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Original poster

School children and shielding parents

42 replies

Jourdain11 · 23/04/2020 13:28

Sorry, it's "another schools thread"....!

I'm actually wondering about a specific point and wanted to ask if anyone has had thoughts or information about this? I guess we can all agree that schools will go back at some point Wink and that it's likely that shielding parents will still be needing to shield.

So I'm just wondering how that is going to work? For example, I wouldn't want my children to miss out on going back because of my medical condition. But I'm guessing it would then require isolating from them entirely, which I could just about manage - but I realise that may not be the case for others - those who don't have space, single parents, and so on.

I know the schools thing has been done to death. But I guess we all know that they will go back sometime - and was wondering if anything has been said or disclosed about this particular issue?

Thanks in advance SmileFlowers

OP posts:
BlackboardMonitorVimes · 23/04/2020 13:45

I'm in the same position, we just don't know do we. DH will also have to go back to work at some point which will mean I'll have to start isolating from him.

SquashedFlyBiscuit · 23/04/2020 13:46

Im in this situation. We also have a small house with 1 bathroom so it isnt like the families that can split the household up.

justanotherneighinparadise · 23/04/2020 13:49

I don’t know how the shielded are going to carry on in any normal sense until a vaccine or drug g protocol is found. My MIL falls into this category and she thinks everyone will be round once the lockdown is eased. I’m honestly leaving it up to DP and her to decide as I’m concerned not seeing any of them for the foreseeable could finish her off anyway.

iVampire · 23/04/2020 13:51

I’m in the same boat

I was wondering if DD will have to move out (her DDad lives and works in a different city so can’t help). I’m wondering if she could be a paying guest with a classmate (who would share school exposure) but think that might be too much to ask

HGC2 · 23/04/2020 13:55

A friend of mine is considering their child staying with friends should the schools go back!

I'm in the same position as you, it would be hard to be isolated from them but could probably make it work

Original poster
Jourdain11 · 23/04/2020 13:57

I am more fortunate in that I have DH at home, but once schools are back he will be too! (Primary teacher.)

Sometimes I wonder if one just has to be a little pragmatic. As in, there would always be the danger that the children would be exposed to germs at school and bring them home. That risk is just multiplied at the moment. So perhaps the sensible thing would be to do as normal but just taking extra precautions in line with the extra risk.

Then I wonder if I'm just totally downplaying it in my mind and being stupid! 😃

OP posts:
Letseatgrandma · 23/04/2020 14:01

This is also an issue with staffing the schools. If teachers are shielding, what do schools do? There is a limited number of supply teachers.

Kokeshi123 · 23/04/2020 14:25

Wondering whether state boarding could work out for some secondary school aged kids? They would need to isolate for two weeks each time they returned home though.

If it was affordable, I'd consider it for a year.

purpleboy · 23/04/2020 14:34

I don't know the answer to this but also in a similar situation. I guess when they go back we can only minimise any possible risk. I don't think we can eradicate it entirely. Certainly won't be life as it was for quite a long time, by the time a vaccine is available who knows where we will be. It's a really depressing thought so we're just taking it day by day and hope things are clearer or settled when they open up.Sad

SistemaAddict · 23/04/2020 14:37

I'm a shielding single parent with no way of getting them to school without me. The eldest walks and is at high school but the younger two can't do that. Mine won't be going back unless I get told I don't need to shield anymore.

BatSegundo · 23/04/2020 14:51

No idea what I'll do. Mine is starting secondary in September and it would be crap for him to miss the transitions. But much worse to lose a parent, obviously. And you can't self isolate from your kids for any length of time without damaging them, in some way, I don't think?! It's a rubbish situation all round. Difficult to work out the least worst option, but I think not going to school might be it Sad

Original poster
Jourdain11 · 23/04/2020 14:57

The problem is, how long could it be before there's a vaccine or until the thing runs its course? Keeping kids off school could be another year or something. Plus, no playdates, no activities... it just seems really unhealthy.

@Kokeshi123 I know there are some state boarding schools and you're right that it might be an idea for secondary children (how are places to those schools usually allocated or applied for? I have no idea!). Mine are reception, Y2 and Y3 though.

I usually do the drop off and DH usually picks them up from after school club.

OP posts:
Cupcakegirl13 · 23/04/2020 15:05

I think individuals will just have to start being pragmatic and make informed choices as they go along . Blanket shielding advice from the government is ok for say a 12 week period , but it is totally unachievable for most people much beyond that. What if a vaccine never comes ? It comes in years time ? I’m shielding my 5 year old , but there will come a point where we have to return to work and school , we will do our best to keep her safe and not go to certain places etc but we will learn to balance the risk with living. Corona virus is not a death sentence even for those with Pre existing conditions it’s at least a 90% survival rate in someone with chronic heart disease. With all the media coverage and time at home to think about things I know I’ve lost some perspective ,but in reality a very very small percentage of our population have contracted it and even less have died. Life will have to go on in an albeit altered form even for the majority of shielded people and their families.

