Feel ike a rubbish mum today .

[iwantitalltobenormal]

I work 3 days a week from home , as Well as looking after DS 2 full time and balancing my job, as DHs team manager job is more important ( also wfh) he has claimed he can’t do any of the childcare (fine) because his boss wouldn’t support that.

But I’ve just hit a brick wall today , I’ve been snappy with my poor DS, I’ve sat him in front of the tv for most of it , I feel exhausted , I feel miserable , I feel shaky and I feel breathless due to my anxiety levels .

I’m normally ok and I’m normally on it .

I know people are in much worse positions right now and I have no right to be moaning .
But I’m just fed up and need someone to tell me I’m not a shit mum!

If your DH was single he would have to do childcare.

You’re not a shit mum!

Plus I’ve been up since 5.30am which doesn’t help with DS

You are not a shit mum. You're a mum trying to do her best in a pandemic. Cut yourself some slack.

Can you get yourself a brew, leave the work for a bit and sit down with your DS? Work might be important, but your wellbeing is more so.

You’re not a shit mum! This is really hard. Give yourself a break.

If you were a shit mum you wouldn't feel bad about it. You're doing your best. I'm also feeling awful myself - I'm working from home while looking after 2 children. DH and I had planned to do all these amazing activities each day - crafts, bakery, family games etc. Although we do manage to take them for a walk each day they spend far too much time watching TV and playing with their gadgets. I'm talking about hours every day. It's just so hard when you have to work, cook, clean, do the laundry etc to do all the wonderful activities too. We're all doing our best in difficult circumstances.

you are not a rubbish mum you are human trying your best in difficult circumstances. Its ok to not be 'on' 24/7. I'm working too out of the house 40hrs a week so today my kids watched about 5 films back to back& i slopped around in my jammies. Try to get out for a walk & fresh air and then congratulate yourself for getting through the day.

As an aunty who badly wants to help my ds with her little ones, I think you wfh mums deserve a medal (and and )
You are not a shit mum, you are doing great.

You're not a shit mum. And you're certainly not alone!

For some bizarre reason I've been in a foul mood with DH and DS all day and I'm not even WFH. Plonked DS in front of the telly this morning, had a meltdown on DH, went for a nap, just woken up and feel just as pissed off as I was pre-sleep.

It's lockdown, it goes weird things to us. We can only hope that we feel better tomorrow!

Op I feel exactly the same as you - I don't feel guilty about it but I do feel incredibly sad that my ds has spent most of the last 3 weeks on his own watching tv and playing on his switch whilst I've been working. I'm on annual leave this week & we've done some stuff together but I still have the house etc to sort & I'm a LP so nobody else to do it.

I often feel overwhelmed by the stuff I have to do at home too if I'm honest.

I'm going to be working shorter days from next Monday but I'm a senior civil servant so I'm allowed to do that & still be paid (this job is utterly amazing) but I haven't yet figured out actually how to do the job in 50-70% of the time but I'm going to give it a good try!

All you can do is do your best op xx

You are not a shit mum. You're a normal mum. We're all doing this. I'm working from home at moment so it dh but his job is keeping him tied to PC and skype so I'm 'home schooling ' and working.... yeah Frozen 2 is on again!
We'll all get through this, the kids will remember all the fun bits only, all the great films they watched!

I'm off work this week (should have been on holiday) but last week I felt exactly the same. My husband is a key worker and out working most of the week. I work 5 days a week from home whilst trying to teach/entertain/look after my DD (8). It's really hard and I get so snappy sometimes, by the late evening I just want to go to bed for some space, but some days you need to give yourself a break, it won't hurt them to watch TV and entertain themselves a bit. Eventually, normality will resume, we just need to get through this as best we can for now

You're definitely not a shit mum. You are a strong woman doing your best. A day or ten in front of the tv won't do dc any harm. Look after yourself you can't pour from an empty jug! (As my Nan would say!)

I really feel for you.
Its just one of those days. There will be a lot of them. You are doing the best you can. Be kind to yourself.

I really am feeling despair and my situation is not as bad but some similarities. My DH and I both work 4 day week jobs. Full time hours. We have 2 children one 14 months the other 4 years old. I need to be able to think for my job and its impossible. Today I worked from 800 to now (I was in despair so turned to mums net) and I got about 50% done of what I usually do in better set up. My DH got nothing done. My boss does not understand that it is two of us. I tried the waking up at 6am and DH working till 2am but its week 4 and we are both shattered. I know this is better than what is going on in the hospitals. I just am on the brink of asking to be furloughed or unpaid leave because my anxiety levels are so high at constantly underperforming, underdelivering in every aspect of my life.

Talk to your DH. Does he know how you're feeling? He needs to step up but maybe he doesn't realise you're struggling.

We're going through a global pandemic.

Remember this little ryhme.

Roof over head, all fed, none dead.

You can't be perfect all the time. Don't beat yourself up. He has a home, you're feeding him, he's safe. Extra screen time isn't going to kill him.

Unless your job is merely pocket money that you have no real ambition or interest in, I'm not quite sure why your DH gets to focus 100% on his job whilst you have to juggle children/home with yours .
Of course his boss won't like it if he's got kids to look after and can't work his normal hours but tough shit, so have half the bloody country . You need to put your foot down and set up a rota so you both get a chance to work without interruption but also BOTH take care of DC. Your DH will need to agree some flexible hours or similar - I know a few friends who are running themselves ragged doing similar because their DH does something very important ()^^ and needs to be holed up in his study/room for 12 hours a day but they are kidding themselves if they think their DH's have even asked for flexibility!

My neighbour has sent her kids outside when it’s sunny with packed lunches from 8am - 4pm every day (she’s in the kitchen wfh and they have to ask her to use the toilet). It looks awful from the outside but the kids have loved it and they were telling each other (loudly) how cool their mum is. So don’t worry about it.

you are a great caring mum

Not a shit mum at all. We're both key workers working mostly from home the majority via Microsoft teams. In between each meeting it's me who gets up to try to set an activity up for 10 year old ds to make sure he's not glued to a screen all day watching crap on YouTube or make sure 13 year old dd actually emerges from her room. DH stays in his study room with the best wifi whilst I lurch from room to room with my laptop trying to be a mental health professional and mum simultaneously.

I get so anxious sometimes I get a tight chest and I'm stupidly behind with documentation. If I go out to do any clinical face to face stuff I come back to both kids having done nothing. Im stressed and exhausted by it all. I feel you op. Hugs.