out the window.

DD 7 is upset as she is not getting as much help with her work but also she is better at doing it on her own than ds. Every so often she puts her head round the door and says mummy can you help me as daddy is busy with ds. I feel so bad as I’m busy with work and feel torn between that and helping her.

This morning they’ve been raising voices again and I’ve just realised I’ve made a mistake at work. Not major but I’m still annoyed at myself.

DH and me are becoming very snappy with each other. It’s wearing me down now and I’ve just burst into tears after emailing my boss to tell her about my mistake.

Doss anyone else feel similar? It feels like an impossible situation and it’s taking it’s toll in many ways.

I'm finding it very hard to look after a toddler and work. One or the other gets a bit neglected. The toddler is parked in front of the iPad a bit too much some days.
Your DH should be able to manage two children of that age.
Could you have a don't disturb me for an hour and then 10 mins with them? A timer for DS 20 mins really hard work and 10 mins break repeated throughout the day?
It is an impossible situation for many of us, you have my sympathy.

We have got a kind of timetable in place with regular breaks. Trying to do 30 mins work and then a short break but I think my ds has problems focussing so he is not actually working for 30 mins.Then when the break is over DH has a struggle to get him to come back!
I’ve tried telling DH to relax a bit and just do what they can but I think he just gets frustrated as he thinks ds isn’t making any effort. I do wonder myself if he has attention problems that go deeper but DH won’t hear of it.

I just feel that everyone feels low and fed up. I know there are far worse things going on but I struggle with mental health anyway and this situation is tense and I just feel despairing.

I only have one teen at home and he doesn't bother me much for help, but I'm finding it very hard. We have a strict schedule but I cannot sit next to him to check he isn't whiling away the hours on the internet. He's a bit lonely too, poor lad.

The constant guilt at leaving my desk to see how he's doing, fielding emails from teachers, going through lists of tasks to check he's doing what he should, policing his submissions, it's constant. And at the moment I have a lot of work on, for which I am very grateful because many of my colleagues are partially or fully furloughed.

It seems to me that the kids will return having had vastly different experiences. The ones with a non-working or furloughed parent at home will have had a whole lot more input than mine.

I am totally half-assing both parenting and work most days because I cannot do both at the same time to a good standard.

DH and I do shifts but the kids are loud (6&3) amd our house isn't big enough to toally escape the noise. Plus they just come and find me all. the. time.

I have taken some leave to ease the burden and work less days per week, is that an option? I've taken a day a week for 5 weeks to have a 100% school work day with no distractions. Not sustainable beyong that point though so if the lockdown continues on it will be back to square one.

Its a nightmare.

I am making mistakes and not concentrating on anything properly. I am being constantly interrupted.

If my husband gets involved there is hugely a fight between him and my eldest daughter.

My 2 are the same age as yours OP.

Your DH should be able to manage schooling both of them. As he is furloughed and you are working this is his responsibility while you are working. He needs to get on with it.

What has worked for me when DP is schooling ours:

Taking myself off to a different room to focus on your work.
Agreeing with DP what the kids will be working on that week (we alternate days as both work p/time) and what resources we are going to use- stuff school have sent, bbc bitesize etc.
Making sure it's not all 'sitting at the table learning' as not everyone responds well to that. our youngest needs to be up and about - yesterday I turned his times tables into a hopscotch game with chalks.
Doing life skills- esp for my eldest- baking, cooking simple meals, putting the washing on, writing a letter to his grandparents etc.
Taking a walk, cycle etc to break up the day
No screen time (Xbox) till work is done!