Has anyone told their partner not to bother taking them for medical help?

[milkcartoncat]

I know I’d be a waste of resource so I’ve made it clear not to bother taking me because I wouldn’t be given any assistance anyway.
I’ve written it down - do I need to make this official in some way?

What about if you break a leg, do you still want to refuse medical treatment?

At the moment hospitals are not at full - capacity, that's why we are all in lockdown.
Medics are not having to choose which people to treat and if we can keep the rate if infection as low as possible until there is a vaccine (possibly 12 months away) then they will never have to prioritise you/not prioritise you.

chat.womensaid.org.uk/

www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

You don’t have to feel like this OP.

Cross post.
Ok op you are obviously depressed. You probably need to talk to your gp about this, they are still doing telephone appointments.

but generally, overall I’m a waste of resource, even if I survived.

No one is a waste of resource. You do sound very sad and depressed. Is there someone in real life you can talk to? Or do you have the money to organise speaking to a counsellor either online or on the phone?

OP have you sought help for your mental health? This is not a normal way of thinking at all.

As PP have said, there is no such thing as a “waste of resources”. Healthcare staff would be horrified if they thought you would rather die alone and unassisted rather than use up some of their time.

Even generally with people who don’t get further treatment they are still taken care of - they are given medicine and painkillers to make the passing as comfortable and peaceful as possible. You really don’t want to be left at home with no intervention or help, trust me.

It’s just when as a person you add no value and are totally insignificant, it just feels like there’s no point. They could put resource to me that would have been much better going to someone else who will be more useful when this is over.
Not least the fact that I constantly cost the nhs and the state money anyway through being a t1 diabetic, basically I feel they’d be throwing good money after bad.
It might not come to it, but if I am unwell then I don’t want any intervention.

OP you do have value. What you are feeling right now is a result of your plummeting mental health. Believe me, I’ve been there where I feel like there is absolutely no worth to my life and it’s a struggle to pull myself out of it; but you must see that you have value and certainly don’t deserve to die with no intervention. Even if you don’t want ventilation, surely you can accept that you are deserving of palliative care if the worst were to happen?

Hi milkcartoncat,

We're so sorry to hear how negatively you view yourself - we hope you don't mind, but when a threads like this one is flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We'll be moving this thread across to Mental Health now as we think it's a place where you'll be offered ongoing support and kindness.

We very much hope things look a lot better for you soon

I don't know anything about your back story milk but you absolutely do have value and I promise you that when you are in a better mental state you will feel that value yourself. Please don't make any decisions right now when you are clearly very down.

Also, in general when people say the care should go not to them but to a specific type of other person...a parent, a person with a key job....that's not how it works. If you refuse care it could go instead to any random person, they won't be assessed in that way. They could be a serial killer. The point I'm trying to make is that when people say 'give it to someone more deserving', that is just their own negative thoughts and feelings being revealed. There is no realistic process for that kind of assessment, it won't happen.

Op please think about talking to someone like Samaritans. Even in this time they're taking calls. Someone said you have children, how old are they?
Also you might feel like you wouldn't want ventilating and the consequence might be pretty quick, but if it's just breathing difficulties, low SAT'S, dehydration etc it can be a long drawn out and unpleasant death with no help.

Op call your gp tomorrow. They’ll be able to support you with how you’re feeling right now.

Oh op I am so so soeey you feel like this.

You ARE important. I know from experience that someone saying it doesn't always make you feel like you are. You can recover from this, you can be happy and you deserve to be healthy

Please, please, please contact your gp tomorrow. They are still open for support even if it is phone consultations etc. They appreciate that life is difficult for so many and I imagine are being very accommodating of mental health concerns. Please call them. Do not feel like you a waste of resources because you are not. Mental health has a very real risk of harming you, more so than coronavirus does. Think of the people who love you and how devastated they would be if something happens.

You are so deserving of medical treatment, and you deserve the right support from your gp, you truly do. One of the main facets of MH recovery or treatment is self care. Whether that's eating right, sleeping right, speaking to people... All the way through to recognising when something is up and taking steps to address it. Accessing help is one of the bravest things you can do. It is also the ultimate way of taking care of yourself.

Sending you hugs op. Keep posting on here, call a support service - just do whatever it is to make it through tonight and seek help first thing in the am.

We've agreed if I get it again or he gets it, that we won't visit as we don't want our children to lose both parents.

Please don't do this. We need you in the world.