If you feel like you're coping, please tell me how!

[notsureneversure]

I'm doing ok and have got nothing to complain about really.

Where I'm struggling is in feeling like I'm on top of the housework and the children's schoolwork.

I am working from home but there's very little to do most of the time.

Despite these things, I feel like I'm chasing my tail and never seem to be able to catch up. Forget having time to sit down to read a book, the place is constantly a mess and there's always something that needs doing.

If you are managing ok with primary-age children and feel like you're more or less on top of things, please tell me how!

Do I need to be stricter with the children? Is more scheduling the answer? More discipline? Giving up on housework and leaving the house to be a tip? I'm lost.

Opposite. You need to chill.
I'm way less strict than you.. No homework the past two weeks and when homeschool is in session, it's only a few hours if that and not everyday.
We cook together. DD (10) has been working on an art project solo. I've let her sign up to TiK Tok (was resistant to this previously) so she dances a lot.
I also let our home get a bit untidy and I am not bothered about cleaning, doing chores everyday. I work out of the home so couldn't anyway.
This works for us. You need to find what works for you.

The idea that you need to be "doing things". It's an illusion. If this situation teaches us anything it's that the things that we think are important - when it comes down to it - mean nothing.

Housework is completely unimportant. And isn't it Easter holidays for your children now, too?

I think you should do what is necessary to keep you all safe, sane and well. If that is cleaning, then clean. If not, cut yourself some slack. This really isn’t the time to worry about what anyone else is doing. If the children are doing something, it doesn’t really matter what that is. This is very hard for everyone and I would say it matters more that they see you being able to cope and get through the day than having an enormous amount of structure and a super tidy house. If that means letting things go, let them go. School will be there when this is over. For now, I’d work out what works for you as a family. If you can live with a messier than normal house then don’t beat yourself up. If you need it tidy to feel calm, see if they can help a little. But be kind to yourself.

Relax. Lower your standards.

It doesn’t matter too much if the carpet needs hoovering - there isn’t going to be anyone dropping round unexpectedly, is there?

If your doing ok with activities/having fun/not biting each other’s heads off, then you’re doing well.

Basic chores need doing - dishes, toilets and surfaces, the normal hygiene stuff. But otherwise? Don’t sweat it.

I don’t have time for new hobbies/learning a new language/whatever, but we are all getting on ok, the dc aren’t too worried or stressed, we’ve all had some good times, and so it’s a win overall for me at the moment.

How old are your children? Could they do age appropriate chores? Mine empty the dish washer, Hoover, make sure their own beds are made. This gives them responsibility and us a little more time for family things

I’m working full time from home and very busy. DH is also working out of the home. He’s self employed so working weekends when I’m off and then taking a day off midweek to blitz the cleaning. I’m hoovering all the pet hair up intermittently.

I’m relying on school work to keep DD occupied - we have a timetable so she knows what to do and that includes things like dance practice. But she might also watch two films back to back or spend the afternoon playing on her iPad. I’m coping apart from the eleventy billion interruptions when I’m working - usually when on calls . But I switch off totally from work when I log off l, and weekends are for doing whatever takes our fancy.

How old? Primary could be hell or heaven!

We schedule. DD has ADHD and if we didn't it would be bedlam.

I've relaxed standards on housework because with all four of us in the house all day it never stays immaculate for long. I'm planning a big redecorate and declutter once all this is over so I'm not being too precious now.

I'm probably doing a crap job on the homeschool front compared to some, but I'm hoping my children will remember this as a time when family life was happy if a bit disorganised and not as a time when stressed out parents kept losing their cool. We've played a lot of board games, they've improved their baking skills, read books, watched too much TV.

We're doing exactly what most people are telling us not to do: treating it like a holiday.
My DS is only 3 so not strict school work but I am still working throughout the day.
By treating it as a holiday I mean we are taking each day as it comes. Making no formal plans, going on walks through the local woods, making bug hotels and bird houses, baking and watching films, drawing lots of pictures and chalking the driveway etc. It's the most relaxed we've ever been! Yes the washing has piled up more than usual and there is stuff all over the house, but it's clean and we're having fun!

I’m actually really enjoying this lockdown. It’s been a good excuse to get things done in the house, spend quality time with my family and just get off the rollercoaster of life for a bit.
Try and look at it as an extra holiday.
Don’t worry about what’s everybody else is doing and getting up to. Do what you enjoy

We've become quite slobbish with the housework, the cleaner no longer comes and we're home.

With three adults and one almost adult and a dog home most of the time, we've had to lower standards.

I'm making sure I get my daily exercise on the treadmill which helps my mental health, I'm not bothering about forcing education on the teen, we're all finally mucking in on clearing up and we're watching lots of tv.

I'm well aware that if (possible redundancy) and when I'm no longer furloughed and back to 5/6am get ups I'll no longer be having this extended holiday so I'm trying to enjoy it.

How old are your children, OP? If they are old enough, perhaps send them into the garden or make them entertain themselves indoor. We do a few hours of independent work each day broken up into chunks. I also organise relaxed art sessions one day a week in addition as a boredom buster. Today we painted some pine cones red and green. I hope this is useful to you.
For example, in the morning I start off with English after breakfast. Then math and history. Around half eleven I stop for lunch. From one to three, lessons resume. You could try to do something like that with them and see what happens. Or teach them to cook food properly or get them into gardening too. Try cooking a simple meal or bake some cakes together. There are tons of easy recipes available. Again search on Amazon, search online for kid friendly recipes and buy some age appropriate cookbooks.
What about reading? You could even do a chilled family reading session each night as well. There are lots of good books for children these days. Search on Amazon or check out a few of the child friendly book threads on here for some more helpful recommendations.
Alternatively play some games as a family. Blokus is a good one or check out Amazon. Do you have any board games or not at home?

