"Contact clusters" - how is this actually going to work?

[Freethefrogs]

I keep seeing this idea mentioned as a possible way of easing the lockdown when it's safe to do so, as in choosing 10 or so people you can see rather than just your household. I can see how this might work if you're a very small nuclear family and have no desire to see any extended family, but for many others it will be almost impossible to execute. Take, for example, my own family situation. I live with my DH and our five year old. Both our parents are divorced and remarried. Both step parents on both sides have children of their own. We all get along brilliantly and see grandparents (all in their 50s, none vulnerable) 2-3 times a week. I have two siblings still living at home with my mum and stepdad. One of them has a girlfriend he doesn't live with. Her parents are also divorced.

I just can't get my head round how it would work. Like, even if I chose to see my mum only, and not my dad, well she lives with my stepdad, who will want to see his own children, who will want to see their own mother, who lives with her husband, who will also want to see his own children.

I'm one of five siblings so even at a small family gathering of immediate family only, 10 would be far exceeded!

Anyone else been thinking about this?

Definitely think this should be more to help people who are alone right now. I've just spent the past 5 weeks alone, and so has my partner. Both single households, WFH etc. So no risk there - just want to see another human!

If you're both WFH and isolating I'm sorry but I honestly don't see the risk in you seeing each other. If I was in that situation right now I would definitely be seeing my partner.

I'm very curious to see how this will work - and who will 'police' it? I mean, no one is actually going to check who is on your list, there won't be a database to refer to, so the chances of the system being abused are sky high.

That said, we're lucky in that we have not much family. But to keep the cluster even smaller we've already agreed that myself and our DD would only see my parents, DH and our DD would only visit his mum and the three of us would see one set of close friends who also only have a DD. And presumably we shall all be expected to keep 2m apart still?

Aargh this is a total nightmare.

I'd have to choose between the needs of my parents who have disabilities and no one else and my only child who needs social contact.

But will your parents not be seeing anyone else longwhisker? And your DH's mum won't see anyone else? And your close friends and their DD won't be seeing any family of theirs?

No it won't be 2m apart. I saw my mum in her front garden the other day when I dropped food to her and we stayed 2 m apart, that would be pointless. I'll be giving them hugs!

Longwhiskers that would require being allowed to
Include 4 households wouldn't it?

This is what I mean, people think it'll be easy for them but it won't.

And presumably we shall all be expected to keep 2m apart still

Im not staying 2m apart from ds1

He’ll be lucky if i let him go long enough for him to go to the toilet

I think something like this should be implemented for people who live alone. However a "two households" thing would be shit for me - the person I most want to see has children who live between two households already, so presumably he'd not be able to see anyone else, and I couldn't see him?

I can see the government introducing some stupid rule like this, supposedly to help with social isolation but actually a nightmare for those struggling with their family-less status as families will already be so complex involving two+ households.

I can't see how this is going to work for people in house shares either - for instance, a friend lives in a house share with 3 other people. They barely talk to each other, and have totally separate lives, friendship groups and families. Unless each housemate is considered a separate household they always seem to be 2m from each other anyway it's just going to be a non-starter.

Our immediate family groups have vulnerable members.

Our close friends will want to join their own families' bubbles.

DH and I are managing ok, so have decided to stay as a bubble of two.

What we mustn't also forget that this virus isn't going away.

If this is introduced, technically I could go and properly visit my mum, rather than standing 2m away from her having a chat whilst dropping off her shopping. She is in her 80s and has underlying health conditions. I am WFH but am doing the shopping for us, her and elderly neighbours. Therefore, not totally self isolating.

If this rule was introduced, much as I want to give her a hug and sit in her lounge and have a good catch up, rather than shouting at her across the street, I would still be risking giving her the virus.

Presumably over 70s would be excluded from these clusters?

Sadly, I think this will lead to falling out.
My family is relatively small but my mum and dad are not together and my mum has a partner who has children and grandchildren- they would have to choose between the two families. I think they would actually decide to stay self isolating because my mum in particular is vulnerable.
My sister would probably choose friends over me and if that were the case it would be very hurtful. I would see my dad, he is on his own.
I doubt I would make anyone else's list. I have friends but I am no one's "best" friend. It would really highlight that to me and already makes me feel a little sad.

caperberries it's a good point- the media is also helpfully ignoring those shielding.

morelikeaclubsandwich I don't know! See, this is why it's confusing! Our friends aren't going to want to be a part of a cluster with our parents, but our DD needs social contact with at least one friend.

This is never going to work!

I think the sensible thing to do (so unlikely they'll actually do it ) is to consider that people are living in different circumstances so can't have a blanket rule, and to consider the risk/benefit for certain groups.

So presumably in terms of benefit we're looking at things like the mental health risks from no contact, and child development. So children with no siblings in particular would benefit from contact with other children, adults who live alone would benefit from contact with other adults. So have rules like: single person households can mix with one or two other households, families with one child can mix with another household with children... something like that, specific exceptions for specific groups. I don't think the "bubble" idea works for all the reasons stated by PP.

Of course, my idea means that in some cases there's a lot more potential for virus transmission, depending who else their friends/family are seeing under the rules, but in other cases it'll just be two otherwise isolated people meeting so very little potential transmission. Over the country as a whole it would raise transmission but specifically address the worst mental health and developmental risks.

The phrase logistical nightmare springs to mind😳

I just don't see it working

If it does go ahead though I'd probably just give DS the option to see if he's got a local friend who has space in his bubble to be in our bubble . DS1 is definitely finding the social isolation the hardest

My OH and I haven't seen each other for 3 weeks and 2 weeks before that - I would definitely prioritise seeing him over my parents and siblings.