Not really sure how to word this, think I'm lonely and going quietly mad.
I do this a lot, but more so at the moment.
So an example previously, 6pm on holiday at a pub near beach. I would think, I'm the first person in the world to ever sit here like this and see this view. At this point, at this time.
Now I'm struggling, a lot. So I sort of say to myself, you are the first person ever, to parent an 18 month old, alone, during peak lambing, with no internet streaming ability, during a pandemic. You are doing fine. You can't compare it to others because nobody ever has done it before.
I think that sounds worse written down 
I suppose it's just a way of calming down.
So I'm constantly telling myself it's ok, I'm coping. Thinking wider I have a lot of people around me who have been there, done that and nothing I ever face is new? So they will always have had worse or better.
Whereas all this is new and hard.
I fear this probably makes no sense at all!