In the morning the older two, 5 and 6 are free to mill about as they please. They’ll generally amuse themselves really well at the start of the day. When they become a bit more aimless I do a bit of work with them, I don’t think it’s more than an hour each. They’ve been playing in the garden a lot and we watch a film every afternoon together. I try to clear as I go, but yes, try not to worry about housework. As long as the washing is done and kitchen wiped down; I’m not bothered.

We aren’t doing any school work - sod it all. Dc aged 16 and 7. Very laid back here, not doing much except lots of unlimited iPad time / unlimited screen time. I do make them both come out for an hour or so long walk through the fields (we live rurally). And we are cooking nice things and having nice dinners etc. I’m doing couch to 5k on my treadmill and reading a bit. Basically just refusing to get stressed about anything.

Routine- DH and I are still working fr from home.

I'm at my desk by nine. Lunch at one.
Clean together on a Saturday morning although I do miss my cleaners!

During "term" DS2 does max 10 minutes work - he has SN and that's all I can manage with him. We play a game / ride bike / go in the garden.
DS1 does work set by school.

Do not be influenced by social media. Do what you can.

Once I got work/isolation sorted, I’ve sorta ignored it 😬

My kids are on holiday now. I am letting my DS9 be online with friends and watch videos, because that is what he enjoys and arguably - he is probably being the hardest hit by this lockdown.

Me playing boardgames, will not compensate him for his friends, but he is happy, and laughing watching a load of crappy videos online......

From what I can tell, when he has had some online Zoom chats with class friends they talk a load of rubbish anyway -so I am comfortable with the level of tripe that he is watching :-)

Everyone who doesn’t have a schedule is very keen to push that as the right thing to to, but it really depends on the family set up. DS (10) was anxious at first about not sticking to the school day (he wanted everything to be exactly the same including worship everyday, PE on the correct day only). We made a timetable that works, it’s not exactly the same as the school day eg he’s a firm atheist so why have a worship, but close enough and we wrote it down and stuck it up so he knows what’s coming up. He’s stuck to it perfectly and he’s happy! It works for me too as I work in education and have to make phone calls and then write reports at 9:30, 11am and 1pm. DH is on phone calls all day long upstairs in his office and so DS and I set up a little work station together in the kitchen table.

Housework is different as I hate it, it seems endless and I feel like I’ve been reduced to planning, making and cleaning up after food 🙈 we also have a cleaner usually who isn’t coming of course. I’m focussing on keeping the kitchen clean so we have a nice place to work and DH is actually helping for a change with the rest of the house so that’s good!

Thanks for all these great replies.

The problem with the housework is that I find it very stressful to have stuff everywhere in our smallish maisonette, and walking on dirty floors with bare feet gives me the rage.

My children are 7 and 9, the 9yo is pretty much self-sufficient with his homework. There’s a certain amount of built-in structure as their teachers have Zoom meetings each morning at set times.

Our holidays start at the end of this week (non-UK), for the poster who asked.

What these replies have made me realise is that the main issue is probably some sort of anxiety on my part, with a dose of cabin fever mixed in! We’re a family of homebodies and big readers, and have no trouble entertaining ourselves. Perhaps this lockdown period is going to be a time for
me to start to figure out how to handle my endless mental to do list once and for all. Hmmm.

Have an 8yo and a 3yo in a flat. Working from home 🥴 (me full time, DH part time). We are 4 weeks on and doing ok.

Don't expect your kids to do a full length school day. 2 or 3 hours is fine.
If you can afford it, have a few treats such as modelling clay, books, Lego, baking to bring out every few days.
Don't set additional goals - you have enough to do!
Now is not the time to worry about screen time.
10 minutes of housework every hour to keep on top of the basics.

We've been on Easter holidays this week so haven't really had any schedule. I am back to work tomorrow but honestly here is how I am coping. I am aiming to do 3 of the following things each day 1. Exercise. 2. Journal ( just write down what is going on) and 3. Make contact with someone either family or friends. I have a little tick list that I tick off when I've done them. I like to stay on top of housework as that makes my mental health a lot better so I do a few jobs everyday.

I was really stressed about dc's at first but then realised that was my stress and anxiety playing out and they are actually fine. They are watching tv / Star Wars on repeat, doing school work and calling friends and being online. When I changed my focus that I am keeping them safe and well at home and not being Minister of Fun then I allowed myself to relax, work and just get on with it. Some days are easier than others and I've had a few tears but I think that is 'normal' too in these times.

*my 2 to 3 hours us based on DD being happy to do this. If your kids aren't up for it "whatever" is also fine!

I've been using the Organised Mum method for staying on top of the house. DS does 1-2 hours of schoolwork a day but he can choose when. He has more Xbox time than I would normally allow, and he has unfettered access to YouTube. I've bought lots of art supplies for him.

This life is mostly bliss!

There will be kids whose parents manage all the homeschooling, keep an immaculate house but spend the whole period stressed as hell, and their children will walk on egg shells the whole time.

My two will do some school work, spend time online gaming with cousins, get filthy in the garden with a mother who maintains a level of hygiene in a house where clutter, Lego and art projects have taken over. But what lessons am I teaching them about mental health and survival for life? Be realistic? Flex with what comes? Find happiness where you can? What really matters of you have food, shelter and your health? I know it sounds trite