Am I being a nosy cow?

[Rainingagaininseattle]

One if my good friends is visiting her elderly (88 year old) mum regularly because her mum is lonely. She's going with her 16 year old daughter every time. Her daughter goes between her and her dad's house twice a week as well. Of course none of my business but I don't want her mum to get it as I'm fond of her and I've said I think she shouldn't visit and ideally her daughter should choose between houses or at least swap less often.

I know I'm being judgemental but we're (my family) in a high risk group and I can't understand how anyone can be so selfish.

Just been getting quite upset about it when she keeps telling me she's off to visit her mum (who is old but able to look after herself if she had food dropped off for her).

Your friend is being irresponsible, I expect she knows this....

Just let people do what they want to do

Yes you're right Victoria but I feel sad for her mum who I've known for 40 years and is like an aunt to me

You're not being judgemental from what you've written, you're just concerned as a friend.

There's really nothing more you can do as you've already told her what you think.

Someone else on here had an apt quote from some poet about how you can kill someone with love by visiting them. (Presumably the poem was about a Typhoid Mary or a TB type situation rather than covid-19).

Pretty much sums it up. If anyone remembers it please post it and who it’s by?

Her mum is 80. Maybe she has a terminal illness that you don’t know about. Maybe they feel quality of life is more important than quantity of years at that age. Maybe she is so lonely she’s contemplating ending her life. Maybe there is more going on than you know.

You don’t know.

Focus on what you can control - yourself and your own household.

You cannot control other people.

88 actually having just re read your OP which makes what I’ve said in mine even more pertinent.

They are each other’s family. Fond of her though you may be it’s absolutely none of your business.