Keepdistance · 23/04/2020 15:09

Im just vulnerable 'asthmatic' and probably not going to send dc back until September. Basically see how the next wave or 2 go.

I dont trust the gov.
They have majorly f* up.
They still seem keen on herd immunity. As no testing no tracing letting flights in with no quarantine.

My dc are under 10 and it just wouldnt be possible to distance from them. I mean most peoples rooms are around 4m.
Then you have collecting them. Helping with homework feeding them.
They may have no symptoms.

We've just had something. No idea how as we havent been out for many weeks. But dp caught it then me next day then about 4-5 days later the kids. And that is while trying to distance etc....
But dp sneezes like a bomb! And coughs.
The kids dont always cover coughs and sneezes and they caught it while me and dp were doing that.

So basically shielding or vulnerable doesnt work for anyone who lives with young people.

Tbh im not sure how many parents will send their kids back anyway because
You cant SD
The gov wont require masks
30 to a room
They dont wash hands
Schools wont close for a case
They are not tracing

And also many parents must be 40+ and that isnt actually that low risk.
Or pregnant or with a small baby.
Yes it sounds like loads want to go bacck but im sure many will be uncertain.
The risk is mainly you dont know what risky things all the other kids have been up to/parents

IrisJoy · 23/04/2020 15:14

I am in the same position. I am shielding. Dd is 13. She can get to school and back in the bus. She is wobbly with mental health anyway and it would really affect her if she went to stay somewhere else and, to a lesser extent, if she missed more time off school. Single parent in 3 bed semi house. I am also a teacher.
I am thinking of continuing to shield myself but letting her go to school but nothing else. And then living fairly normally within the house but no physical contact and extremely rigourous cleaning and no sharing bathrooms.
I just don't know though. It's so hard. It was almost a relief for me when the government stepped in and closed schools etc as I found it really hard to make those choices.

I

IrisJoy · 23/04/2020 15:20

I am lung transplant receipt so classed as extremely vulnerable. I swing between thinking that it will be a death sentence, no way I would get a ventilator, to thinking 'well I have survived worse'. So difficult.
I can't leave dd without a parent, on the other hand, would I be okay anyway? On balance with DD's mental health. Arghhh

As a side note, do we think we will be asked to shield until a vaccine comes out? I don't see what else they can do unless they just have loads of spare ventilators and are going to risk it?!

justanotherneighinparadise · 23/04/2020 15:23

A vaccine is starting the human trials right now. I assume the vulnerable would have access to it first? 🤔

hopeishere · 23/04/2020 16:10

Same boat! And DS doesn't even know his dad is sick so more complicated!

A safe vaccine could be years away.

iVampire · 23/04/2020 16:12

I assume the vulnerable would have access to it first?

Unfortunately that might be unlikely. I saw on the news today that the human trials will be on young, healthy people, and would be rolled out first to young healthy frontline key workers whilst more evidence is amassed before roll-out to the exceptionally vulnerable and the elderly. But once that further testing is done then yes, we should be offered it ahead of general population.

But the whole damned world will be after it and it’ll take time for the manufacture to meet the demand. Everyone might end up waiting longer than they’d want to.

justanotherneighinparadise · 23/04/2020 16:58

They are ramping up the ability to manufacture so don’t worry about that. Plus it seems as though everyone is having a go at the vaccine so it might be that there is more than one in production.

Didkdt · 23/04/2020 17:00

We do have another thread about shielding after the lockdown ends.
I think we will need to be pragmatic at some point the risk is going to be lower than when we went into shielding that's probably the point when I'll stop shielding
That may mean my husband and children have to live apart from me, or me from them
A lot of us are hoping for a vaccine
I need to ask the schools what plans they have for shielding in families

Devlesko · 23/04/2020 17:03

I think it will come to the point where they are all expected to be in, and then I suppose if it's not possible for those to shield, the kids will have to come off roll and be H.educated.
That's just a guess though.
I'm wondering about B&Q employees who went back, are they considered key workers and their kids back at school now?

iVampire · 23/04/2020 18:07

My DD is starting Sixth Form in September. There is no way at all I can HE her subject options.

And she is very unlikely to thrive in a boarding environment. So the suggestion of state boarding, which might work for some, would be pretty disastrous for her

But schools are going to have to deal with many and protracted absences (staff and pupils going in to isolation if someone in their household is symptomatic) or for weeks (even months) of actual disease and convalescence. Maybe online systems will have to be maintained? Especially if local lockdown (for mini outbreak) is ever needed

mintyneb · 23/04/2020 18:13

I'm shielding 13yo dd. We have spent every day of her life keeping her as healthy as possible but also living her life at the same time.

Whilst I dont want to expose her to the virus, keeping her home until with a vaccine comes out is hardly living a life. It's going to be one of the hardest decisions I've ever made but weve got to look into quality of life as well as quantity

mintyneb · 23/04/2020 18:14

Apologies for typos, I'm cooking at the same time as typing!