what would you do if your parent had the coronavirus?

[EricaNernie]

My dm, I take her her shopping once a week.
she is capable of cooking
however if she became ill where should I turn?
would I cook meals and take them and leave them outside her house, warm?

This is what I did when my mum had it. Arranged a time. Arrived, rang the doorbell and waited to check she ok enough to pick the food up. I did a load of meals she could just reheat in the microwave/oven rather than took stuff warm every day.

was she capable of reheating in the microwave

that is reassuring if so

Yes. If you can pick food up from outside a door, putting it in a microwave isn’t really any more taxing.

It would bectricky to do much, sadly, as I live a 4 hour drive away from my parents.

They would have to be pretty ill and require assistance if they can't microwave something a few minutes, or eat some bread/fruit/biscuits or drink.
Most people with regular flu would prefer to spend 3-5 days sleeping it off, drinking plenty, and just 'snacking' on toast, fruit, lucozade rather than full on meals as appetite disappears.

I would aim to drop any easy food and medicine at the door every other day, and facetime them in between to check how they are.

Obviously if it gets worse than the standard 'flu' and they are getting worse, then proper medical attention would be required anyway.

I'm 32 and when I (probably) had it, I'd get out of breath going to the loo and making a cup of tea. I had DH at home but I could have probably just about used the microwave.

The days I felt worse I couldn't face anything too big/hot (I also had a really sore throat) so I just had toast/cheese sandwich/cereal etc. So that might be nice to bring her if she gets ill- cold nice things, like a batch of sandwiches, yoghurts, lots of orange juice etc.

When I had it (suspected not confirmed but GP says symptoms match) we had things like microwave chicken soup with garlic bread, things on toast, cereal, fruit. The occasional beige freezer food meal. All easy to prepare quick meals.

If my parent becomes ill, it means care arrangements for the grandparent will fall down like a house of cards. I will therefore move in with the grandparent and self isolate with them.

At that point, the reality is that grandparent is probably already incubating it (and will likely die from it due to age and frailty). I fully anticipate that I will get the virus in those circumstances, but I'm not in a high risk category so I'll take that risk in order to provide care for my family; there is simply no one else who can.

There would be nothing wrong in taking your DM food and putting it outside her door but often poorly people are not well enough to get out of bed. That may help if she was a bit unwell but what if she is very ill?

I have a relative I buy food for and take it into their home and put it away. I look after their medication and monitor they are taking it and change the bed etc. You are allowed to go into the home of someone you are caring for.

If my relative did become ill be (unless only mildly ill) I would go and collect them and look after them in my home whilst taking precautions. I could not leave them with, say, breathing difficulties, in case they deteriorated and weren't in a position to call for help.

What you do depends on your individual circumstances:

Whether you have a family - a partner and/or children who need looking after. Do you have siblings who can help?

Whether anyone in your household is vulnerable.

Whether she and you have spare rooms in your homes.

What they are like - anxious, stoical, independent, needy.

Does she have a thermometer to take her temperature?

Would she use facetime/Skype/zoom to communicate with you so that you can see any deterioration and get help for her?

i have no spare room
she doesnt have a face time facility.
she is independent but could be anxious
i do have family at home, not sure if dh is vulnerable,
i guess i could wear a mask and gloves and go in to her house
she is isolating, i am her only visitor,
and i dont go in to her house, but if it calls for it
i have a sister, a few hundred miles away. and my grown up dc, at home with me
food for thought - thanks.

My mum had it (not confirmed but very likely) she has a partner that she lives with though. She wasn't so ill that she couldn't make food but she didn't have much of an appetite anyway so she wasn't eating many hot meals. Depends on age as well, she's only 51.

My dad has it but wasn’t very ill, just a cough and temp but was up and about as did my aunt. She was breathless and felt a bit rough but neither were in bed so there’s no guarantee that they’ll feel really terrible.

My parents live abroad and if I somehow managed to get there I would need to quarantine two weeks before seeing them. So I just hope for the best. Their country isn't badly hit.

My only parent has several risk factors so it would be pretty disastrous if he caught it. I’d move in with my dad and care for him but I’m lucky to have a supportive DH who could care for our children while I did that.

my parents are mid 60s. If they got it I'd move in with them it's a no-brainer question for me. The risk to me is minimal, the benefit to them would be enormous. Obviously I'd isolate before returning home.