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How do I stop this affecting relationships "afterwards"

2 replies

Makeitgoaway · 13/04/2020 15:27

I'm part of a friendship group, 5 couples. Usually we all meet up about every 3 weeks and smaller groups will meet every few days depending on who's available. We share a couple of common interests and will meet to do these activities.

Obviously, for now, we're having to make do with doing them with the people we live with, which is easier for some than others. DH is probably least interested of all the spouses, but DS1 will go out with me. One of the couples don't live together, so that is hard. One of the couples, frankly, should have split a long time ago and the DW in that pair has a terrible time with her MH. She's probably my closest friend in the group and when this all started I was very worried for her, she's very extroverted and uses social contact to cheer herself up when struggling with her MH/her DH. This current situation is very hard for her.

Anyway she and the man in the non co-habiting couple have been meeting regularly to do our hobbies. I understand why they both feel they need to do it but can't help thinking a bit less of them because of it.

Also, two of the group are front line NHS workers begging everyone to stay at home, it seems very selfish to ignore that, but again, I understand why they are.

Usually, I would be calling my troubled friend fairly regularly to check on her, especially as I know she will be struggling with this, but I find myself putting it off because I know she will want to justify what she's been doing, explain how they're maintaining social distance etc and I will struggle to let it go.

Is this friendship changed forever or is there a way back?

FWIW I'm sure there's no affair, they both just want to get out of the house, have something to do and a bit of company. I bumped into them on one of their jaunts and saw nothing untoward at all, they were even 2m apart.

OP posts:
MurrayTheMonk · 13/04/2020 15:32

It's tricky. I've got a friend who is struggling with lock down, drinking like a fish and who I know has been hanging out at her neighbours houses and generally not observing lock down rules. I'm a care home manager and working all hours in incredibly stressful circumstances. I just want this over and I can't help but be really fucked off at people who aren't helping to achieve that by observing the social distancing. I'm pretty cross with her and I am struggling to maintain contact with her.

Makeitgoaway · 13/04/2020 16:31

I know, I really don't like myself for the way it's making me feel about them both.

OP posts:
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