Yet these are the messages I keep hearing !!!!................................................I was in two minds to post this on here but I have decided to Please read to the end.
You have worked for the NHS for over 20 yrs, it’s the second week of lockdown you arrive at work and carry on with your shift. Just before you finish your manager says before you go can I have a quick word.
She tells you that as of tomorrow you will have to go to work in ICU until this crisis is over. You take a few seconds to process what she has said, she then tells you that you will have to shave off your beard as you face mask won’t fit properly, she also tells you, you will be given some training so you have to report there at 9am.
You say yes ok no problem I will go. You then head home.
On your way home you start to feel anxious you know all too well what it’s like in ICU you have had personal experience of it. Close family members have been in ICU and the thought of this brings back suppressed feelings and memories.
The reality of what is being asked of you suddenly hits you.
You arrive home you tell your wife about your day. She also works for the NHS and has her own anxieties within her own job. She reassures you and says we will be ok.
You go to bed you don’t sleep very well the fear of the unknown is kicking in. Your imagination is working overtime. You try to get some sleep but it doesn’t come.
You report for your shift at 9am, you are taken to be measured up for your PPE. You are given training on how to put it on and take it off. They fit you mask. It’s tight.....it’s steaming up your glasses, it’s not fit properly it has to be tighter. The metal strip on the mask is digging in your nose, you wonder how you will be able to wear this for 12 hrs.
You are told that once inside ICU you can’t leave until someone comes to take over for your break. You can’t go to the toilet you can’t have anything to eat or drink once inside. Once you Come out of ICU you have to remove all your PPE. The PPE is making you hot already and you haven’t even started the shift yet the mask is hurting your face. You then start to think how long will you be in there before you can have a break.
You enter ICU nothing has prepared you mentally for what you are now facing. It’s full, all the patients are critical all ventilated, No one knows them, no one knows anything about them, about their families or what jobs they do or did do, you know nothing of their life experiences. Their families are not around they are all alone. You help with personal care treating each patient with dignity, respect and compassion. The monitors are constantly going off making you hyper vigilant. It’s anxiety provoking, staff are stressed, staff are emotional staff are tired. The phone is constantly ringing it’s concerned relatives you try your best to try to relive some of their anxiety’s and don’t know how much help you are being over the phone.
Someone comes to take over from you so you can have a break. You have been in there for over 4 hrs, your hot your face is sore your tired hungry and dehydrated.
You remove all your PPE making sure you remove it in the correct way. Thoughts turn to your family, you pray to god you don’t take this killer home with you.
You go for food you can rest for 30 minutes you are mindful not to drink too much as you won’t be able to go to the toilet till the end of your shift. You look around the room and see colleagues physically and mentally drained. This killer is taking its toll, this is your first shift and you think to yourself how will you cope, you quickly shake this off your part of a team and we will have to support each other. Break over back to work.
Your first shift in ICU is over you shower at work before heading home, your now fully aware of this virus and you are now doing what you can to try to stop the transmission.
You drive home you thoughts are what you have left behind unsure of what your next shift will bring.
You arrive home your wife asks how you are, this is the first time someone has asked you this today... for a moment you ask yourself how are you?? Your response is don’t ask You don’t want to talk about it it’s just awful you have never seen anything like it.
You wonder how many of your colleagues have said the same to their partners.
You look at your wife she says what has happened to your face. You tell her because the mask is so tight it’s taken the skin off your nose, she tells you the shape of the mask is still imprinted on your face. She tells you to put tape on your nose on your next shift it’s an open wound.
You are days off tomorrow and hope you can switch off. You start to think about the viral load aerosol intervention, the news talking about lack of PPE. You are now scared.
Day 2 on ICU you don’t want to go but you know you have no choice you don’t want to let you colleagues down. Your anxiety levels are through the roof, you have a feeling of dread. You know all your colleagues are feeling the same but you have to carry on and carry on you do. ICU is full they have had to open the other side you wonder how many more will succumb to this virus. You have been told you have to work the bank holiday weekend all holidays are cancelled.
You finish your 12 hr shift head home.
Some good news today you could take a patient off the ventilator. You hope for the same for the rest of your patients.
End of week 3 in lockdown you watch the news politicians are saying we are on the right path the curve is levelling but we are all in lockdown for another 3 weeks.
You don’t feel like it’s levelling the ICU is still full some patients sadly didn’t make it, you sat with them made sure they were not on their own as family couldn’t be by their side. This is heartbreaking how much more can we take.
Question .....your a key worker you arrive at work sit at your desk and wonder what the day has in store for you. You switch on your laptop and go and make a hot drink.
It’s quiet at work your work load isn’t like it used to be. You have a little time on your hands to catch up on paperwork.
It’s soon lunchtime you head to the staff kitchen and eat your lunch. You engage in conversations with your colleagues. You return to your desk.
Your manager approaches you and says they have been advised there is a staffing crisis in the NHS we have been told that staff have to help out.
Tomorrow you have to report to ICU don’t worry you will be given full training for a couple of hours in the morning can you be there by 9am.
What would your response be!!!!!!!!
This is what our frontline workers face ever single day and this is why they deserve every single penny of what has been raised
This isn’t a made up story this is actually happening in my house and many others across the country.
Stay at home to protect the NHS please x