Anyone else getting sick of...

[CathyandHeathcliff]

Being told they can’t feel sad about the lockdown or not seeing family?
Being told you should be grateful and not get upset because you’re still alive?

Yes! It frustrates me so much! Hard enough times without being berated for how you're feeling.

No.

Because that's not what's happening on MN - there is a long and active thread about things people have minded missing this year.

Now, if someone was trying to equate a minor embuggeration or missed celebration/event with the really devastating consequences they would rightly be jumped on. But in MN at least, people realise that it is possible to care about things at different levels.

(Or at least that's the case on the threads I open)

Yes. I know why it’s happening, and I fully support it. It’s still shit though.
Some people on MN seem to think it’s unreasonable to ever express a negative emotion as it could be worse. I bet IRL they moan about all sorts though.
I support lockdown. I have it easier than a lot of other people. I still think it’s shit and I miss my mum.

EdithWeston, the OP didn't say it's exclusively mumsnet that are saying these things

Everyone is allowed to feel sad for the things they personally have lost, regardless of whether or not others have lost more. Sometimes you just need to be mindfulness of the company in which you express it, but all feelings of loss are valid.

Yeah, I agree. Things can be shit for people for different reasons. Of course it could be worse. It could also be better so feeling down about stuff we can’t control is normal.

I got quite teary yesterday because it all got a bit too overwhelming. I am lucky: I don’t know anyone who has suffered or died from the virus, DH and I are both key workers but working from home because I’m in a vulnerable group, neither of us has been furloughed or lost our jobs, etc. I really shouldn’t complain but I couldn’t help feeling really low yesterday.

I don’t just mean on mumsnet, it’s mainly Facebook I’ve noticed it.
Normally the people commenting have decent sized houses, gardens and the rest. I have an 18 month old and no garden, it’s becoming a nightmare.

Yes, I often feel very down about all of the things you mention. I have now decided that I will no longer listen to or acknowledge anyone who tells me I shouldn't feel this way, because I do feel this way.

I understand why we are doing what we are doing. I support it too but I do have reservations about it. I don't like it though, I will never like it and nor will I be told to.

I am fortunate. I am a home buddy and we live in a house with a garden, which makes it much easier. We used to live in a London flat though, with no outside space. I would have found that unbearable.

For me it is being unable to visit my elderly parents (who are shielding) and hoping that I actually get a chance to see them again before anything disastrous happens.

Totally with you OP and there does seem to be a common attitude of 'well chin up because it would be far worse if you had coronavirus!'.

It's not as black and white as that. Yes having the disease would be worse and I don't deny that for a second. HOWEVER, the fact remains that we have lost any semblance of normal life, our movements are restricted, we cannot socialise in person with some of those we love the most. To me, it is still justified to complain about that and talk about the psychological impact its having on us.

I'm getting sick of....

People who use clickbait titles in their posts rather than just putting the subject they are discussing

Trashy behaviour

Calm down @pocketem just move on.

pocketem 'Trashy behaviour'? Lol. Get a grip!

I feel sad as I can't see my elderly dad in a care home. I feel sad for people who have had relatives that have died. I feel bad for people concerned about their jobs. I feel bad for children missing out on school and for key workers risking their lives to help others.
It doesn't change anything but this situation is so bad and horrible for everyone.
Of course we can feel down about it all. To say you can't or being a 'snowflake' or whatever is just ridiculous. We need to get on with it , but we can also have our down times. It's a tough situation.
Nobody has lived through times like this before. I'm sure things will look up eventually but it feels like it's going to be a while yet.

I agree!

I feel like I am even doing it to myself. I will think 'I miss my Mum and Dad' then imediatley think 'but I shouldn't complain at least they are safe!'

If I think 'god I'm sick of looking at this garden I wish things were normal and we could go to the swing park/zoo/beach for a day out' I immediatley tell myself off because at least I have a garden.

I just need to feel my feelings sometimes without having guilt for it......but at the same time I know it is a lot worse for others. Argh!