Dad has tested positive

[Pandemiccrisismode]

Just wondering if anyone else has an elderly relative who has the virus. Df is 89 an is in a nursing home.

Not sure what I want other than to tell somebody.

I'm sorry to hear this OP.

I've not been in this situation but it must be incredibly worrying for you.

Sadly you are not alone in these circumstances.

Have you had any information about how your DF is/severity of symptoms?

Thank you for replying. He is comfortable and not badly affected other than the fever.

He has dementia so there won't be any intervention or hospital treatment.

I'm so sorry, that must awful.

Even for the more vulnerable members of society the odds are in his favour. I hope he pulls through.

If he does deteriorate then the community teams can administer drugs to make him comfortable.

Friends dad mid 80’s , reasonably well but heart condition, was admitted early last week, tested positive. The were advised there would be no intervention did to age and medical condition.

He was discharged last Thurs evening and is being cared for at home by my friend and her family who are now obviously self isolating.

🙏🏻 For your dad, older people can recover x

I'm glad to hear he is comfortable.

It must be awful for you.

All the "rituals" that help us cope when a loved one is not well have been stripped away (visiting, physical comfort etc).

It must be especially hard if he has dementia. My DH's GF has this and towards the beginning of the end its was so hard to see his personality being eroded and worse his utter confusion/frustration about the world around him. Then to be honest as his condition got worse, it actually got better (for him not us) in so far he went beyond the confusion into his own world and seemed more at peace.

I'm not sure what stage of dementia your DF has and his levels of awareness but if he's not in any physical pain and being cared for then hopefully he's not in any state of distress.

That doesn't negate how awful you must feel but hopefully gives a degree of comfort that he's not suffering presently.

His dementia is not yet at the stage where he doesn't recognise or miss his family. Unfortunately it is at the stage where he wouldn't understand why we are not visiting or that this is a worldwide pandemic.

It's incredibly hard not to be able to see him now when he needs us most.

@Pandemiccrisismode I have been in your exact situation recently. My DF has advanced dementia and is in a care home. He still recognises us but won’t have a clue why we haven’t been to visit in weeks.

About 3 weeks ago we were told they had 2 positive cases in the home and my Dad had a temperature and a cough as did some of the other residents. As 2 had tested positive they were assuming that all the others had it too.
The GP phoned my mum and said we would just have to wait and see how he copes with the symptoms but that he wouldn’t be taken to hospital as it would be too distressing for him. He then said his age is against him.
I was in bits, I thought that’s it, he’s going to die and we won’t be able to even visit him.
He was unwell for around 2-3 weeks. He was given antibiotics. He was still able to be dressed and sit in the lounge but he was so tired and not able to walk around like normal.
I kept waiting for them to ring and say he had deteriorated but they didn’t.

After 3 long weeks of worry and sleepless nights, he is better!! He no longer has a temp or a cough and he’s back to walking around. I’ve skyped him and although I don’t think he understands what it is, the relief for me to see him was wonderful and emotional.
The carers have been amazing and have also had the virus and some of their families.

I know it’s hard OP but people do recover whatever their age. We just don’t hear enough about them and so we automatically assume that our elderly loved ones will not recover. I know the anguish you will be going through but your DF may well be ok. Sending positive thoughts your way x

I really feel for you, OP, it must be horrific for you. Older people can, and do, recover, and dementia isn’t a risk factor as such. So there is some hope.