Struggling without a garden.

[Isitrainingihadntnoticed]

Those with gardens, I envy you so much at the moment. I'm also still having to go to work in a hospital. In the days off and it's been sunny, I've been so desperate to get out! It's so fucking hard to cope with this when you have an apartment and no way to enjoy eating outdoors etc.

I live in a 2 bed flat with communal garden! Important to appreciate what you have.tbh if anything what this crisis has taught me is not to be overleveraged. As I am 28, my 2 bed flat was really the maximum I could afford but DH and I are working from home and we pay our mortgage and have £20k in savings (which isn't a lot!). I don't envy the people with huge houses, 2 DCs and being placed on furlough/out of work. I think there is a lot of pressure to upsize in the UK to a house with a garden (when that is a luxury in many countries) and that's great if you can afford that and have at least £40k in backup savings (as we have £20k as a couple and that is definitely not enough so you definitely need more as a family even if you live in a cheaper area).

I have a large garden, but barely use it tbh.

We are a family of 6 (DCs age 5, 2, and 4mo twins) in a 2bed flat with no garden.

Lockdown is torture and we will not be able to sustain it for much longer. My eldest in particular is stressed and deeply unhappy. This flat was supposed to be a temporary stop-gap as we were relocating for DHs new job. The job fell through thanks to the virus and now we are stuck here for God knows how long. There are no more jobs turning up, even if we were able to move in a lock down.

I don't care what anyone says, you cannot meet the needs of such young children via a formalised 'walk' every day. They need time to play and dig and potter about - especially so for those with barely any indoor space. My poor 5 and 2yos have absolutely no space or time to themselves, and can't get enough physical exercise (I have to stop every 1.5-2hrs to BF the twins if we are out so that's sort of the cut off for how long we can be out for - plus we need regular toilet and rest stops).

Those with gardens are incredibly fortunate and I think the difference in MH between those with and without their own outdoor space will be quite marked by the end of this.

Is 120ft garden by 30ft wide big?

Ours is, off the top of my head, about 80ft by 30ft and I think that's large so I'd say yes. I'm certainly feeling very lucky and grateful at the moment.

we have a large communal garden on a council estate. we are the only family out of 82 flats to use it. i do wonder if soneone could dob us in about usingit, but it is there outside our windows. If otgers wanted to use it we could have a rota. it really surprises ne that no one is in it, but under normal conditions they never are. We are getting some garden games soon, i hope noone objects to us.

You have my sympathy - PPs are right, the mental health of people without gardens must be on the edge. Mine isn't huge, but it keeps me sane. Not only is it a place to be outside it is also giving me something to focus on - planning on what to grow, weeding schedule. It gives me something to look forward to and control in really uncertain times.

Its hard. 6 people in 2 bedroom flat that would be very stressful. I am in one bedroom flat 3 children. This is what I know I don't know how I would feel with more space. Imagine all the gardening, cleaning. I been offered a swap. My kids have game consoles to ease stress.

DH & I have just been discussing this. We are very lucky in that we live on a road where the houses are well spaced out and have generous gardens. We have a large front garden as well as a back garden.

We have young friends who have a toddler and live in a flat with no garden less than a 5 minutes drive away. What would be the harm for them to park on the road outside our house and have a picnic on our front lawn? They would be disturbing absolutely no-one. They could set up a paddling pool for the little one. All this could be done without any contact whatsoever with us.

We haven’t done this as no-doubt some people would complain.

Totally agree that a garden is a real benefit. I've said to a few friends that as a non-gardener I've never been so grateful for a garden. DH is WFH, my work has dried up and we have a very sporty teen. In a flat we would be pinging off the walls.

It is hell on earth. We are moving as soon as this is over. I have been getting the rage over people saying "you can go out for a walk". Yes we can, but so can they and it is not in any way comparable to having a garden. You can't stop on a walk, you can't sit down, you can't just relax with a drink and feel the sun on your face in a nice way. You can't just watch your child play in the garden like those who have one do. And then when the young child needs a wee on a walk you have to go home and boom that's your 1 period of exercise gone.

