Older people looking after children. Schools reopening.

[Nicol90]

I wonder if anyone else is in a similar situation to me, or might know what to do...

My Grandmother (age 80 with some health issues- not on the covid list but a fair array of issues) and I are joint carers of my younger sister (age 11) since last year when my mother passed away. I work away as a teacher during term times but care for her during the holidays. I came home when this all started (when schools shut I quarantined myself for 20 days - no shopping no parcels etc so I couldn’t infect anyone). My grandmother has been told to stay indoors by the government and obviously had to distance herself from my little sister who had been going to school everyday. Now I am home I am able to go get us food etc (with gloves on washing and changing clothes when I get home). But my sister and I have to stay away from my grandmother even within the house obviously.

I am really worried about when schools re open.

1. I believe I will be required to go back to work and leave my little sister with a vulnerable person who can’t go out really or be near to her.
2. My sister will be presumably required to go back to school, which would put my grandmother at risk if she is mixing with 1,000 or so other children each day.

Is anyone else in a similar situation where you / your partner / another child are vulnerable due to health issues, or you live with an elderly person and are worried about when schools re open?

Any help/ advice / thoughts are welcome! X

Can she not stay with you all the time? Surely you will finish work not long after she finishes school? I imagine it would be much better for her than living with an elderly grandmother, poor thing must be missing out on so much

How able it your grandmother? Is she normally able to care for your sister, or does your sister do a lot of caring tasks for her?

If your sister went to stay with someone else, would your grandmother be able to manage on her own?

Not on the Covid list but been told to shield by the government? I don't understand? It sounds like she's very vulnerable.

My sister in law is a teacher, she has been told that if she has someone vulnerable in the house that she doesn't have to work currently ( caring for key worker children) but I'm not sure what would happen if schools reopened

Has the Grandmother actually been told individually to shield, or is she just following the advice for her age group?

I am at increased risk due to an autoimmune condition, and I have two children of school age. I am really worrying about how we will cope when school reopens. At the moment we are being extremely careful, and only going outside to walk the dog.
I can’t live apart form my children for the year it might take to find a vaccine, if a vaccine is even possible, which it may not be.
It is very frightening OP, I sympathise. The only chink of hope is that children seem, as far as current research goes, to not be significant spreaders. Many of them appear not to catch the virus.

OP it's not clear if you all live in the same property? It's unlikely schools will go back until September. Surely then 11 year old could get herself home and wait for you to get in? I certainly did at 11

Thanks for the responses! It’s a bit of a complicated situation, I live quite far away (3 hours) so my sister couldn’t really stay with me when schools reopen because she wouldn’t be able to go to school. I also live in a small one bed flat with my partner - who is still living there now. It’s a complicated situation because of the fact that our mother only recently died so we haven’t worked out everything yet and I needed to keep the job I was in where I am living because I pay for things for my sister’s living and things.

To clarify - my grandmother is normally very able, (you wouldn’t think she was 80). She just happens to have asthma and high blood pressure, glaucoma, and some other things along with being in the age bracket that have been told they must stay inside).

My school have been understanding, in that they are all on a rota system at school caring for vulnerable children (I think there are only 3 in the whole school). So they have said it is fine to go home since I have caring responsibilities. But I just wonder what will happen once schools go back?

SirVixofVixHall I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things and being super careful. Which is all you can do! I hope you are all ok, it is a really tough time!

Sorry- to clarify. We live at different addresses. My grandmother and sister live in a house I bought in Central London. I live in a rented property about 3 hours away which is where I work during term time. My brother lives in Singapore with his wife and is stuck there... I think my worry is- even if I quit my job and stayed here with my sister (and grandmother) when schools re open. My sister will still be going to school each day mixing with 1,000 or so children, and coming back to a house where a vulnerable person lives....

If your grandmother is generally able, presumably she would be better off living alone than with an 11 year old but no other adult assistance.

So I would suggest that if this situation does occur, then you should probably look at the possibility of moving your sister out of their flat. I think my first call would be to ask if any of her friend's families would be willing to allow her to move in with them in the short term. I know I would be happy to do this for close friends of my daughter if they were in a situation like this.

The alternative is that she moves in with you and temporariliy attends school where you live. Hopefully her current school would be able to be flexible with regards to keeping her school place until she can return. I get that this will be a squish for you, and far from ideal.

Of course, the other alternative is you chat to your grandmother about this. It could be that she would prefer to take the risk of catching CV than to be left alone for up to a year in order to protect her.