To be a bit unsure of my psychologist’s advice?

[tippingpointisawful]

Been referred through NHS for rapid access to psychology therapy due to background of pretty awful MH stuff . Was initially pretty ill start of this - suicidal and lost a stone through being scared to eat and drink due to contamination worries . I’ve been talking now to a lovely psychologist for a few weeks, usually once a week we talk on the phone .

This morning they phoned again and we had a good chat about things . He suggested that things have ‘plateaued’, apparently this comes from the hospital he works in (he’s a very senior psychologist for acute trauma unit) and what we need to focus on now is an exit strategy (for me- not the country as a whole) and a way of slowly getting back to some sort of ‘normality’ . Currently I’m in the house 90% of the time, half hour walks every so often (not daily) . Avoiding all other people and I panic if I do contact someone - eg tonight did go for a walk and someone walked past me, definitely not 6 feet away . Scared of using outdoor bin, sitting in garden, handling my cat, all sorts . Getting deliveries for everything - I’ve not been in a shop once since the 13th March . GP was happy with that as I’m higher risk due to existing health issue .

So psychologist wants me to slowly start doing those things . He said we need to reduce back to government guidance where possible and to slowly go out for longer walks , handle mail and the cat, etc . I’m not sure about that at all . Possibly also said we could consider going to local shop for essential stuff or chemist .

I’m very wary of doing more as I’m scared that the only reason I’m still well is because I’m being so cautious ... and I’m not sure we are anywhere near normality either? I’m quite convinced I’m probably not going to see most of my family until next year - so to be considering an exit plan that involves going back to supermarkets etc seems a bit bewildering .

It seems really important you discuss your worries with your mental health team, well done for reaching out and getting the help you deserve, that's really inspiring!

Yes you are doing so well. You should be very proud of yourself. Listen to your psychologist and know that their advice will absolutely be in your best interest

Thank you ;

I still cant quite believe the volume of help I’m getting - I have him, council, social services, and a mental health charity all ringing weekly or fortnightly.
Partly as I’m a live in carer to a parent who has severe disabilities but also because of my mental health . It is absolutely incredible - never been more supported before .

Listen to him, but if it is relevant we are only going for walks every few days, online shops delivered and not seeing anyone (can hear neighbours over the fence if that counts?). No paranoia here just incredibly busy with work (from home) and to be honest don’t really feel the need to go out - Plenty of exercise daily at home and have everything we need. I don’t see the point in the risk of going out if you don’t need to.
I would make friends with the cat again in your shoes as a step towards the goal, and try and work through your concerns with passing people on the days you are out for a walk, but not sure why you would force yourself to supermarkets unless you actually need to? Maybe discuss with him why he thinks you should ?

I think that’s my feeling as well - if I can get away without supermarket I’m going to try and keep with that for a bit . I think the rules in Tesco would make very anxious .

Will give the cat a go ! He’s still allowed out for now .

Struggling to exercise at home - terraced house with a very small concrete garden, can’t use it much as neighbours DCs trampolines on both sides are right up against our fences . So no chance of social distancing really .

I think what I’d like to do is walk a bit further, not to the shop or anything but we have a huge golf course just 15 mins away and a beach off that - would love to try to walk to one or the other . It’s just trying to guarantee social distancing that’s so difficult .

I think what he was thinking is that if things do gradually relax again, I can’t stay at home permanently (I would, I’m very agoraphobic) and maybe need to try and accept that there’s some level of increased risk, that’s going to be present for a long time and that I can’t control much for now .

Wtf does a psychologist know about epidemiology, virology, public health, or the government's exist strategy?
Ask for another therapist, this one is talking out his behind

You are going to have to return to normal at some point , go to the shops etc. It may be easier for you to start this process off while the shops are still quiet and people are generally avoiding each other.

The cat is very, very low risk. A good starting point.

I would take your time with the rest. Longer walks, sure. But if you can avoid the supermarket for now, that still seems wise.

Hope you are getting on ok @tippingpointisawful - we do YouTube exercise ( joe wicks type stuff) in the lounge, might work for you if the garden is not great?

Your golf course and beach sounds gorgeous - if you can build up to that it would probably do your mood a world of good

Thank you , struggling a bit today as it sounds like this is never going to end really . I was supposed to be going back to university in January, but the longer this carries on the less and less likely I imagine that will be happening - and then what ... Struggling sometimes with the total loss of freedom and feeling frustrated ... I’m beyond desperate just to see my sister, my gran, my best friend - even if I can only see them for seconds or through the window, I just want to see them . My gran is very, very ill with Alzheimer’s and breast cancer - and hasn’t that long left, and I’m devastated realising I might never see her again .

With parent it’s all mental health issues - severe disabling ones - so not shielding thankfully, or at least I’ve never had a letter to suggest we should . Her MH team are phoning soon so will suggest we could go out for a bit of a longer walk .

I’ve been doing Joe Wicks too yeah, he’s very good .

It’s just exhausting - constantly worrying, washing everything, always terrified and realising we can’t do a thing any more except sit in the house and wait , wait for what and for how long ... it’s very difficult .

GP is ringing tomorrow so that might help; but absolutely shattered today .

You're allowed to visit people at the end of their life.

These rules are about risk management, primarily in terms of reducing transmission rates, not about risk elimination.

And we haven't completely abandoned our humanity just yet.

Maybe not do all of those things. Maybe just one thing - like stroke the cat :) if you can do that for a while and then see how things go, you can decide later if you want to do anymore.

Also good idea with longer walk as good for you physically and mentally.

Ignore pp comment about getting a new therapist. It sound as though you're having exposure therapy to treat your health anxiety. What he's suggested are all within government guidelines and aren't putting you or others at risk.
Anyway op, I'v been through it (very strange to be on the other side as I was a psychologist at the time). It's very tough but you can come out the other side. I'd start by putting a chair in your garden but just outside the door. In theory the furthest place from others but the fresh air can have a real positive effect on mood.

This isn't about covid, it's about fear and anxiety. Your therapist is right, you need to learn how to tell managable risk from out of control anxiety