I came off Facebook for a while in the beginning as I was so fed up of all the posts about making memories in the garden. I also want it to piss with rain for a prolonged period so people can feel what it is actually like to experience it for a few days.

We have a garden but I can’t actually use it because of severe hayfever. My mental health is not dependent on it, however.

I have a garden and I do feel extremely lucky, I wish I could lend it out to people. I also live rurally so it’s easy to exercise without seeing many people. I never take for granted what I have.

It must be so hard OP, I used to live in a flat with no garden and I think about it all of the time now and how hard it would be.

@Spanneroo what about the children in Hong Kong, Singapore and Japan. Majority live in flats. And in Singapore, even if you have a garden like my parents do, you can't go out cos it's really too hot.

@Desiringonlychild oh yeah now you say that, it's an absolute breeze and none of us are having any issues with it whatsoever

I really feel for people without gardens, particularly though with children. We’ve got a really good size garden (not ginormous, but enough for climbing frame/swings, trampoline, footie goal etc) and I feel so fortunate. I live in the north west though and there are very few flats where I live. The ones we do have are mainly for elderly people. I can see why the parks in London have been so busy with the amount of people who live in flats. If you’ve got access to a shared garden with your flat I would definitely use it and just keep your distance from others.

We have several acres including a woodland with a play area!! Our dc are extremely lucky!! They have no idea! I hope this all ends soon so ppl can get out and about.

people with gardens sit back for a moment and think about that. It's easy to forget what you have sometimes

We are very grateful we have a garden during lockdown, we moved out from London end of 2018, we did have a garden there too but nothing like what we have here. We have a preschooler too so it's been helpful.

I remember when we went for our first place we were looking at flats and a mortgage advisor told us to get some kind of outside space, even if it's a balcony. Because of that we moved our search out a zone! Was really good advice and I've always tried to pass it on. I think lockdown will certainly make people rethink about having their own outside space.

Is 120ft garden by 30ft wide big? Yes if you're in a town.

I wonder if bigger gardens will be in demand now? I wonder if people will stop trying to pressurise relatives of 50+ to herd together in "nice little retirement flats"

It'd make a lot of sense if they had total lockdown for those with gardens, and encouraged unlimited time outside for those in flats. You could do it by issuing passes to be outside for all those in houses above a certain rateable value - wouldn't be totally accurate and you'd have to have an appeal system for those in high rated flats, but it'd be a start.

I have a small terrace in my central London flat and we have shared gardens so pretty lucky but next summer we'll have a baby so we've decided to rent out my flat and rent a place with a south facing garden for a year until the market picks up.

Yup. 3yr old and 17 day old in a 2 bed flat with no outside space. Horrible!

Have come off Facebook pages as I can't cope with seeing posts about barbecues and camping in gardens.

My 3 Yr old DS is bored of walking to the park and back and I really wish I could give him a slide, paddling pool etc.

We had been half considering moving out of the city so we could get a house before this. Definitely happening ASAP now. I am not going through this in a flat again. There is no point living in a city for the communal attractions if you can't access any of them.

We've been SO lucky. Exactly one year before lockdown I inherited some money and we managed to buy a little house with a garden in November. Many of our friends thought we were nuts to move "so far" out of town but we made the decision to prioritise a garden over proximity/spare bedroom and now we're so relieved that we did. I've been struggling these last few days but I can't begin to imagine how people in flats are doing, especially those with small DC. I really, really sympathise.

I did see a local lady on Facebook offering "shifts" of playtime in her garden to kids living in apartments today, I thought that was a lovely idea.

Mere “ I wonder if people will stop trying to pressurise relatives of 50+ to herd together in "nice little retirement flats"

My parents nearly did this. I thought it was mad at the time. There’s only mum now but thank goodness she didn’t do this.